


Befuddled and Bewildered

by Imjustmakingsuffupagain



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Forbidden Love, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-28 13:37:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 52,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10105841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imjustmakingsuffupagain/pseuds/Imjustmakingsuffupagain
Summary: Mary Grimes, Rick's adult daughter, was at the lineup. She didn't want to be there. She had problems with it all from the start. Negan see's her and is enthralled.





	1. Ch 1

Negan's POV  
I was flip-flopping all night. My fucking brain won’t just shut off. Her face keeps flashing in front of my eyes. She was so beautiful. Why the hell did she have to be Rick’s kid!? Why the hell did I have to see her on that day. No way in hell she’ll ever want to fucking look at me after bashing in her friends heads.  
She reminded me of Lucille. She had a kindness to her like Lucille. The same brown hair. I had to stop myself from falling to my knees when a gust of wind made strands of her hair dance across her face. It took me back to before, when Lucille would garden and I’d call for her. She’d turn to me and smile as her hair blew across her perfect features. Fuck me! I’m in too deep and I don’t even know this woman!  
I sat up in bed and rubbed my chest. It was so tight, I was having a hard time breathing. I put my clothes on and decided to just start the fucking day. The sun was about rise anyway. I walked the halls, a few people up and working, kneeling. I swung Lucille as I walked out to the front yard. Simon was yelling at a few new recruits, Dwight was dealing with Daryl on fence duty. I sauntered over to Simon.  
“These newbies...I don’t know boss. They seem real fucking stupid to me.” Simon sighed shaking his head as they ran off. I laughed patting him on the shoulder.  
“They always do. But you’re the best teacher we got. Arat doesn’t have the temper for it.” I said.  
“Oh I remember last time. How many broken noses was it? Three?” HE asked with a smile.  
“Four I think. Anyway, I was thinking last night, I can’t remember that woman’s name. At the line up. Rick’s daughter. You got any ideas?” I asked.  
“Oh yeah. Mary. Rick kept calling her Mary. Why?” Simon asked crossing his arms.  
“None of your damn business that’s why.” I said swinging Lucille onto my shoulder.  
“Be careful with that one boss. She had a fire, won’t break like her dad.” Simon said. I waved him off as I walked away. Mary. Mary sounded like a song. It hit my ears just right. 

Mary’s POV

I sat on the porch of my house. My anger still hadn’t ebbed in anyway. My house suddenly felt too big. Carol was gone, Daryl was taken, it was just me in the big house. I had instructed my father to leave me alone. I was still having a hard time looking at him. Carl was upset with me, I could tell. He took our father’s word as gospel. I just couldn’t.  
I watched as the Saviours took the beds from all the houses, except mine. The took everything they liked, but when they came through my house, only a few bottles of water and boxes of cereal. I looked over at Negan, standing talking to one of his men. He caught me and winked. I got up and stomped over to him.  
“Why are you taking the beds from everyone except me?” I asked, crossing my arms. He smiled and walked closer to me, his leather jacket brushed against my arms.  
“Well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of your pretty little head on the cold, hard, ground.” He said, his voice like dark velvet.  
“Whatever you think is going to happen because you let me keep my bed, is not going to happen. Whatever special treatment you give me because you want in my pants, is not going to work.” I said, standing firm. He chuckled and leaned forward, his lips next to my ear. I felt his scruff rub against my cheek.  
“You and I both know there’s something here. One day, you’ll give into it. I can wait.” He growled into my ear. I tried to hide the shivers that traveled down my spine. He pulled away and winked at me. I tried to compose myself, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d frazzled me. I turned and stomped away.  
“Hey, are you alright? Did he hurt you? What’d he say?” Rick asked as he grabbed my wrist.  
“Nothing. He didn’t say anything, I’m fine. Let go.” I sighed. His grip was loose. I could just yank it away, but I was giving him the opportunity to let go.  
“I need this attitude to stop right now.” He barked.  
“I said, let go.” I growled back. His eyes started to burn, my defiance making him angry.  
“Rick! I believe I heard the lovely lady say to let go!” Negan ambled over to us. Rick let go of my wrist.  
“I wasn’t hurting her. I was-”  
“Don’t care. I ever see you touch her like that again, especially when you are so clearly pissed with me, I’m going to have to punish you. Now, I don’t want that, you don’t want that and I’m sure she doesn’t want that. So, let’s not do it again.” He smiled. Rick nodded and walked off.  
“I was handling it.” I barked.  
“Oh I know you were doll face. I just don’t want him taking his anger for me out on you.” He said.  
“He doesn’t hurt me. He’d be a walker by now if he did.” I said.  
“Yeah, I can see that. Nobody fucks with you and gets away with it, right?” He chuckled.  
“Usually how it goes. I’d be careful, if I were you.” I said. Negan leaned down close.  
“People don’t get away with threatening me. But you get a pass. It’s an emotional day.” He said leaning back and smiling. I shook my head and walked back to my house.  
“Can’t wait to see you next time Doll!” Negan called after me. I didn’t turn or acknowledge him in anyway. I ran into the house and slammed the door shut. I got a glass of water and chugged it. I had to get this feeling away. He made my stomach flip. My brain kept replaying him whispering in my ear, the feeling of his breath on my skin, every hair standing on end. I can’t feel like this. Not for him.


	2. Ch 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan pisses off one of his wives. Mary and Rick bump heads.

Negan’s pov

I sat in bed, sheet sprawled over my waist, lost in my thoughts. Lacey was babbling about something as she got dressed.   
“Negan? Did you hear me?” She said looking over to me as she stood in her bra and panties.   
“Not a word. The fuck was it you said?” I sighed looking over to her. I could see the anger bubbling up in her. She shook her head, running a hand through her hair.   
“I said, I don’t mind you fantasizing about someone else, but don’t call me their name. It really creeps me out.” She said pulling her dress on.   
“What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t call you someone else...did I?” I tried to remember, but I couldn’t.   
“Yeah, you did. Called me Mary. I don’t even know who that is.” She sighed. I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my hands over my face.   
“Shit. I’m sorry babe. Won’t happen again.” I said pulling my boxers on.   
“Yeah sure.” She said and left the room. I went and jumped into the shower. This woman was infiltrating my thoughts. I can’t get her out of my head. Her eyes are all I can think about. It was sappy and fucking stupid. My chest started aching again. I was fucked. There was no way in hell she was ever going to want me the way I want her. She hates me.   
I finished cleaning up and got dressed. I headed towards Simon’s office. I banged on the door with Lucille and walked in.   
“Boss? Something wrong?” He asked looking up from his papers.   
“Fuck yeah there is! I can’t get that fucking woman out of my head.” I said falling into the chair across from him.   
“Shit, you’re really taken by her, huh? Never seen you so upset about a girl before.” He chuckled shaking his head.   
“It’s bad Simon. I fucking pissed Lacey off, I fucking called her Mary when I was screwing her last night!” I grumbled. Simon started laughing.   
“I’m sorry Boss. That woman isn’t going just jump into your arms any time soon. Even if you did get her on our side, she wouldn’t just fall at your feet.” Simon shrugged.   
“I know! That’s why this is so motherfucking frustrating. When are we due back at Alexandria?” I asked. Simon looked over his journal.   
“Three days. We have a run out to the Kingdom in two.” He said.   
“Move Alexandria up. We’ll go tomorrow. Keep them on their toes.” I said getting up.   
“Right. Keep them on their toes. Good strategy boss.” He smiled.   
“You got something to say asshole?” I prodded.   
“No...no. Just need more pictures for the spank bank while we’re there too I’m guessing.” He laughed. I tossed his papers in the air and left. He wasn’t wrong though.

Mary’s pov

I felt the need to keep busy more and more lately. The increasing displeasure of my father’s presence encouraging the feeling. I went out on a run at least once a day, even if it was only for a few hours. I didn’t want to just sit around anymore.   
I was coming back from a run, having caught a deer. I walked up to the opened gate with it on my back, seeing Negan’s crew going through everyone’s houses. Except mine again.   
“Whoa! Nice piece of meat you go there sweetheart. The deer ain’t bad either!” One of the men laughed as he walked up to me. I just glared back at him.   
“You want to hand that over or are we going to have a problem?” He said his hand on his gun. I rolled my eyes and dropped the deer at his feet. I walked past them, ignoring their whistles. I stomped into my house slamming the door shut.   
“Well, welcome home honey!” I heard Negan say from my kitchen. My head snapped towards him. He was sitting on the kitchen island, eating one of my protein bars.   
“What are you doing in here? Shouldn’t you be out keeping control of your people?” I growled putting my knives in the sink to clean later.   
“Arat has them under control mostly. She can handle it.” He smiled at me.   
“Why are you eating my food and sitting on my counter?” I barked as I looked up at him.   
“What can I say. I missed ya.” He said leaning down closer to me. I stood my ground, though part of me stood hoping he’d lean in closer.   
“Didn’t miss you.” I said.   
“Aw, don’t be like that doll. We both know that’s not true.” He smirked. He jumped off my counter and turned so he was inches away.   
“Tell me you want me to go and I’ll go. But don’t lie to me or yourself.” He drawled. His words seemed so smooth in my ear. I couldn’t move as he got closer.   
“I...I…” Mumbling as he leaned forward, his hand moving up my arm and resting on my neck, his thumb trailing along my jawline.   
“Tell me no and I’ll stop.” He whispered as he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. Everything in me knew this was wrong. But I couldn’t fight it. I wanted this. I kissed him back. His tongue slipping past my lips. I groaned as I was overtaken by my desire. I didn’t know how long we’d been in each other’s arms before I snapped back to reality. I pulled away and stumbled back.   
“No. This can’t happen. This...this can’t...I can’t…” I mumbled my hand moving to my lips.   
“Alright, just calm down. I won’t kiss you again unless you ask me to.” He said, almost sounding sweet.   
“Someone...someone could have seen.” I said looking out the window, panicked.   
“No one saw. Everyone’s preoccupied with my people.” He reassured me. I looked at him confused. This seemed weird.   
“Why are you being so nice to me? Why are you so...calm with me?” I asked confused.   
“I mean, I thought I made real fucking obvious there a second a go. I fucking like you.” He said moving towards me.   
“Why?” I asked him, not breaking eye contact. I could see something behind his eyes, something more than what he usually showed people. He was about to answer when Rick came running into the house.   
“You’re people have everything. Do you need something from Mary? Has she done something wrong?” Rick said walking into the room.   
“You have great fucking timing Rick! If I did need something from Mary, that would be our business. Not yours.” Negan growled looking down at Rick.   
“I just...I don’t want her to get herself into trouble is all…” Rick said. I looked at him appalled. He never thought I could take care of things myself.   
“She is being much more respectful than you Prick. I’m going to look over everything. Make sure it’s to my liking. Meet me out front Prick.” Negan barked as he gave me a wink and turn to leave. Rick didn’t say anything until he was sure Negn was out of earshot.   
“What the hell was he doing in here? What did you do?” He asked. I sighed as I walked away.   
“He was making sure I didn’t have anything he wanted I assume. Just like everybody else. I did nothing. I even brought them back a deer.” I said, my voice clearly annoyed.   
“Listen to me. I need you to stop whatever this is while they are around.” Rick said as I walked out of the house.   
“You notice how you start this, not me? I keep my mouth shut. You come in and make everything shit.” I growled as I walked towards the gates. Rick grabbed my wrist, forcing me to turn towards him.   
“I don’t get why you’re so damn mad at me, when all I’m trying to do is protect you.” He hissed. I yanked my arm from him.   
“You got us into this! You’re the reason they’re here!” I yelled.   
“You were there with us, you didn’t have to come!” He yelled.   
“Oh and just sit around here wondering if you’d all died! No! What I did was wrong. I know that. But you don’t seem to think what you did was wrong, other than in a strategic sense.” I said.   
“We were trying to keep everyone fed, everyone safe!” He yelled. A crowd was starting to form, but neither of us took notice.   
“You got them killed! If it wasn’t for your ego, your inability to listen to anyone else Glenn and Abraham would be here!!” I screamed. It was four seconds of time. Four seconds for the words to come out of my mouth. Four seconds for the anger and hurt to rise in him, take over his eyes. Four seconds for his hand to rise up and slam across my cheek. Four seconds. I stumbled back, my hands mindlessly going to my face.   
“No…” I heard him whisper as the realization of what had just happened came over him. I looked over at him, trying to keep the tears at bay.   
“Hell no!!” Came a cry from behind us. I turned to see Negan and his men running up to us. His men throwing Rick on the ground as he came over to me. He pulled my hands from my face, looking at the red mark forming on my face.   
“Please, don’t. I’m fine. He doesn’t need to be punished anymore than he’ll punish himself.” I told him with a shaky voice. Negan looked down at me, anger burning in his eyes.   
“I really want to hurt him doll. I really do. Make an example of him.” Negan growled.   
“He’s made an example of himself. No one will look at him the same. Just...don’t hurt him. Please.” I asked. He sighed and walked over to Rick, looming over him.   
“I fucking see or hear of you laying a finger on her again, I will not be so fucking goddamn nice. The only reason you aren’t black and blue right now is because of her. You should kiss her fucking feet! I want to beat you myself. But I won’t. Don’t even look at her again, don’t breathe near her. I’ll fucking know, you stupid motherfucker. I will fucking know.” He growled, never sounding more dangerous than in that moment. He gave a nod of his head and his men got up from Rick and walked back to the convoy. Negan walked over to me.   
“Offer to come with us is always on the table doll. We can protect you there. Give you a safe place.” He said looking at the scars on my arms.   
“I can’t.” I told him. He smiled and looked at the ground, shaking his head.   
“You just let me know when you can and I’ll come running.” He smiled and left. I hadn’t wanted to leave until that moment. The thought of safety. The thought of actually sleeping at night without the fear of death looming, it sounded so nice. I couldn’t. I had too much to do here. I walked over to where Rick was sitting on the ground, his face red from embarrassment and crying.   
“Do not try to apologize. Do not try to make it up to me. Do not try and contact me. You ay ask the others about me. That is all you get now. You don’t come to my house. You leave me be. I mean it.” I growled. He looked up at me and was about to talk, I didn’t want to hear it. I walked back to my house and closed the door. I tried to make it to the couch, but collapsed into my knees just before it. Sobs wracking my body. Everything was more complicated everyday.


	3. Ch 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do princesses need Knights in shinning armor or Dragons?

Mary’s POV

I kept to myself now. I went on runs. Sometimes I would be gone for days. I just couldn’t stand being there anymore. It felt too fake. It all felt like a movie set, everyone was playing a part. Nothing felt real. If I was on a run, it felt real. I wasn’t sitting waiting to die. I was doing something.   
Rick would pass me and for a couple of days would try and talk to me. I would just keep my eyes forward and my mouth shut. He got the lesson. He now just watched me when I walked by. Michonne would come by, make sure I was okay and eating. Every time she would try to convince me to talk to Rick. I just couldn’t. I was too tired.   
I would lay in my bed at night, trying to just sleep. It didn’t come easy, living in a house by myself. My thoughts would always eventually drift to that moment in the kitchen. The feeling of his hand on my neck, his lips against mine. I couldn’t shake it. I thought I was just in shock, but I was wrong. I wondered if he’d be back on the next run or if he’d just send his people without him. I wondered when the next time I would see him would be. I found, I wanted him to come back. 

Negan’s POV

I sat on the edge of my bed, Lacey sitting on my lap kissing my neck. Any other time, I would be happy, excited, thrilled. A gorgeous woman ready to fuck, my dream. But my mind wouldn’t stop wandering. I sighed as I lifted her off me and put her on the bed.   
“Look babe. You’re great. I just am not feeling it tonight. Thought I was, but I was wrong.” I told her.   
“Did...did I do something wrong?” She asked confused.   
“What? No! No. You’re fucking great. I’m just...not in the mood.” I shook my head. She crossed her arms and huffed.   
“Are you sick or something? You never turn down sex.” She said getting up and grabbing her clothes.   
“Fuck, I might be. Sick in the head I think.” I sighed. She got dressed and stormed out. Ever since I saw Rick smack Mary, I hadn’t been able to think about anything else. Every atom of my being didn’t want her there. Not with that prick around. I knew she wouldn’t leave so easy. But damn it I just wanted to know she was safe! She didn’t have to be with me, but if she were at the Sanctuary, at least I knew she was okay.   
I threw on my clothes and grabbed Lucille. I wandered the halls, people kneeling as they passed. I walked into Simon’s office and sat down. He glanced up, but continued his work.   
“Something on your mind?” He asked. I grumbled and pulled at my leather jacket.   
“Mary. I can’t stop worrying. I fucking hate it. I don’t fucking worry and now this woman has me in knots!” I yelled throwing my hands in the air.   
“She’s a strong lady from what I can tell. She can take care of herself. I don’t think you need to worry.” Simon said.   
“I know that! I know I don’t need to worry. She’s a grown woman, she’s capable. I can’t stop. I couldn’t even fuck Lacey.” I said pinching the bridge my nose. Simon looked up confused for a second.   
“Wow. You never turn her down.” He chuckled.   
“I fucking know!” I yelled.   
“It makes some sense. You did see what Rick did to her. Even though it probably was a one time thing, and no excuses here, but you can’t know that. So your brain goes into worry mode because you like her.” Simon said leaning back into his chair.   
“Well shit. Thanks Doctor Simon.” I chuckled.   
“I took a few classes in my day.” He smiled.   
“Anyway, I know I wasn’t supposed to go on the next run to Alexandria, but I am.”I said standing.   
“I know. It’s been arranged for days that you’d be coming with us.” Simon smirked. I rolled my eyes and left. 

Mary’s POV

Everyone looked at me differently. I had a stigma on my back. They all saw what went down. They all saw what Rick did. More importantly, they saw how Negan and I interacted. They saw, that I might have a softness for him and he for me. I tried to tell people that it was just because of the slap. That Negan just wanted to make sure I wasn’t hurt, he’d do the same for any woman. No one listened.   
I could feel the eyes on me as I made my way towards the gate. Aaron was on guard duty. He only looked at me with pity in his eyes now. I hated it. I wasn’t something to be pitied.   
“Going out again? Didn’t you just come back? You should rest. You’ll overwork yourself.” He said.   
“I’m not tired. I’m fine. Just open the gate please.” I said looking at the ground and adjusting my belt.   
“I just...let someone else go. Rick and Michonne are going a run tomorrow. You can have the day off.” He said trying to get me to stay.   
“Why are you so concerned? I want to go, I’m going.” I said looking at him confused. Then it hit me.   
“Shit. You have to be kidding me!” I yelled throwing my hands in the air.   
“What?” Aaron asked.   
“What!? You know damn well what! He told you not to let me out right!? Right!?” I barked.   
“Well...he did. He’s just looking out for you.” Aaron said looking guilty. I didn’t blame him, but I wasn’t pleased.   
“This is bullshit!” I yelled and stomped away. He was going to keep locked away. Keep me where he could see me. A golden prison. I marched towards his house. Barging into his house and finding him and Michonne in the kitchen.   
“What the hell do you think you’re doing huh!?” I yelled. He looked taken back, Michonne was confused.   
“What are you talking about?” He asked.   
“You told them not to let me out. You told them not to let me go on runs!” I yelled standing in front of him.   
“I just think you’ve been doing too much. You need to take it easy. We need people here just as much as out there.” He tried to reason.   
“Bullshit. You don’t like me leaving, you can’t keep an eye on me if I leave.” I crossed my arms.   
“Rick, did you really give that order?” Michonne looked surprised.   
“Yes! She’s my daughter and I’m keeping her safe!” He said.   
“You want me locked up! I am the best on runs, the best since Daryl and you know it. This is your ego again.” I barked.   
“Rick, you can’t do this to her! Keeping her locked in here won’t solve anything.” Michonne told him.   
“I need people here! I need to know where everyone is now!” He yelled.   
“You know I never leave without telling someone. I always give them a time limit. I tell them where I’m headed. You have no excuses here! If you keep me locked in here I’ll lose my fucking mind!”  
“Just stop it! You’re being unreasonable!” Rick yelled.   
“I am? Look in a fucking mirror.” I said and stomped away. I was stuck. I never liked being stuck. I walked into my house and went to the kitchen. I paced around, full of anger and nothing to do with it. I grabbed a glass and smashed into the sink. It was stupid and wasteful. But I felt a little better. I looked up through the kitchen window and saw Negan’s trucks rolling through the gate. I felt my mouth pull into a small smile against my will. I shook my head and looked down to see blood dripping to the sink and a slice in my hand.   
“Shit.” I sighed. 

Negan’s POV

We rolled through the gates, my eyes subconsciously looking around for Mary. I hopped out and swung Lucille over my shoulder. Rick came running up, sweat already on his brow.   
“We weren’t expecting you so soon. What I mean is we don’t have a lot.” He stammered.   
“Well, we’ll see what you got for us anyway, Rick. Simon! Go with Rick. Have a look through the houses again. Don’t want a repeat of the gun incident.” I barked as I tried to burn holes through Rick’s skull with the fury in my eyes.   
“You got it Boss. You heard the man! Get to it!” Simon yelled and he walked with Rick as his people started towards the houses. I made my way towards Mary’s house. I knocked Lucille on her door before walking.   
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, doll.” I smirked as I saw her standing over the sink. The light streamed in through the window, her hair shined in the sun. Fuck if it didn’t make me weak in the knees. Something bright caught my eye and I looked to see red streaming from her hand.   
“Fuck, that’s a lot of blood doll.” I said putting Lucille down on a chair and rushing over to her.   
“It’s just a cut. I don’t think it needs stitches.” She sighed. I grabbed a towel from the counter and put it on her cut.   
“So the smashing glasses, that a regular thing or what?” I smirked. She shook her head, trying to hide a smile.   
“It’s a recent development.” She said, still not looking up at me.   
“Problems with Rick the Prick?” I asked turning the faucet on and moving her hand under the lukewarm water. Her face scrunched up as she winced.   
“Yeah.” She said, her voice small. I tried to keep my blood from boiling.   
“Didn’t hurt you again, did he?” I asked clearing my throat.   
“No. He just...he won’t let me leave for runs.I don’t like being stuck.” She said straightening herself. I turned the water off and dried her hand. My fingers lingering against her skin. She moved and grabbed a band-aid from the drawer.   
“Let me do it.” I said taking it from her and ripping the wrapping and placing it gently on her cut.   
“So you’re a princess locked in your tower. Does that make me the knight in shining armor?” I smirked, her hand still in mine.   
“Or maybe the dragon.” She looked at me a mischievous grin on her face. Her eyes were so fucking bright, like fucking jewels. I had to remind myself to breathe.   
“Either way I can get you out of here. Just say the word.” I told her, my hand trailing up her arm and pulling her towards me.   
“You don’t give up easy.” She laughed, my heart skipped a beat.   
“Not really what I’m known for, Doll.” I said watching her every expression as I moved my hands to cup her cheek, not moving for a second. Waiting for her to let me know she wanted what I did. She pressed her face into my hand and I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers. I saw stars, she made me see stars. Maybe I was having a stroke, but I thought she was the sweetest thing I’d ever tasted. She deepened the kiss, her hands running through my hair. She let out a small moan and every hair on my body stood on end. She broke the kiss, out of breath.   
“Doll, you really know how to turn a man’s world upside down.” I whispered. She looked up at me and smiled. I was fucked.   
“You always so cheesy or is just for me?” She giggled.   
“Oh this is a recent development. Just for you doll.” I smiled. She shook her head and looked out the window.   
“Oh shit.” She gasped. My gaze went to match hers, seeing Rick standing outside looking into the kitchen. He stormed his way into the house.   
“I’m sorry, darlin’.” I sighed as he walked in, clearly pissed as hell.   
“What do you think you’re doing Mary!?” He yelled. I could feel her tense up beside me without having to touch her.   
“I’m living my own damn life.” She barked back at him. Atta girl!   
“You’ve seen what he did! What he does!” Rick yelled.   
“I’ve seen what you do! I know what we’ve done! What makes him any worse than you!?” She yelled. Rick looked like she had just punched him in the gut.   
“You need to leave. You have your stuff. Please go.” Rick said looking to me.   
“Oh Rick! I’ll go when I’m good and ready and not a fucking second sooner!” I said giving him a smile.   
“We need to talk. Can we please go somewhere to talk.” Rick pleaded with Mary.   
“No. I don’t want that. I want you to go.” She said crossing her arms.   
“Mary-” Rick went forward trying to put a hand on her arm.   
“Whoa! I heard the lady say she wants you to leave. I do I believe I made it clear that you are not to touch her.” I growled, towering over him. Rick looked up at me, shaking. He stood still for a moment.   
“Rick, I’d start moving them bowed legs of yours out that fucking door.” I growled, leaning in closer. He shook his head and stomped out the door. I turned to Mary, she looked on the verge of tears.   
“I’m sorry. I should have been looking. I didn’t mean to put you in this shit situation.” I sighed moving closer to her.   
“No. It’s my fault. I should have been more careful. But this was bound to happen. It’ll just get worse now. Fuck.” She said running her hands over her face. I put my hands on her shoulders.   
“What do you want me to do?” I asked.   
“You can’t do anything. This isn’t your’s to fix.” She sighed. We stood silent in the kitchen. Simon came banging on the door.   
“We got everything, when you’re ready boss.” He called through the door.   
“Yeah! Just go wait by the trucks!” I yelled back at him. I looked down at Mary and ran my thumb along her jawline.   
“Offer still stands. I can use my big dragon feet and stomp you a way out of here.” I smiled. She gave a small chuckle.   
“I...I want to. I want to go with you, but I need a few things from you to do that.” She said looking up at me, her face serious.   
“Anything. Anything you want. I’ll do anything.” I told her sounding the most desperate I had ever sounded in my fucking life and not giving a single fuck.  
“I need my own space if I go. I need to say goodbye to my brother and sister.” She said.   
“Absolutely. You’ll get your own room. Nice big one. Locks on the door and everything. You take as much time as you need with them. We can wait.” I told her.   
“Okay. But...I need another thing. It’s a big thing and it might piss you off.”She said.   
“Tell me.” I said.   
“You have to let Daryl go. You have to let Daryl come back here. Stay here.” She said looking up at me. I sighed and looked at the floor. Of course she’d ask that. I ran a hand over my beard as I thought.   
“You’re really testing me here Doll.” I sighed.   
“I won’t go if you don’t let him go.” She said standing firm. I looked down at her. Her blue eyes ripping my heart to shreds.   
“Okay...I’ll let him go. For you.” I whispered. She looked at me surprised. She threw her arms around my neck and pulled me down into a hug.   
“Thank you…” She breathed against my skin, sending shivers down my spine.   
“Anything for you. Now go see your brother and sister. I’ll have Laura come pack your shit up.” I told her. She nodded and ran from the house. I never thought I’d be in this deep again. But here I stood, but to my chin. 

Mary’s POV

I ran towards my family’s house. They were going to hate me. They were all going to hate me. They already did. But I couldn’t hate Carl or Judith. Hell Judith didn’t even understand what was going on. I ran into the house, Carl standing up with Judith in his arms.   
“What happened?” He asked. I shook my head walking over and taking Judith from him.   
“I’m going away. I don’t know if I’ll come back. But I need you to know that this has nothing to do with you. This is something I’m doing for me.” I told him. He looked at me confused.   
“Is he taking you? We’ll figure out something.” He said, his fists clenching.   
“No. He isn’t taking me. I’m going with him. I’m choosing this Carl. I know you’re going to hate me. I know you are. It’s okay. Be angry with me, I can handle it. I need you to know that I’ll always love you. Both of you.” I said kissing Judith’s head. He looked angry with me. I put Judith down on her blanket and stood in front of Carl.   
“You aren’t going to want to listen to me, but I need you to hear this.” I said putting my hands on his shoulders.   
“You are strong. Stronger than anyone here, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have moments of weakness. You need to let yourself have that. It’s okay. You need to know that you can speak up. You have a voice, a good one. Use it. Dad’s word is not law, it’s not gospel. Question everything.” He looked up at me, rage filled his eyes.   
“You’re making a mistake.” He growled.   
“It’s mine to make. I love you.” I said pulling him into a hug he clearly didn’t want and kissing his cheek. I turned and left. I walked towards the trucks, where Negan stood.   
“You ready doll? Laura’s got your things in the truck.” He said. I nodded.   
“Dwight, let our boy Daryl go.” Everyone looked over at Negan confused.   
“Boss? Let him go?” Dwight asked. Negan walked over to Dwight and Daryl.  
“You’re free to go, Daryl. Go run off with Rick. Do whatever the hell you want.” Negan told him. Daryl looked up at him and started to walk away, looking to make sure it was true. HE made his way over to me.   
“You ain’t got to do this for me.” He said pulling me into a hug. I grabbed onto him, not caring that he stank.   
“I’m not doing this for you. I have to do this for me.” I told him. He pulled away and looked at me horrified.   
“I hope one day you don’t hate me.” I told him trying to keep the tears from spilling.   
“I ain’t ever gonna hate you. But I’m real upset with ya.” He said and walked away. I heard screaming and turned to see Rick running towards me. I felt Negan walk up behind me.   
“Just say the word and we leave.” He said.   
“Mary! You can’t do this! You can’t go with him!!” He screamed as he stopped in front of me.  
“I can. I want to, so I am.” I said trying my best to not sound angry.   
“If you’re trying to punish me, I get it. I was wrong. You can go on runs. I’m sorry. Just...please...don’t do this.” He pleaded.   
“I’m going Rick. I’m going and you can’t change my mind.” I told him and turned to Negan.   
“I want to go now.” I said, my voice shaking. He nodded and lead me to the truck. I hopped in, he hopped in next to me.   
“Get us the hell out of here Simon.” He said as Simon jumped into the driver’s seat.   
“You got it boss.” Simon said as he started up the truck. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw Rick fall to his knees as we pulled away. Carl was next to him, Daryl put his hand on Rick’s shoulder. Negan must have sensed I was upset and wrapped his arms around me pulling me to his chest.   
“You have to take care of yourself too, Doll.” He told me as I clung onto him. He was right. I needed to look after my own well being for once.


	4. ch 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan gives Mary the grand tour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I just started a new job and I had writer's block. I'll get better about keeping up. Enjoy!

We got back to Sanctuary later than expected. It was dusk, the sky was still tinged orange. Mary had fallen asleep on my shoulder. The bright lights from the guard station flashed over her face and made her scrunch up her nose in displeasure. She groaned and sat up.   
“We’re here Doll. Welcome to the Sanctuary.” I said as Simon parked the car in front of the large complex. I jumped out and offered her my hand. She gave me a confused look and jumped out herself.   
“It’s...massive.” She said looking up.   
“You have no idea.” I chuckled. She shot me a glare, but there was a smile in her eyes.   
“Simon, have them take inventory of everything. I’m going to escort our newest member to her room. Laura! You just bring her things to her room. Don’t worry about that shit.” I instructed. Laura nodded and grabbed some boxes and shuffled off.   
“You run all of this?” Mary asked, rubbing her arms and shivering.   
“I do. Simon helps, but it all falls on my fucking head. Let’s get you out of this cold before you freeze your tits off.” I said guiding her into the building. She walked beside me down the halls, her eyes wide and alert. Her brow furrowed. She clearly was thinking about if she had made a mistake or not. We got to her room.   
“This is yours.” I said motioning to the door. She opened and walked in. It was fine, nothing like my room. It had a bed and a tv. There was a small kitchen area on one wall, and a bathroom. She walked in and looked around.   
“How did you have this all ready for me?” She asked looking intrigued and maybe a little frightened.   
“I radioed back here while you were talking to Carl. Wanted to make sure you were comfortable.” I smiled leaning on the door frame. Laura brushed by me, setting the boxes of Mary’s things down and leaving. I saw Mary’s face fall at the mention of Carl.   
“Listen, Doll, you can see them sometimes. If you want to go on runs to Alexandria, I’m fine with that. This isn’t a prison sentence. I want you to be happy.” I said walking towards her.   
“Thank you. This is all wonderful. Thanks. I’m just...I’m tired.” She said her voice cracking.   
“Right. Of course you are. You must be fucking exhausted after today. I’ll let you sleep. I’ll show you around myself tomorrow.” I smiled down at her. She gave a weak smile and a nod.   
“Get some rest.” I nodded and left. Did I fucking break her, bringing her here? She looked different. It was probably just the exhaustion. I didn’t want to lose her fire. I fucking loved it. I went to bed thinking of her, wondering if she’d like it here or if she would vanish by morning. 

“What do you think you’re doing, Negan?” I opened my eyes and saw Lucille staring down at me.   
“What? What are you talking about?” I sat up and pulled her towards me. She pushed back from me.   
“That girl. You think you love her, don’t you?” She sighed looking away from me.   
“I...I don’t know. She’s not like the others.” I told her. She shook her head.   
“I didn’t mind the others, you just fucked them. This woman...you want more with her. Why?” She asked looking up at me with tears in her eyes.   
“You’re gone Lucille. You’re dead. I can’t make choices based on you anymore.” I growled standing up.   
“You see me in her don’t you?” She said, stopping me in my tracks.   
“Shut up.” I barked.   
“You see her as a way to make right between us.”  
“She isn’t you! No one is! She...she has hair like yours. Her eyes...they shine just as bright. But she’s more than you ever could have been. I can tell that already.” I said. Lucille looked up at me with her mouth open, agast.   
“You can’t fix us anymore Negan. Don’t hurt her because of that.” She barked and walked out slamming the door.   
“Lucille…” I sighed. 

I woke up in a cold sweat, panting. I didn’t have vivid dreams, but when I did they were always with Lucille.   
“Fuck….” I ran a hand threw my hair and got up to get ready for the day. I got dressed and left, walking to Mary’s room.   
“Rise and shine Doll!” I knocked on the door. I heard some movement behind the door before she swung it open.   
“Morning.” I smiled down at her.   
“Good morning. I thought you were blowing smoke saying you were going to show me around.” She said.   
“I don’t lie and I don’t blow smoke.”I told her. There was a hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth.   
“Well, give me the grand tour.” She said stepping out of the room. I swung Lucille over my shoulder as we walked down the hall. 

Mary’s POV

He walked me around the place, showing me all the different rooms. He took me to the training grounds, the commissary, everywhere. We walked into the cafeteria, there were people everywhere.   
“Normally people use their points to get food. But you don’t have to worry Doll. You don’t need points.” He told me as he lead me around the room. People knelt as he passed. It all felt like a bizarre dream. We walked back up towards my room. He lead me just past it down the hall to two big double doors.   
“This is my room. The door is always open for you. Whatever you need, you just come knocking.” He smirked. I smiled and looked down the hall.   
“What’s that door?” I asked. He looked uncomfortable.   
“You’re not gonna like it. Don’t go opening it.” He warned. I raised an eyebrow and started towards it.   
“Mary, don’t-” But I reached it before he could stop me. I opened the door and was met by a room full of women in scantily clad clothes. I was confused, upset, somehow I felt betrayed.   
“What...what is this?” I asked whipping my head to meet his gaze.   
“These….they are my wives.” He sighed. I closed the door and stomped off.   
“I...I’m going to my room.” I huffed.   
“Mary...doll! Hey! Just stop a minute.” He said grabbing my wrist. I turned to face him, anger bubbling in my veins.   
“So, what? Am I just some kind of trophy you’re trying to add to your collection?” I barked.   
“No! You are most certainly fucking not!” He yelled back at me.   
“Who just keeps women like that? Maybe I was wrong…” I shook my head.   
“Hey! You want them gone? They’re gone. I never treated them badly. They were my wife because they need to be. They couldn’t pay for meds, they couldn’t hack out there. They all came to me. If you want them gone they will be gone.” He said. I stared at him dumbfounded.   
“I...I don’t know what I want. But it’s not you right now.” I told him.   
“That fucking hurts Doll.” He growled.   
“It’s the truth. You didn’t want me to lie. I won’t lie.” I said.   
“Fine. I get it. It’s a lot to take in. Digest it all. You start working with Laura tomorrow. She won’t take it easy on you. Don’t expect her to give you any special treatment.”He growled.   
“I wouldn’t.” I spat back.   
“Fucking good then. I have shit to do. Do whatever the fuck you want. If you steal any weapons, I’ll fucking know about it.” He said as he swung Lucille onto his shoulder and pushed past me. I stood in the hallway and watched him walk away. Why was I so damn mad? We didn’t have an agreement. We didn’t even know each other well. There was something about him that I wanted all to myself.


	5. Ch 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan's been avoiding Mary. What happens when they finally are in the same room together?

Mary’s POV

They all seemed to think I was useless, like I hadn’t been living in the apocalypse for god knows how long. Laura was surprised when I showed her up on the shooting range. They all looked surprised whenever I proved that I wasn’t a dumbass. I started working in inventory. I spend my day counting cans and doing paperwork. It almost felt normal.   
I set my tray of food down next to Laura and sat down. She seemed to be okay with me. Not sure I’d go as far as to say she liked me. But she respected that I could survive this world on my own, if need be.   
“Boss man wants to see you after you eat.” She said through bites of food.   
“What? Why?” I asked, my voice sounding much more anxious than intended.   
“I don’t fucking know. I didn’t ask. Probably just an evaluation. Make sure you’re keeping up to standards.” Laura shrugged and went back to eating. I had a creeping feeling that it wasn’t for an evaluation.   
“You should step on the gas. Don’t keep him waiting too long.” Laura said. I nodded and started shoving food in my face. I had been here all of four days and ever since that first day, I hadn’t seen him. It was like he became a ghost. I knew he was around. I’d catch glimpses of him walking away or see Lucille disappear around a corner. That was it. It frustrated me. I frustrated me.   
I finished up my food and cleaned up and left. Part of me was nervous. Part of me was excited. I didn’t know which side was winning. 

Negan’s POV

She spewed those words at me, it felt like fucking acid hitting my skin. She wanted to hurt me. Fuck if it didn’t work. I kept my distance. I watched from afar. I made sure she was doing alright, but never let her see me. I was practically a fucking stalker. Simon would come back with reports for me. Despite everything, she was doing fine. I never doubted it. She might even be our best shooter. Damn did she look gorgeous when she was proud of herself. That perfect smile would spread across her face and knock me out.   
There were a couple of times I wanted to just run up to her and beg her to just fucking be with me. But I knew I couldn’t. She had to make that choice herself. I hoped she would soon. I was getting fucking blue balls. Not to mention my wives were fucking antsy as shit!  
“Negan? Negan. Do you just want to sit here or…” Lacey’s voice broke me from my thoughts.   
“Oh...I..uh. Shit. I don’t fucking know.” I sighed running my hands threw my hair. I felt the bed dip down as she sat next to me, her hand on my back and the other on my arm.   
“It’s okay. I get it. This new girl...she’s more.” Lacey said. I looked up at her confused.   
“The fucking hell are you fucking talking about?” I asked. She let out an exasperated laugh.   
“You are many things Negan, subtle is not one of them. At least not with your wives. But that may be because we’re around you more. I see the way you watch her. I heard how she reacted.” She said rubbing circles on my back. This was the first time I had seen Lacey be sympathetic.   
“She doesn’t seem to like me as much as we thought. Maybe bringing her back here was a mistake.” I sighed.   
“She just needs time. I’m sure all of this is far different from whatever she had at Alexandria. Besides, this is the first time she’s on her own.” Lacey shrugged.   
“Maybe. Doesn’t seem fucking likely she’ll be looking my way any time soon.” I said.   
“You don’t know what’s going through her mind. Don’t torture yourself so much. I mean maybe just a little.” Lacey smiled. I wondered why I didn’t feel the same way for Lacey I did for Mary.   
“Right...well you going to suck this dick or…?” I deflected.   
“Oh and there goes the nice moment.” Lacey laughed.   
“I’ll fucking show you a nice moment.” I growled pulling her onto my lap. There was a knock at the door.   
“Oh shit! I thought she’d take longer to eat. Fuck.” I mentally smacked myself for being such a fucking dipshit.   
“I’ll go. It’s fine.” Lacey said putting her hands up.   
“No! You can’t go out there, she’ll see you. Fuck. Just...I’m sorry sweetness, hide in the bathroom.” I said feeling shitty about it. I didn’t want to hide her, but I knew Mary would be furious if she saw Lacey. Lacey gave me a look and sighed looking at the ground.   
“This one time, I will hide in the bathroom. You owe me, I fucking swear Negan.” She threw her hands up and walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I owed her big time. I ran to the door and opened it.   
“Mary, fucking took your time. Get in here.” I said ushering her in. She looked annoyed already.   
“Sorry, I ate as fast as I could. Laura said you needed to see me.” She said sitting in a chair.  
“Yeah. I wanted to check in. See if you were doing okay.” I said sitting across from her.   
“I’m fine. I’m working and training. I keep up.” She said.   
“Good to fucking here. I don’t fucking like slackers. Listen, I thought maybe we could have a fucking adult conversation about what happened the other day.” I sighed.   
“About your harem?” She spat.   
“I suppose you could say that.” I gritted my teeth.   
“Look, there isn’t a society anymore. You want twenty wives, have at it. It’s not my business.” She said crossing her arms. Fuck she was going to make my life hell.   
“Well, listen Doll. I take care of my wives. It’s not that fucking crazy okay? Those ladies needed my help, so I gave them my help.” I spat.   
“But you have sex with them. That’s how you help them?” She scoffed.   
“For your goddamn fucking information, I don’t sleep with all of them. I have wives that I don’t fuck. I respect their wishes. But hell yeah I screw some of my wives. The ones that are fucking down to clown. Hell fucking yeah! There isn’t anything wrong with that!” I yelled.   
“You better respect them. I don’t like women being taken advantage of.” She growled.   
“Is that a fucking threat again? I don’t take advantage of women. That shit is a no go around here. Straight up death.” I said, face red with rage.   
“Don’t think that makes you a hero.”  
“Never fucking said that did I Doll?”  
“You’re an asshole.” She shook her head.   
“Hell yeah. Never denied that one. But you still made out with me. Knowing full motherfucking well that I am an asshole.” I smiled. She looked at me with wide eyes.   
“I...I…”  
“Did I just make you speechless? Oh I expected a bigger fight from you.” I chuckled.   
“I won’t give you the satisfaction.” She growled standing up.   
“Oh please. That look in your eye is telling me you’re loving this just as much as I am.” I got to my feet and walked over to her.   
“Now, Doll, what’s your next move?” I asked, leaning in close. She looked up at me with wide eyes and a furrowed brow. Clearly she was having an internal struggle.   
“Well?” I growled looking her directly in the eye. She looked like she might slap me, but I was taken by surprise when she pulled me down to her lips. She ran her hand threw my hair, grabbing on as we clashed tongues. I ran my hands down to rest on her hips, pulling her into me. Her fists balled up my leather jacket. I let one hand slither down and grab her ass before she pulled away breathless.   
“No! I...no. This won’t happen!” She yelled at me and stormed out.   
“What...the...fuck…?” I whispered. As soon as the door slammed shut Lacey came walking out of the bathroom.   
“You two are fucked up.” She said, arms crossed and her head shaking.  
“Well, I can certainly fucking see that.” I sighed.   
“You want me to take care of that?” She asked pointing to my jeans.   
“Isn’t that why you came here in the first place?” I chuckled.   
“Yeah, but we’re doing it my way this time. You owe me remember?” She had a wicked smile.   
“Well fuck. I don’t if I should be scared shitless or even more turned on. But fuck if that didn’t make my dick even harder. Could cut glass with this beauty.” I smiled.   
“Always the charmer.” Lacey said sauntering over to me. The memory of Mary’s lips on my was still fresh, her face flashed through my vision as Lacey kissed me.


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary meets the wives.

I hadn’t slept at all last night. All I could do was think of him. Think of Negan and the way he tasted, the way he smelled. It drove me crazy. I didn’t know what I wanted and it annoyed me. I groggily walked to the cafeteria. I sighed as they poured globs of food onto my tray and went to sit at a table by myself. I needed to think. I needed to figure my shit out. I started eating when I saw someone sit next to me out of the corner of my eye. I looked up to see Lacey. The room had hushed. I had been told that there wasn’t really a hierarchy with his wives, but Lacey was definitely the number one.   
“Mary, right?” She asked with a bright smile.   
“I..um...yes.” I stuttered out. She was much prettier than I had anticipated.   
“I’m Lacey. Negan told me about you. Said you might need a break. I offered to bring you up to our room. Have a girl’s night.” She said, her voice light,, yet commanding.   
“I… that’s nice of you, but I thought I had more training to do today.” I said.   
“Nope. Negan thinks you’re ready. He’s giving you the day off and I’m not taking no for an answer. Come on, it’ll be fun! When was the last time you had a girl’s night? Just sat around and did stupid shit?” She asked with a laugh.   
“I have no idea. Not since before that’s for sure.” I smiled.   
“Then it’s settled! Meet me upstairs when you’ve finished eating. One of the girls used to be a beautician, she can do your nails for you! It’ll fun!” She said bouncing out of her chair and bounding out of the room. Every eye was on her as she left. Part of me wanted to believe that this was just good intentioned, but another part thought this might be more of a spy mission for Negan. I had to be careful.   
I walked down the halls to the room with big double doors. There was light streaming from under the door and laughter and music could be heard. A room full of women had never been so terrifying. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Lacey swung the door open with a wide smile.   
“Mary! Come on in!” She yelled. I gave her a smile and walked in. The room was lavish to say the least, even by pre-apocalypse standards. There were about ten or so women in different groups chatting and laughing.   
“Everyone! Hey! This is Mary! She’s new so be nice.”She said as someone paused the music.   
“Are you a new wife?” A girl with long blonde hair asked.   
“No. I’m not a wife.” I said. They all looked a bit confused.   
“A lady Savior. I like it!” Said a woman with black curls and dark skin as she came over.   
“My name is Angela. Number two, I could see you wondering.” She smiled.   
“It circulates.” Lacey chuckled.   
“But we’re always on top.” Angela said in a proud whisper. The two giggled. I forced a smile. I had never been so uncomfortable in my life.   
“What do you like to drink? You name it we got it!” Lacey said as she lead me over to the bar.   
“Oh. I...I don’t know.” I said, my brow furrowing.   
“Wait...are you saying you’ve never had alcohol before?” Angela asked as she sat at the stool at the bar.   
“I don’t think so. I was underage before the shit hit the fan. Never really had the chance.” I shrugged, realizing another thing I’d missed out on because the world ended.   
“When’s your birthday?” Angela asked.   
“September 2nd 1994.” I told them.   
“So you’re twenty-two? You never got to have a twenty-first! That’s bullshit.” She chuckled.   
“Well that settles it, we’re throwing you a proper twenty-first birthday party!” Lacey cheered.   
“What? Oh no, you don’t need to do that.” I protested.   
“Nonsense! Every girl should have one! Jasmine! Go through the closet, I think we might still have that karaoke machine.” She instructed. A girl jumped up with a big smile and ran off.   
“Oh this will be so much fun! We should get you properly dolled up too! Come on!” Angela said as she grabbed my hand and lead me into another room, followed by Lacey. The room was painted a seafoam green color, the bed was large but didn’t take up much of the room. There were chairs and a vanity all of which was a deep green, including the bedding. Angela pulled me over to the closet.   
“Let’s see what I have in here.” She said digging through her clothes.   
“Something to show off that figure for sure.” Lacey said as she dived in too. I stood, unsure of what to do. Did they actually just want me to have fun? Why did that seem like such a far fetched idea to me?   
“Oh! This one?” Angela pulled a dress up and Lacey examined it.   
“Yeah, I think that’s the one.” She smiled as they handed it to me. I held the soft fabric in my hands and looked at it.   
“Oh! We’ll turn around. Sorry!” Lacey giggled as she and Angela turned to give me some privacy. I squeezed into the tight dress. It was royal blue and hugged the few curves I had, it showed off my breasts which I was not accustomed to.   
“I’m dressed.” I said crossing my arms in front of me. They turned and smiled.   
“Don’t be so shy. Show it off, you look great!” Angela said pulling my arms to my sides.   
“I’m just...I’ve never worn anything like this.” I gave a nervous laugh. They looked at me confused.   
“A nice dress?” Lacey asked.   
“Well...yeah.” I said.   
“How old were you when it all went down?” Lacey asked.  
“Probably around fifteen.” I said.   
“You didn’t get a prom either. Shit...that sucks.” Angela sighed. Lacey turned and left the room for a minute and came back in.   
“A combination twenty- first birthday and a prom. This’ll be one hell of a night.” Lacey squealed clapping her hands.   
“Let’s fix your hair.” Angela said putting me in a chair in front of the vanity. She started brushing my long brunette hair.   
“Why do you seem so nervous?” She asked.   
“I...I’m not used to people being nice to be just to be nice.” I told her maybe a little more cold than I had intended.   
“Oh. I see. You think that Negan sent me for his own gain. It’s fine. I totally understand.” Lacey said putting a hand on my shoulder.  
“There is one rule that will always be followed in our room. Women stick together. We don’t rat on each other, we don’t hate on each other. Well, we try not to hate on each other. But we don’t do anything we don’t feel comfortable with and if Negan doesn’t like that, we stick together. No one in these quarters is going to give him any info on you. He did suggest that I show you a good time. Help you relax a little. But I did it of my own volition. I wanted to help you have some fun. You can relax in here. We’re your friends first, his wives second. Even though he hates that.” Lacey giggled. I looked up at her stunned. She seemed so commanding. Like she was the protector of the wives, she made sure they were safe and taken care of. Did that now include me?  
“Um...thank you.” I squeaked.   
“You ever get a makeover?” Angela asked looking at me in the mirror.   
“No. I’ve never worn makeup.” I said. Her and Lacey exchanged a look and practically started dancing.   
“This is going to be so much fun!” Angela cheered. Lacey giddily ran out of the room.   
“So, I don’t mean to be weird or rude or anything, but is what she said true?” I asked Angela as she started pinning my hair up.   
“Oh yeah, absolutely. Her and Negan have gone toe to toe I don’t even know how many times. He wants info on things and she refuses him. He’s asked us to do some spying, none of do it. That pisses him off, but Lacey is always there to shut him down. He has a soft spot for her. I’ve done it too, but I was never the most commanding person.” Angela smiled.   
“Okay. Good to know.” I said.   
“Where did you get your hair? Mom or Dad? It’s gorgeous!” Angela said.   
“Both my parents have brown hair, but I think it’s more my mom’s than dad’s.” I smiled.   
“Your mom must have been stunning.” She gave my shoulder a squeeze.   
“She was. She really was.” I sighed at the memory of my mother.   
“Your dad still around?” She asked.   
“Um...he is. We don’t...we don’t have a great relationship. That’s why I’m here.” I told her.   
“Oh, you’re the girl from Alexandria? Negan was telling me about you a while back. He came back in a fit of rage after your dad smacked you. I’ve never seen him that mad before. Thought he was going to tear the place down.” She chuckled.   
“He only did it the one time.” I said clearing my throat.   
“One time is one too many in my book and Negan’s.” She said as she finished pinning up my hair.   
“There! Hair, check.” She smiled looking at my hair and admiring her work. It was pinned in a simple chiffon, something I could never do.   
“Wow, it looks amazing. I could never even attempted this. Thanks.” I laughed. Lacey came bounding into the room with bags in her hands.   
“A couple of the girls and I learned how to make some makeup so we aren’t putting rotting shit on our face. Okay, no looking until after. Part of the whole makeover experience is the big reveal.” She said moving my chair so I wasn’t facing the mirror.   
“Just relax. I’ve done this more times than I can count.” Lacey said, sensing my nervousness at being poked in the face multiple times.   
“She is the best here. Steadiest hands in the place.” Angela laughed as she sat on the bed. Lacey started putting globs of various colors on my face. I just watched as her face would contort and her brow furrow as she concentrated. About thirty minutes later she stepped back and smiled.  
“I think that’s good.” She said crossing her arms with a smug smile.   
“Shit. You look great. Not that you didn’t before.” Angela laughed.   
“Go ahead. Take a look.” Lacey said gesturing to the mirror. I turned in my chair and was taken back by what I saw in the mirror. It was my face, but it wasn’t. I’d never seen it like this. I never knew my lashes were so long. I was comfortable in my skin for the most part. But I did like how I looked. I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the emotion creeping up.   
“Wow. I...um...thank you.” I mumbled.  
“They should be set up out there. Let’s go party!” Lacey cheered. I looked at them confused.   
“Set up? What does that mean?” I questioned.   
“Lacey loves a good party. Come on.” Angela said dragging me out of my chair. I padded behind them in my bare feet. I walked out into the main sitting room and it was now covered in streamers and a disco ball was hanging from the ceiling.   
“I...what?” I stuttered. How did they have all this stuff.   
“It’s not a perfect setting for prom or a birthday party, but it’s better than most nowadays.” Lacey beamed.   
“Let’s get her fucked up!” Angela laughed as she dragged me to the bar.   
“We should go easy on her. It’s her first time.” Lacey said.   
“I’ll go easy. How about vodka soda? Simple, to the point.” She said mixing the drink and handing it to me. I tentatively took the drink and sipped it. I tried not to cough but couldn’t stop it as the alcohol burned my throat.   
“Aw, you’ll get used to it.” Lacey laughed as she patted my back. I drank more and it went down smoother.   
“There ya go!” She smiled.   
“Let’s get that karaoke machine going!” Angela yelled. I watched as she grabbed the mic and started singing, or maybe screaming is a better word, the words to ‘hit me baby one more time.’ I couldn’t help but giggle as she danced around to the song and did a terrible Britney impersonation. Maybe I could relax a little.   
I was four vodka sodas in when I found myself screaming the lyrics to ‘Wannabe’ by the spice girls, a favorite from my childhood. I stumbled towards the bar stools and plopped down.   
“That was really good! You’re a natural!” Lacey giggled next to me.   
“We should take our shit on the road!” Angela laughed as she poured herself another drink.   
“I’m sure there would be loads of people to see us.” I said causing us all to laugh.   
“Can I ask you a question? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. Why did you come here if you still have family in Alexandria?” Angela asked sipping her drink.   
“Oh. I needed to learn to be by myself, I think. I don’t think I know who I am anymore. Thought being on my own finally would help. I tried being there with my family, but they kept making choices I couldn’t defend anymore. I had to take care of myself. And Negan…...he was persuasive.” I said sipping my drink to hide the smile that was creeping up.   
“Oh boy do we know that.” Lacey and Angela laughed.   
“Not many women would do that. Go off on your own, try to find yourself, take care of yourself. We forget to do that. Your one badass lady in my book.” Angela said clinking her glass to mine.   
“Okay! On a lighter note! It is tradition here, that on your birthday Angela makes her world famous birthday shots!” lacey cheered, Angela gave a shout and started mixing. All the girls came over to the bar as Angela lined up the shot glasses on the bar and poured out a green liquid. I was going to ask what was in it, but thought better of it.   
“So, I know it’s technically not your birthday, but you get the song anyway!” Lacey yelled and they all started singing, more like yelling, happy birthday. They finished and handed me a shot and I tossed it back and slammed the glass on the counter, raising my hands in triumph as I swallowed the burning liquid. The room erupted into cheers as they all took their shots along with more cheers. I couldn’t help but laugh. It was like the movies. Suddenly the door slammed open and in walked Negan and Simon looking confused.   
“What in the fucking hell is going on in here?” He asked looking over to us.   
“We could hear you all fucking screaming from outside!” He said. Lacey pushed her way to the front of the girls, her smile still beaming.   
“Well, it was Mary’s day off. I said I was going to show her a good time, I meant it.” She said, her words slurring a bit.   
“I get a good time, but is with the fucking streamers and disco ball?” He sighed. Simon was trying to stifle his own laughter.   
“Okay, so, we were talking to Mary right? And we asked her what she wanted to drink and then she said she didn’t know! So we were like, oh shit you never had a twenty-first! So we decided to throw her a birthday party! And we went to get her all dolled up for the night and THEN she said she never got a prom! So we decided to throw her a joint birthday-prom party!” Lacey giggled as she raised her hands above her head. Negan looked at her like she was insane for a moment.   
“Seriously?” He said with a sigh. “Well, I guess I can’t get pissed about this then.” He shook his head with a laugh.   
“Is it even her birthday? Where the hell is she?” He said.   
“Oh my gosh! Wait till you see her! I did a great job, so did Angela!” Lacey jumped up and down as she ran over and pulled me out of the bunch of girls and towards Negan. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows.   
“Well fucking fuck me.” He said crossing his arms.   
“It’s not my birthday. It’s in september. But they wanted to be nice. I went with it.” I said suddenly feeling self conscious and crossing my arms around myself.   
“Don’t get all shy on my sweetheart. You aren’t shy, you showed me that already.” He chuckled.   
“Don’t be so crude.” I sighed.   
“You had your dance yet?” He asked.   
“My dance?” I questioned.   
“Yeah. Ya know there is usually dancing at proms and birthday parties.” He smiled.   
“She hasn’t! She most certainly hasn’t!” Angela yelled from the bar with a wicked smile on her face. I turned and shot her a look.   
“Lacey go put something on.” Negan said. Lacey giggled and ran over to the stereo. A soft piano started filling the room.   
“May I?” Negan asked putting his hand out. I didn’t think twice, I took his hand in mine. He wrapped a hand around my waist and pulled me in close. I saw Simon walk over and take Lacey into his arms for the dance.   
“Aren’t you going to get pissed at Simon for dancing with Lacey?” I asked looking up at him.   
“Nah. He knows the boundaries, so does she. A little dancing won’t hurt. Plus it’s prom apparently. Can’t say no to dancing at prom.” He smiled down at me as we swayed to the music. Ingrid michaelson's voice filled the room as she sang ‘Can’t help falling in love.’ Maybe it was the alcohol taking effect, but it felt nice to be in his arms. He was strong, but he was being so gentle.   
“Ya know if I had known this was happening, I would have been a proper gentleman. Brought you flowers, walked to the dance, held your nonexistent shoes, the whole damn thing.” He smiled.   
“Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t. I kill flowers. Never had a green thumb.” I giggled.   
“That so? Maybe I’ll find you some of those fake ones. Keep your room pretty.” He smiled.   
“That’d be nice. I can put them by my window. It won’t seem so drab.” I sighed.   
“All you had to do was ask. I’ll get you whatever you need to make you feel better, Doll.” He said. I nodded and lean into him, putting my head on his chest. I felt his arms tighten around me as we kept swaying to the song. I listened to his heartbeat. Something felt right about this. It felt right, being in his arms. We were shocked back to the real world when a loud, more upbeat song came on. I looked up at him as my arms fell away, as did his.   
“Thanks. That was nice. You didn’t have to, but thank you.” I stuttered.   
“Of course I did. Leave a beautiful lady without a dance partner? Not in a million years Doll.” He chuckled. I kept eye contact, our bodies only inches apart still.   
“Stay, if you want. It’s party afterall.” I smiled.   
“Wish I could Doll, but we have an inspection to do. If you’re still raging when we’re done, I’ll be here.” He smiled.   
“Simon get your hand off Lacey’s ass, Lacey get your hand off his ass! We have work to do. Let the ladies party.” He said grabbing Simon by the collar and leaving. I walked over to the bar grabbed another shot.   
“That was steamy from over here.” Angela laughed as she continued to mix drinks.  
“No. It was...it wasn’t...he was….oh god I’m screwed.” I sighed putting my face in my hands.   
“Negan does that to people. Ya know he’s good to us. It won’t be such a bad thing for you to give into your feelings.” Lacey said.   
“He killed two my friends and took my best friend captive. I can’t just give in to some like that.” I said shaking my head.   
“Well you’re people aren’t so great from what I’ve heard.” Lacey said.   
“Lacey! She gets petty when she’s drunk.” Angela sighed.   
“No! She’s right! They aren’t! We’ve done terrible things too! I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” I sighed. Angela pushed another shot towards me.   
“Don’t worry about it now. Just drink. It’s a party!” She laughed. I took the shot and giggled.   
I had no idea what time it was, I didn’t care that I probably had to work in the morning. I was having fun for the first time in years! These ladies were my friends now! We were all dancing to some old Shaggy song and laughing. Our bodies jumping up and down and grinding on each other. None of us heard the door open. My hair had fallen out ages ago and it danced on my shoulders and stuck to the sweat. I looked over and saw Negan standing, watching me as I danced. I stumbled out of the group and over to him.   
“You...you came back!” I giggled.   
“Haha...I’m a man of my word. You ladies look like you are having one hell of a time!” He laughed.   
“Oh yeah! They’re great! They are so nice to me. It’s so nice.” I mumbled.   
“I bet.” He chuckled as he caught me as I stumbled forward.   
“Whoops! Sorry!” I giggled as I grabbed onto him. I looked up at him and his smile. I ran my hand up his chest and to the back of his neck as I pulled him into a kiss. It was sloppy and not as good as our other kisses, but it was still great. I pulled away, out of breath and looked up at him.   
“Take me to your room.” I demanded.   
“Yeah. Absolutely.” He said grabbing my hand and leading me from the loud room, down the hall into his. He closed the door and I was on him again, pulling him as deep into the kiss as possible. He picked me up in his arms and put on the bed, never breaking the kiss. I started fumbling with his belt, ripping it off and throwing it on the floor, when he suddenly pulled away.   
“Goddamn it.” He sighed as he got off me. I sat up looking at him confused.   
“W-what?” I asked as he put his head in his hands.   
“You have no idea how much I have wanted this moment to happen. For fucking weeks! But….I can’t.” He said through gritted teeth.   
“What!? Why!?” I demanded.   
“It’s not right! You’re not...you’re drunk. It’s not right.” He said standing up and buttoning his pants.   
“But...I said I wanted this! I want this!” I yelled standing in front of him.   
“Maybe you really do. But I can’t be sure it’s you or the alcohol.” He said.   
“Is-is it the...the makeup? You don’t like it? I can wash it off.” I said trying to keep my eyes from tearing up.   
“No! Doll, you look amazing with or without the makeup. It’s just not right. I do still have a few morals.” He said.   
“Right. Fine.” I said wiping my eyes with my arm.   
“Look, I want to, I really fucking want to. I’m taking you back to your room. You need to get some fucking sleep.” He said reaching for my hand.   
“No! I-I can go back my-myself!” I yelled and stormed out of his room. I ran down the halls, my head lowered as I tried to hide the tears. I got into my room, locked the door and fell onto my bed and started sobbing into my pillow. What was I even doing?


	7. Ch 7

Negan’s POV

It’s been three days since the party. Three whole days and I haven’t seen a sign of Mary. Simon and Laura were keeping tabs on her. Every time I’d try and talk with her she’d be locked up in her room and refuse to answer. I was trying to be a good guy dammit! She was pissed as hell and who knew when she’d stop.   
“She needs space.” Lacey’s voice broke me from my thoughts and I turned to face her.   
“It’s been three days. How much space could she need. I just want to talk with her. Can you please just fucking convince her to talk with me?” I sighed.   
“She’ll talk when she’s ready. She’s embarrassed. She needs to feel confident in herself again.” Lacey told me.   
“Embarrassed? What the fuck does she need to be embarrassed about?” I asked.   
“You of all people should know how hard it’s been, dealing with her feelings for you. She finally let herself feel them and you said no. She was vulnerable and it stings when someone tells you no in that situation.” She said.   
“I only said no because she was drunk as shit. I didn’t want her to feel taken advantage of. I was being a good guy. Now I’m being punished? How is that fucking right?” I sighed as I walked into my room.   
“Never said it was fair. But she isn’t in the wrong either. She’s still young, Negan. Everything hurts more when you’re young.” Lacey said as she moved to sit on the bed.   
“I didn’t want to hurt her. I wanted to fuck her so bad, Lacey, I have never been that hard in my damn life! She left and I had to stand in the shower jerking off for at least thirty minutes.Damn.” I sat next to her on the bed, head in my hands.   
“It’ll work itself out eventually. You’re just going to try and be patient for once.” She said rubbing her hands on my back.   
“Because I real fucking good at that.” I snorted. 

Mary’s POV

I couldn’t believe what I’d let myself do that night. Let myself be so sloppy, so needy. Negan was being a gentleman. It was a first for me, I’d never seen him like that. I couldn’t bring myself to see him or listen to him. I was hurt and I knew it was my fault.   
I was walking to the cafeteria, not paying attention, keeping my eyes on the ground when I bumped into someone. I looked up to see Lacey smiling back at me.   
“Just the lady I was looking for.” She said.   
“What can I do for you?” I asked.   
“I just wanted to see how you were doing. Negan’s been asking about you. I just thought you should know.” She said.   
“Oh. I see. Well, I’m fine. Just thinking.” I said clearing my throat.   
“Look, it’s not my business or my place, but he really just wants to talk. He’s starting to think he hurt you beyond repair. Honestly, I’ve never seen him this concerned about another human, besides Simon.” Lacey said. It struck a nerve. I didn’t want him feeling bad about it. He did do the right thing. But I knew if I saw him again, I’d be flooded with embarrassment.  
“I’ll let him talk the next time I see him.” I said and rushed off. That night had gone so well. It was the most fun I’d had in years. I felt normal for the first time too. Every time I’d let my mind wander back to that night it’d start out nice. I’d remember the laughter and singing and then I’d wander back to the feeling of Negan’s arms around me. His smell was so sweet, but it’d be ripped apart as he said no and the embarrassment and shame would envelope me.   
I walked back to my room after dinner, still pondering what I’d do if I saw him. I stopped at the end of the hall, just a few feet from my door that Negan was now leaning against and knocking on as he spoke.   
“Mary...please. I just want to talk. I need you to know you didn’t do anything wrong.” He said.   
“I know that.” I said as I walked up to him. He jumped at the sound of my voice and stood up straight.   
“Oh. Well, fucking good thing then.” He said clearing his throat.   
“What do you want to talk about then?” I asked opening my door and letting him in. I sat on the bed and looked up at him.   
“I haven’t seen you in three fucking days. I just wanted to see you. Make sure you were okay. I mean, everybody’s twenty-first ends in a shit storm. You should count yourself lucky it ended so well.” He smiled.   
“You’re saying it ended badly. At least we can agree on that.” I shrugged.   
“I want you to know that I wanted to that night. But I knew you wouldn’t feel so good the next morning. I didn’t want you to go through that.” He said moving closer to me.   
“I appreciate what you did for me. And you’re right. I would have regretted it happening like that.” I said.   
“Right. Well, I was thinking we could have dinner together tomorrow. Talk some more, get to know each other.” He smiled.   
“What? No. I won’t have dinner with you.” I said fidgeting on the bed.   
“Why the fuck not? You said you would have regretted it happening like that. Well, let me treat you right.” He said.   
“No. I can’t. I don’t know if I love you and I promised myself that the f….that I would only have sex with someone I cared deeply for.” I cleared my throat, hoping he didn’t notice my slip up.   
“Whoa….hold the fuck up. You were going to say first time. You’re virgin. Shit. That is some interesting damn information.” He said with a wicked smile.   
“I haven’t had a lot of time to fuck around since the world ended.” I snapped.   
“No. Too busy being a badass. Look, this doesn’t change how I feel about you. I guess I’ll just have to try and woo you.” He chuckled.   
“You really don’t give up.” I shook my head.   
“Thought you knew that darlin’. Don’t act like you don’t like me. You know you do and I would make your first time fucking magical as fucking hell.” He said standing over me, making me look up at him.   
“That’s not your decision to make. I choose who I sleep with. Maybe it won’t be you.” I smirked.   
“Oh don’t do that baby. Making me jealous...never ends well.” He growled as he leaned down to cup my face with one hand, running his thumb along my jawline.   
“You should mind your temper then. Fire only makes the world burn.” I glared up at him.   
“You would know. I see that fire in your eyes now. You look like you might kill me or fuck me right now. Tell me Mary, which is it?” He smirked. I didn’t know myself. Part of me wanted to slap him, part of me wanted to grab hold of him and kiss him.   
“Oh...you can’t figure it out. Alright. I’ll leave you to think then.” He straightened himself, I found I was disappointed when he did.   
“Get some rest. We have a run to Alexandria tomorrow. Pay a visit to dear old papa Rick.” He laughed and left. Shit. What was that going to be like? How were they going to look at me? How was I even going to look them in the eye?


	8. Ch 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary's first trip back to Alexandria doesn't go smoothly.

Mary’s POV

The truck sped down the abandoned road, trees becoming a blur as I stared out the window. I could feel my heart beating fast in my chest. We were on our way to Alexandria. I had thought about saying no, about just staying back. Something told me I needed to do this. I needed to face them.   
“Listen, Doll. If you need to just sit in the truck that’s fine. This isn’t going to be comfortable.” Negan said.   
“I’m a big girl. I can handle them.” I said, perhaps trying to convince myself that what I said was true.   
“Of course you are. You just say the word and I get you the fuck out there.” He told me, his hand resting on my shoulder. The trucks pulled up to the gates of Alexandria. I watched Aaron open the gates and we drove in. For a moment I thought maybe Rick was out on a run, that we wouldn’t have to see each other. But as I climbed out of the truck I saw him and Carl walking toward us. Negan hopped out and got in front of me, before Rick could say anything.   
“You better have something nice for us Rick. Last we came, you were a little light.” Negan said as Rick came up to him.   
“We did our best.” Rick said, jaw clenched.   
“Let’s hope that’s good enough. Simon! Get started.” Negan yelled. Simon and the Saviors started going through everything.   
“Mary? Mary can we talk? Please.” Rick looked at me pleading.   
“I just...I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I told him looking at the ground.   
“I..Are you alright? You’re doing alright?” He asked, his eyes begging for me to give him something.   
“I’m alright. I’m doing fine.” I told him.   
“She’s doing fucking great with us, Rick! She’s one of my best people! Kicking ass, taking names!” Negan smiled.   
“How can you be okay with this? How can you be okay with him?” Carl growled. I looked up at him, the venom in his voice surprised me.   
“How can you be okay with what Dad’s done?” I spat back.   
“We never take from people.” He said getting closer.   
“Yes we have. We took this place. Said if they didn’t give it, we’d kill them and take it ourselves. Or did you just conveniently forget that conversation?” I growled.   
“You know this is wrong. Just...go. Just go back and be his new whore!” Carl yelled. It hit me like a ton of bricks, I stumbled back. I had never thought he’d talk to me like that.   
“Enough! That is my fucking line kid! Do not go over it again!” Negan yelled as he got between Carl and I.   
“Rein in your damn son, Rick. Or do you think that is fucking alright for him to talk to her like that?” Negan said, fire in his eyes.   
“Go back to the house Carl. We’ll talk about this later.” Rick said. Carl huffed as he went back to the house. She could tell, Rick had the same thought. That she was just one of his whores. Carl wasn’t getting reprimanded.   
“We’ve got everything Boss. Aaron here, was very helpful. But they didn’t have much.” Simon said an arm wrapped around a stiff and clearly nervous.  
“I just want everything to go smoothly. For everyone.” Aaron said. Simon laughed and squeezed his shoulders.   
“Your cooperation will be remembered for next time.” Simon smiled and walked back. I walked over to Aaron and hugged him.   
“Thank you. They need someone level headed.” I told him.   
“I know. I always have to be the voice of reason.” He smiled.   
“You’re just so damn good at it.” We laughed and he wrapped me up in his arms.   
“Make sure you look out for yourself. We only want to know you’re safe. Maybe this is the safest option for you. I don’t know. But, just know that you still have family here.” He said letting go. I nodded, unable to speak. I walked back over to Negan.   
“You alright, Doll?” He asked putting a hand on the small of my back.  
“Yeah. We’re done right?” I asked clearing my throat.   
“Yeah, we’re done. We loaded up Simon?” Negan called.   
“Pretty much, just a few boxes left.” Simon told him. I turned to see Daryl in the guard tower. He was looking at me, shook his head. I watched as he lifted his gun and aimed. I don’t know what came over me in that split second. My only thought was Negan. He was going to shoot Negan, and I didn’t want that to happen. I pushed him back, holding onto his arms as I stood in front of him. A gunshot rang out. There was silence for a moment, but the red started seeping through my shirt.   
“...Mary?” Negan whispered, holding onto me. I opened my mouth to talk, but no sound came. My knees gave out under me, Negan caught me. I looked over to see the horrified expression on Daryl’s face. He hadn’t expected me to jump in front of the bullet. Aaron had his hands over his mouth. Rick started for me, but the Saviors stopped him.   
“Mary! Mary! Let me go! She’s my daughter! Let me go!” I heard Rick scream. Negan looked at me with panic in his eyes.   
“We’ll get you back. You’ll be fine.” He said. I nodded.   
“I know first aid. Let me ride with you. Let me help her.” Aaron said. Negan looked up at him and then to Simon.  
“Fine. Help me get her to the truck.” Negan growled and lifted me in his arms, it sent a shockwave of pain through my body causing me to whimper. He laid me down in the back of the truck and Aaron climbed in next to me.   
“ You’re going to pay for this! You hear me fucker!!!” Negan screamed to Daryl and jumped back in the truck. Aaron was trying to assess the wound.   
“We have to try and stop the bleeding.” He said. He took off his jacket and pressed it firmly to my wound, making me scream as the pain became unbearable. Negan grabbed hold of my hand stroked my hair.  
“I’m sorry, Doll. I’m really fucking sorry. I’m right here.” He said, over and over again. I tried to speak, to say anything, but I couldn’t. My vision blurred and I couldn’t fight it anymore. Everything went black. 

Negan’s POV

I should have seen this coming. I should have known those fucks would try something. I just never thought she’d jump in front of a damn bullet for me. Shit, I didn’t think she liked me that much. I was burning with rage. That motherfucker would pay.   
“Mary? Mary, babe stay with me. You have to stay with me!” I pleaded as her eyes closed.   
“You’re stronger than me. Put your hands on the wound and press down. Let’s hope she passed out from the pain.” The new fuck, what was his stupid name? Aaron. Aaron said. I put y hands over her stomach and pressed down.   
“Simon step on it you fuck!!” I yelled and felt the truck speed up.   
“How far away is it? How long?” Aaron asked.   
“The way Simon is driving? Maybe twenty minutes. I don’t fucking know.” I said shaking my head.   
“Where the fuck did he get a gun? Where did the prick get a gun and how many do you have?” I growled looking at the man. His eyes wide with concern.   
“They’ve been scavenging for weapons and ammo. No one knew this was happening. Daryl has been a shut in since he came back. He won’t talk to anyone. He planned this alone.” Aaron said, there was a tinge of anger to his voice that made me believe him.   
“This won’t end well for him. You know that.” I said. Aaron nodded.   
We pulled into the Sanctuary and I grabbed her in my arms as he burst out of the truck. Simon and Aaron running behind me as we made our way to the infirmary. I kicked the door in, Carson nearly fell out of his chair. I put Mary on the table, she groaned and her head lolled back and forth.   
“What happened?” Carson asked as he ran over.   
“What the fuck do you think happened!? She was shot! Fucking fix it!” I yelled.   
“We tried to stop the bleeding. I’m O positive. I can give blood.” Aaron said. Carson nodded.   
“Negan, keep pressure on the wound while I get blood from...him.” Carson said putting Aaron in a chair and sticking a needle in his arm. He instructed Simon on what to do when Aaron had give enough blood.   
“Negan, you should step outside.” Carson told me.   
“Like hell I am.” I growled. He washed his hands and put on some gloves. He cut her shirt away from the wound. He gave her a shot to try and ease the pain. He started digging around in her belly. For the first time in a long time, I thought I might throw up. He got the bullet out and started repairing everything.   
“It missed the major organs. I just have to get the bleeding under control.” He said. I felt Mary’s hand squeeze mine and my chest started to hurt. She could feel all of this. I couldn’t imagine the pain she was in. Carson fixed her up and hooked up Aaron’s blood into her arm. She looked so fragile. I’d never seen her this vulnerable. It only made the anger grow. I sat next to her bed, holding her hand. Aaron on the other side.   
“I want that fuck dead. She’ll never let that happen. But that’s what I want.” I said, not looking away from Mary.   
“I know. I don’t want him dead. I don’t usually believe in punishment the way you do, but I might in this case. He was reckless. He was stupid.” Aaron said, his voice cracking. The door opened and Lacey and Angela stood in the doorway looking over to Mary.   
“We heard...we thought it was wrong. That it was someone else. Shit…” Lacey said putting a hand over her mouth as the tears started to fall down her face.   
“Is...is she going to be okay?” Angela asked with a shaky voice as she held Lacey in her arms.   
“Don’t know. But she’s a fighter.” I said clearing my throat.   
“Lacey. Honey, it’s okay. She’ll be okay.” I got up and wrapped her in my arms and let her cry for a second. She was always so emotional. I didn’t blame her. Who wasn’t anymore?  
“I need you to do me a favor. I need you to get Aaron here some fresh clothes and take him to room 13. Just down the hall. Make sure he’s got everything he needs to clean up. Can you do that?” I looked between them.   
“Yeah. Of course.” Angela said taking Lacey from me.   
“Anything else? I can get one of the other girls down here to keep him company?” Angela offered.   
“No, that won’t be necessary. He’s not really into female company. He’s gay. Just the clothes and shower shit.” I told them. They nodded.   
“Go with them.” I told him.   
“I appreciate that, but I’d like to stay-”  
“Go. With them.” I growled. He stood silent for a minute before walking out of the room with the ladies. They left and I let out a sigh.   
“Shit. Shit, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Any of it. Just...please...come back to me.” I held her pale face in my hand, willing her to open those beautiful blues.


	9. Ch 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and Aaron are keeping watch over Mary. Aaron takes a trip to Alexandria to update Rick.

Negan’s POV

She was so fucking pale. I’d never seen a person that pale before. They had given her so much blood, but it still didn’t bring her color back. Her fingers were cold in my hand, the memories of the few kisses we’d shared were brought back, her skin warm under my touch. I wanted to go back to those moments. Really treasure them. Fuck if this woman didn’t turn me into a big sap.   
“She should heal up alright. We just have to keep her from getting an infection. So far she’s doing well. You should get some real sleep. We’ll get you when she wakes.” Carson told me.   
“I’m fine where I am. Your job is to worry about her not me.” I growled. I didn’t give a fuck if I slept or not. I wasn’t leaving her side, not when she could need me at any moment.   
“Sir? I’m sorry to interrupt, but did you want to talk about retaliation?” Simon came into the room. I felt my blood boil again as I remembered everything all over again. The sound of the gunshot, the look on her face as the pain started, the sound she made as she fell, the screaming.   
“For now I want you to make another trip to Alexandria, I want all of the guns they’ve scavenged. I want permanent guards outside their gates, no one is leaving. Let them sweat some more, worry what I’ll do to little Daryl for a while. I’m sure they’re squabbling amongst themselves as we speak.” I said, pointed and sharp.   
“I’d like to go back and update them, but if I do that can I come back? Just me, no one else.” Aaron asked. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, running a hand over my beard as I thought.   
“Fuck it, yeah. Update Rick only. Don’t fucking talk to anyone else. Not a fucking word to anyone. You inform Rick, you get back in the truck. That’s it. You got that?” I said.   
“Yes.” He gave a sharp nod.   
“Simon, I want you with him when you go. You keep their meeting to five minutes, no more.” I growled.   
“Absolutely boss. Let’s get a move on.” Simon said as he turned and left, Aaron in tow. I sighed and leaned forward, grabbing her hand in mine. I just wish she wasn’t so cold. I got up and looked through the cabinets and found an extra blanket and pulled it over her.   
“I’m fucking sorry we can’t do anything more. I’m sorry we don’t have pain meds. I’m just...sorry.” I sighed and sat back down to hold her hand.   
“Negan…” Lacey’s voice came from the doorway. I looked up at her, her eyes were red and puffy. Clearly still upset.   
“She’s doing alright. At least that’s what the Doc says.” I sighed. She walked in and stood by the end of the bed.   
“You should go get some sleep.” She said, her voice small.   
“Why is everyone so fucking goddamn worried about my sleep! I’ll fucking sleep when she’s okay.” I growled.   
“She’ll need you at your best. You can’t be at your best without sleep. Besides I want to sit with her.” She told me.   
“I ain’t stopping you.” I grumbled. She walked over and sat on my lap and held my face in her hands.   
“Go. Sleep for a few hours. She’s not going anywhere, I’ll watch her. If anything changes, I’ll come for you.” She told me. I sighed and picked her up off me as I stood.   
“Fine. Just a few hours. You don’t leave her side. You come and get me if anything changes. I mean it, anything.” I told her. She nodded and wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face in my chest before letting go and pushing me out the door. I walked back to my room, hunched over. I walked in and fell onto the bed, I was out almost instantly. 

Third Person POV

The trucks pulled up to the gates of Alexandria. Aaron watched as Tara pulled it open. She looked surprised to see him again. The trucks parked and Aaron jumped out and stood next to Simon.   
“Alright, everybody grab a buddy. We’re taking all those guns you found. I want the whole place searched, top to bottom.” He barked. The Saviors grabbed people and went about looking for weapons. Simon nodded to Aaron to follow him to Rick’s house. They stood at the door as Simon knocked. Michonne came to the door, her brow furrowed as she looked at Simon, her expression softened when she saw Aaron.   
“I need to talk to Rick.”Aaron told her. She nodded and let them in.   
“He’s...he’s upstairs. I’ll get him.” She said as she climbed the stairs. A moment later Rick came barreling down the stairs towards Aaron.   
“Aaron? Are you okay? How’s Mary?” He asked, his face red.   
“I’m fine.” Aaron said.   
“Treating you real nice over there, right?” Simon smiled. Aaron nodded.   
“Mary’s alive. The bullet missed any major organs. Their doctor patched her, but she lost a lot of blood. I gave her some, but she hasn’t woken up yet. We’re just trying to keep her from getting an infection.” Aaron told him. Rick nodded and ran a hand over his face.   
“When do they think she’ll wake up?” Michonne asked next to Rick.   
“I-”  
“Ah! You know the rules.” Simon said. Aaron gave her a sympathetic look.   
“I want to go see her. Let me go see her.” Rick pleaded.   
“No can do Rick. Aaron here, is coming back with us. That’s it. You aren’t going anywhere. We’re putting guards on you now. You just couldn’t play well with others. Now you have to be punished.” Simon told him.   
“Is...is she in pain?” Rick asked, clearing his throat.   
“Probably. No way of knowing for sure until she wakes up.” Aaron told him.   
“She...she breathin’ okay?” Came a gruff voice from the corner. Aaron turned and saw Daryl sitting on the floor looking like a mess.   
“Oh, nice to see you caring now. Don’t get too comfortable. Negan has got some big plans for you.” Simon growled.   
“Take care of her Aaron.” Rick told him. Aaron tore his glare from Daryl to look at Rick.   
“I will.” Aaron told him.   
“And we’re off. Got shit to do.” Simon said as he and Aaron left. Simon got him in the truck and looked over the haul.  
“You have been naughty! Enough for an army back here. Shame. I like a good fight, myself. Andy and his crew here are keeping watch all around your place. No funny business. They aren’t as friendly as I am.” Simon told the people gathered. He jumped in the truck and drove off, the Alexandrians looking worried and frustrated. 

Negan’s POV

I woke up and groaned as I stretched. The sun was starting to set. I had slept more than a couple of hours. I got up and headed straight to the infirmary. I walked in and saw Lacey chatting happily to Aaron.   
“She knocked Eugene right on the head in the middle of fight training. He just wouldn’t stop talking! She had enough and whacked him on the head! Everyone couldn’t stop laughing. He kept combing through his mullet trying to find blood. She would never hit him hard enough for any damage, but it was still funny.” Aaron and Lacey laughed.   
“Having a party in here?” I chimed in. Aaron jumped and shut his mouth.   
“Aaron was just telling me old stories about Mary.” Lacey smiled up at me. I nodded as I stood at the end of the bed.   
“Lacey will you do me a favor and go grab us some fucking food? Take Angela with you.” I asked with a sigh.   
“Yeah, of course.” She said getting up and wrapping her arms around my neck as she pulled me in tight.   
“That sleep did some good.” She smiled and walked off. Aaron sat looking uncomfortable.   
“You...you have how many wives?” He asked.   
“Eight. I don’t fuck all of them. Some are just wives I take care of. Give them medicine and such.” I told him as I took her hand in mine.   
“Is Mary...one?” He asked.   
“No. But not from lack of trying. She’s too stubborn.” I laughed. Aaron gave a small smile and a nod.   
“What are you going to do with Daryl?” Aaron finally asked. I sighed and looked up at him.   
“Don’t know yet. Won’t know for sure until she wakes up. She gets the final say.” I told him. He seemed surprised my by answer but accepted it. People are always surprised by my mercy. I don’t fucking get it, I’m a pretty merciful guy. Lacey and Angela came back into the room with trays of food, handing one to each of us.   
“Sorry it took so long.” Angela smiled.   
“Wasn’t sure what you liked, if you want something else just tell us honey.” Lacey said to Aaron.   
“Oh, this is great thank you. You’re too kind.” He smiled up at her as he ate.   
“Well, I know you were her friend first, but I like to think she’s mine too and you helped her. It’s the least we can do.” Lacey smiled.   
“Ya know we have a few gay men here. We could send them your way if you want. Just to have someone to talk to if you need or more, no judgement.” Angela said.   
“Oh. Oh..um no. Thank you. That’s nice, but I’m married.” Aaron smiled.   
“Pre or post?” I asked with a mouth full of food.   
“What?” Aaron asked.   
“Pre-end of the world or post, honey.” Lacey said.   
“Pre. We met about a year before. Been together ever since.” He smiled.   
“Adorable.” Lacey giggled. We finished up our food and I handed the tray to Lacey. Aaron stood and took the tray from her.   
“Please, let me.” He smiled and left.   
“I like him. He’s sweet.” Angela smiled.   
“He seems alright. But he’s not staying forever. Don’t get too comfortable with him.” I said.   
“I know, I know.” Angela waved me off.   
“You let us know if she wakes up?” Lacey asked putting her hand on my shoulder.   
“Yeah. I’ll tell you.” I said patting her hand. She smiled and her and Angela left. I sat looking at Mary, watching her breathing. I just wanted to know she was alright. Just wanted to hear her voice again. I had the overwhelming feeling of deja vu. I had been here before. Willing Lucille to open her eyes. Just wanting to hear her talk again. To smile one more time. She was always cold too. No matter what I did she was always so cold. I tried to give her my heat, get her more blankets, but she was still so cold. I would keep my eyes locked on her chest, making sure she was still breathing, still with me. I thought I wouldn’t survive losing her. I don’t think I could survive losing Mary. I can’t do it twice. I laid my head against her hand.   
“Please...please not again…” I said, my voice cracking. I felt her hand move and my head shot up. Her face scrunched up in discomfort as she opened her eyes.   
“Ow….” She sighed as she looked over to me.   
“Mary? Thank fuck you’re awake!” I smiled.   
“It’s good to see you too.” She gave a small smile and tried to sit up, but gasped and fell back down.   
“Hey, don’t you fucking move. You gotta stay laying down for a while. Stay in bed.” I told her.   
“Daryl...he shot me.” She looked confused. I sighed and looked at the floor.   
“Yeah. Well, you jumped in front of a bullet for me.” I told her.   
“I know. I was there.” She smiled.   
“Let’s agree that you never do that again. No matter fucking what.” I told her. She gave a nod.   
“I thought I was going to lose you. All I could see was that bullet taking you out. I couldn’t bear it.” She said, her eyes watering. I cupped her face with my hand.   
“Hey, it’s okay. Everything is okay. I thought I was losing you.” I told her. She looked up at me with big, scared eyes.   
“I...I’ve been so dumb. This world is shitty and everyone is shitty now. But...I feel less shitty with you. I was cruel. I’m sorry.” She said as the tears rolled down her face. I wiped them off her soft skin with my thumb.   
“I’m not the best with my emotions. I’m not a great person. I really fucking shitty. But damn if I won’t try and make you as happy as fucking possible. I’ll keep you safe, I promise you.” I told her my own voice cracking. She pulled me down into a kiss.   
“Don’t scare me like that again.” I chuckled as we broke the kiss.   
“I’ll do my best.” She smiled.   
“Mary….We gotta talk about Daryl…” I sighed.


	10. Ch 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and Mary discuss Daryl's punishment.

Mary’s POV

 

I couldn’t get Daryl’s face out of my head. The look as he realized he had missed Negan and hit me instead. I could only imagine how much he was punishing himself. I found I felt for him, I knew he’d never want to hurt me. But I was also angry that he’d try something so stupid. That he’d want to hurt Negan only made it worse.   
“He needs to be punished.” Negan said.   
“I know…” I sighed. I ran a hand over my face. I couldn’t punish him, but I wanted to. I had never felt more conflicted in my life. I felt his hand on my thigh.   
“I can’t let people think they get away with shit like this. I can’t let people think hurting you is okay. I know you don’t want him dead, even if every damn atom of my fucking being wants the fuckwad gone. But he needs to be punished.” Negan said, I could see the rage in his eyes the thought of me being hurt caused.   
“You can’t kill him. That’s all I ask. Don’t kill him.” I asked, my eyes watering. He took a deep breath and raised his hand to cup my cheek.   
“I won’t kill. I’ll just take his fucking hand with that itchy trigger finger.” He said. It made my stomach turn, but at the same time felt like the right punishment. Perhaps I was evolving with this new world.   
“I want to be there. I want him to see my face when it happens.” I said, a new found anger rising in me. He shot me. It was an accident but he understood what I felt and took the shot anyway.   
“Doll, I’m not sure that’s a great idea.” Negan said.   
“I’m going to be there.” I growled. Negan looked at me dead in the eye, a sadness was there that I hadn’t seen. He nodded.   
“You still need to heal up. We won’t go for a while, let them stew in it. Panic over what might happen.” He said. I nodded.   
“You need sleep, I’ll let you rest. Bring you breakfast in the morning.” He said as he started to get up. I pulled on his hand to stop him. I brought him down into a kiss. It felt so natural, so right, to be kissing him.   
“Goodnight.” I whispered against his lips.   
“Damn...goodnight.” He sighed as he straighten his posture and left. I sat in the room alone in the dark. It was the quietest it had ever been for me. I couldn’t even hear the moans of the dead. I slowly drifted to sleep.   
A light poured over my face, bringing me out of my sleep. I looked up to see a figure in the door.   
“Negan?” I mumbled, half asleep and still unaware of myself or my surroundings. They came closer, shutting the door behind them. Too short to be Negan. Then his eyes cleared in my vision.   
“No. What do you think you’re doing!? Get out of here!” I screamed sitting up.   
“Hey! Stop hollerin’ you’ll get me killed.” Daryl’s gruff voice sending shock waves of emotion through me.   
“You can’t be here. I don’t want you here.” I said, the tears starting to sting my eyes.   
“I know, I know. But I ain’t leavin’ till I talk with you. I have to apologizes. I needed to make sure you were alright with my own eyes.” He said, pain in his voice.   
“You...you need to leave. I can’t stop them from hurting you more than whats already coming if you’re caught.” I told him.   
“Mary...please...I’m sorry. I...I didn’t mean for this to happen. I never wanted anyone but him hurt.” He said. I took a shaky breath, the tears falling down my face.   
“You still don’t get it. I didn’t want him hurt. I...I might have real feelings for him. I do have feelings for him.” I told him. He looked at me aghast.   
“How can you feel for that asshole? He’s a murderer!” Daryl growled.   
“So are you! So is Rick! So is Michonne! So am I!” I yelled. He sat back, I wasn’t sure if he was going to cry or scream or both. I could feel the anger radiating off him.   
“You need to come home now. This ain’t funny. This ain’t good for you.” Daryl said, his voice dark and dangerous.   
“I’m not doing that. I’m here now. I’m with him now. I’m….Negan.” I said. He looked at me as though I had just punched him in the face.   
“The hell with you. I thought we were family. After all the shit we done for each other. All the shit we been through. This is what happens!? This is what you turn into!? The hell with you!!” He screamed. The door slammed open, the sudden burst of light burning my eyes. I looked up to see Negan and a few men standing in the doorway.   
“Well, look who we got fucking here.” He smiled, but his voice was raw and angry.   
“Negan, please.” I said.   
“Doll, I know. I’m not killing the fucker. But he’s going to pay. You hurt Mary, you almost killed my Mary!” Negan’s voice boomed.   
“You can have her! I’m done with her.” Daryl spat.   
“She isn’t a thing, don’t fucking talk about her like she is one.” Negan growled.   
“She ain’t a human no more. She’s one of you monsters now.” Daryl grumbled. The anger poured over Negan. He grabbed Daryl by the collar and threw him against the wall and slammed his fist into his face.   
“Negan!” I screamed. It didn’t register. He kept pounding his fist into him. He started dragging Daryl away and tried to get up. My body too weak to hold it’s own weight, I hit the floor hard. Negan turned and saw me on the floor, my nose starting to bleed. His eyes softened and he threw Daryl at Simon. Told him to take him down to a cell.   
“Mary…” He came over grabbed a towel and pressed it to my nose.   
“Please….please...Negan…” I sobbed. He wrapped me in his arms. I buried my face against his chest.   
“I won’t kill him. I’m a man of my word. I’m not going to kill him. But you can’t stop me from punishing him. I have to do this tonight. We’ll take him to back to Alexandria. Do it there.” He told me. His voice was calm, almost soothing. It would have been comforting if it weren’t for the subject he was discussing.   
“I’m...I’m going.” I said. He sighed and shook his head.   
“You need to stay here. You need to rest, heal up. You’re already upset enough. I don’t want you more upset.” He said.   
“Negan...I can’t stop you from punishing him. You can’t stop me from going.” I told him. He exhaled through his nose and gave curt nod.   
“My god…are you okay?” Aaron came rushing over, looking at my nose.   
“Fine…” I mumbled. Negan gently wiped the blood from my face and holding my head in his hand.   
“Aaron, you stay with her. You don’t leave this room until I come back. I mean it.” He told him.   
“Yes, of course.”Aaron said looking at him confused. Negan wrapped me up in his arms and picked me and put me back on the bed. He leaned down and kissed me. He looked into my eyes, as if trying to apologize but not being able to say the right words. He stood up and left.   
“What happened?” Aaron asked.   
“Daryl snuck in. He came to me, Negan found out. They fought. He’s punishing him tonight.” I said, my voice shaking.   
“What...what is going to do? Kill him?” Aaron said in a panic. I shook my head.   
“No. But it’s going to be bad.” I told him. 

Negan’s POV

I ran a hand over my face and sighed. Not how I thought tonight was going to go. Shit was going to be hard. It was going to be a long fucking night. I reached the double doors and opened them. The whole place dark, the ladies asleep. I walked to Angela’s room and knocked on the door.   
“Negan? It’s a little late...can’t you wait till tomorrow?” She whined as she opened the door with heavy eyes.   
“Not here for that. Need you to get Mary some comfortable clothes. Bring them to her in the infirmary. Don’t talk to anyone, just get her the clothes and come back and go to bed.” I told her. She looked up at me confused and worried.   
“Negan, what’s going on?” She asked timidly.   
“Nothing you need be worried about.” I told her.   
“You aren’t kicking her out. She’s too weak, she won’t survive out there!” Angela argued. I hushed her and put my hands on her shoulders.   
“I’m not kicking her out. She...she wants to go see the Alexandrians punishment. I tried to talk her out of it. All she has is jeans, I figured one of you girls would have sweatpants or pajama pants for her. A loose shirt too.” I sighed.   
“Alright. I think I got something for her. I...I should go to.” She said. I groaned and shook my head.   
“No. Absolutely not.” I said.   
“Look, you’re going to be focused on giving the punishment, you shouldn’t be distracted. It’ll make you look weak. Let me there for her. Let me take care of her.” She said crossing her arms.   
“You fucking women will be the death of me. Fuck it. Fine, you’re right. I ain’t waiting all day. Get dressed, get her dressed and tell Aaron that I want you two to bring her down to the trucks. Don’t you talk to anyone else. You do only as I say.” I barked. She nodded and went back into her room. I marched out. It was going to be really fucking long fucking night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! All feedback is great! Criticism welcome! Let me know what you guys would like to see in the future! Leave a kudos if you fancy it! Thank you again!


	11. Ch 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl gets his punishment.

Negan’s POV

I walked down to the cells. Simon was standing outside one door. I heard Daryl pounding on the door, screaming his damn head off.   
“You could have had Arat keep watch.” I told him.   
“This one is important. Figured you’d want it to be me.” He said.   
“Probably right. Get him bound. Put him in the back of the van, we’re going to Alexandria tonight. Have Arat wake up the Doc. He’s coming along.” I told Simon.   
“You got it boss. How’s Mary holding up?” He asked as he motioned for one of the men next to him to get to work on Daryl.   
“She’s a damn mess of emotions and I can’t fucking blame her. This fucker really messed with her. She’s coming too. I don’t want this to take all night so lite a fire under everyone’s ass and let’s get fucking going.” I said and turned to walk to the trucks. I got outside, the air was nice. Not too cold, just warm enough to be pleasant. I saw Angela with Aaron and Mary. They were holding her up, she looked pale and fragile. It only served to make me angrier. I walked over and saw she was shivering.   
“You didn’t get her a damn jacket?” I looked at Angela.   
“I thought the long sleeves would be enough. I think it’s all the blood she lost making her sensitive to the cold. I can grab one.” Angela said and turned to walk away, but I grabbed her.   
“No. It’s fine. We don’t have time.” I told her as I shrugged off my leather jacket and wrapped it around her.   
“You still sure about this? It isn’t going to be easy to watch.” I said.   
“I have to be there. I have to do this.” She told me. I sighed and nodded.   
“You two don’t leave her side. Not for a second.” I said looking to Aaron.   
“I won’t. She needs me.” He said. I looked him up and down before walking away. Simon came out Daryl in hand with a group of Saviors. They threw him in the back of the van and slammed the door shut. Doctor Carson came out and looked concerned at Mary.   
“She really shouldn’t be out of bed.” He said.   
“I fucking told her that. She’s too stubborn to listen. You ride in the van with Arat.” I told him. Arat came up behind him and pulled his arm towards the van.   
“Let’s get her in the truck.” I told Aaron and Angela. We got her settled in the truck and they hopped into the back. I climbed in next to her pulling her close as Simon jumped in.   
“Fast, Simon. I want it to sound like fucking thunder when we roll up. Probably don’t even know the fucker is gone yet.” I told him.   
“Absolutely. Won’t know what hit them.” He said as he stepped on the gas and sped down the road. Mary clung onto me the whole ride. Her knuckles white from her grasp. She didn’t make a sound, which I found was more heartbreaking than it should be. We came roaring up, all lights bright and horn blaring. It took them took fucking long to open the gates. We rolled in and parked.   
“You can stay in here if you changed your mind.” I told Mary.   
“I’m getting out.” She said. I jumped out and helped her out of the truck, keeping a firm hold until Aaron and Angela came up to help her. Rick and crew came running up.   
“What’s going on? It’s the middle of the night...Mary? Mary are you okay? What are you doing with her?” Rick started barking.   
“I’m keep her safe and healthy. Keeping her alive! Better than you could! You want to test me fucking further!? Try something prick!” I yelled. Rick stepped back.   
“Simon! Bring him out.” I ordered. There was a commotion until Simon and Arat dragged Daryl out to the middle of the road. Rick’s eyes went wide, there was a collective gasp from the crowd that had gathered.   
“Didn’t even know your puppy had gotten out. Sad really. This is how well you look after your people? It’s a good fucking thing Mary’s with us now.” I said watching as Rick’s eyes grew dark.   
“He...he’s an asset. We need him. Please.” Rick begged.   
“He shot your daughter!! He shot Mary! He broke into my Sanctuary! He treated her like shit! He is nothing! He is a piece of shit if I ever saw one!” I yelled inches from his face.   
“I...we were trying to figure out how to punish him. He’ll be punished…” Rick said. I scoffed, laughing at how pathetic he was.   
“Not how this is going to work. Not even a little. Simon get the fucker on the ground. Get that trigger happy motherfucker on the ground and that right arm out. Belt around it, nice and tight.” I barked. Simon forced Daryl to lay out on the ground and his arm out as he put his belt around him.   
“Please don’t do this. We’re going to jail him. We…we’ll punish him!” Rick begged.   
“Shut the fuck up! I’m done hearing you beg and grovel! It’s not fun anymore! It’s just fucking annoying!” I growled.   
“Mary...Mary please do something.” Rick said.   
“No! You don’t fucking speak to her! You don’t get to fucking speak to her! You’ve done enough to her, you don’t get to speak to her!” I screamed.   
“Axe!” I yelled. A Savior ran up and handed me an axe. I handed Lucille to Arat. I raised the Axe over my head.   
“No! Please! Let us punish him! Let us do it!” Rick begged. I swiftly brought the axe down into Daryl’s arm, chopping it off at the elbow. His screams filled the air, mixing with the gasps and sobs of the people around us.   
“This! This is what happens when you are a dumb fucking shit head motherfucker who thinks he’s hot damn shit! You try anything with us and this is what happens! Doc! Do what you can.” I barked as Carson came running over.   
“Has the message sunk in?” I asked. Rick nodded.   
“Y-yes...yes. We understand….we understand.” He stuttered. I shrugged him off and turned to Mary. She was crying. Her face glistening in the light. Angela was whispering something to her, her arms wrapped around Mary. Aaron stood horrified, but holding onto Mary still. I walked over to her and held her face in my hands.   
“It had to be done.” I told her. She nodded. She was shaking, I didn’t know if she was cold or if it was from the crying. I turned and walked over to Daryl.   
“Rick. Come over here and get down on your knees.” I told him. He looked from me to Mary and staggered over and slowly got on his knees.   
“I need to make sure the message is understood, loud and clear. You have all pushed my buttons too many times, but no one more than you. Now, I have to give you a little reminder. Something you won’t forget, ever.” I said as I took the knife from my belt. I slowly slid the blade across his cheek from his ear to his chin. Deep enough he would need stitches and it would scar.  
“You’re never going to fucking forget me.” I smiled.   
“Sir...he needs to be taken care of properly. I-I need to bring him back. His wounds need to be kept clean.” Carson said. I sighed and turned to him.   
“Not happening. You do what you can, you tell one of these fucks what to do. He stays here.” I told him.  
“B-but if he gets an infection...he’ll die.” Carson said.   
“If he dies, he fucking dies. But you’re going to make sure they know how to take fucking care of him and he won’t. Right?” I asked swinging the axe in front of him.   
“Y-yes sir.” Carson said as he finished up with Daryl. I whistled as I stood over Rick.  
“You got someone who can stitch you up?” I asked.   
“Yes.” He growled.   
“Careful...careful with that tone.” I warned.   
“Get out of here. You made you’re damn point now leave.” said a girl in a cap. She was there. She was Red’s girl.   
“Oh spitfire, you don’t order me around. The hell’s your name?” I asked her.   
“Rosita. Just go. We’ve been hurt enough.” She snarled. I smiled and moved closer to her.   
“I’ll leave when I’m damn good and ready.Ya know what would make me leave faster? You go fetch me some lemonade? Well, for Mary. Ya see, I’m worried her blood sugar is a little low.” I smiled. Rosita glared up at me, eyes filled with disdain. She let out a growl as she stomped off. I laughed and grabbed Lucille from the Savior.   
“You do this shit to yourselves. We don’t ask for much. We just have a few simple rules. Follow them and we’re fucking fantastic! Don’t and well...masturbating ain’t going to be what it used, right Daryl?” I chuckled. Rosita stomped towards the group, a bottle filled with lemonade in hand. She stalked her way over to Mary and shoved the bottle to her, it already made me pissed.   
“Drink up, coward.” She snapped. Aaron tensed up and was about to speak but Mary cut him off.   
“I’m sorry this had to happen, I’m sorry it all had to happen. But...maybe it’s payback for everything we’ve done.” She said.  
“He killed Abraham, smashed in his damn skull and you turn around and fuck him!? Now you want to say we deserved it!? You’re dumber than I thought you were.” Rosita said.   
“Watch yourself girl.” I growled.   
“Sorry, I was I too mean to your little whore.” Rosita spat.   
“Not his whore. Not anyone’s. Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.” Mary barked. Before I could stop it, Rosita grabbed Mary and slammed her to the ground. I launched myself at her, wrenching her from Mary and pinning her to the ground.   
“You stupid asshole! You fucking look at her and I’ll end you!” I screamed.   
“Arat! Take care of her! She doesn’t need those fingernails!” I growled and stood up. Aaron and Angela were helping sit Mary up. Her nose was bleeding again and she was going to have a hell of a shiner on her eye. I knelt down in front of her cupped her face in my hands.   
“I’m sorry. I should have seen it. I’m damn sorry.” I sighed and shook my head. She put her hand over mine.   
“Stop blaming yourself for others actions.” She wheezed. She fucking broke my heart. I was doing a shit job of protecting her.   
“Let’s get you home.” I said and wrapped her in my arms, picking her up.   
“Arat, finish up and get your crew back. Simon, let’s get the fuck out of this shithole.” I growled and got in the truck. 

Mary’s POV

It was more awful than I could’ve imagined. The sound of his screams echoed in my head. Everything was so different now. I never expected my life would turn into this. Watching as my family got themselves deeper and deeper into shit. I tried to warn them, tried to stop the but they never listen. My face stung from the punches Rosita threw. We never got along, but we had never fought. I clung onto Negan as Simon drove over a pothole, sending shockwaves of pain throughout my body.   
“Sorry Doll, can’t be avoided.” Negan said.   
“I know. It’s fine.” I sighed. I felt him smooth the hair on the back of my head.   
“She did a fucking number on you. Get you some pain meds when we get back.” Negan said looking over my face.   
“I deserved it. I crossed a line.” I said, tears in my eyes.   
“Doll, I never want to see you hurt.” He said.   
“I know.” I sighed and laid my head on his chest.   
“You’re not mad? I thought you’d be mad.” Negan said.   
“I feel like I should be, but I’m not. I didn’t like seeing them hurt like this. I never want to see them hurt like this. But I don’t know what will make them stop. I’ve tried everything. They don’t listen. They’re too righteous.” I said as the tears fell down my face.   
“One day they’ll see the error of their ways. One day we’ll be a big, dysfunctional as fuck, family.” Negan laughed.   
“I hope you’re right.” I sighed. My head was starting to feel fuzzy. I tried to raise it, it wobbled back and forth.   
“Simon, please pull over…” I asked, my stomach was about to rebel.   
“You okay Doll?” Negan asked, pushing the hair out of my face.   
“Just pull the damn car over!” I barked. Simon came to a stop and I jumped out and onto the grass and began vomiting.   
“Shit Doll!” Negan came running up behind me.   
“Why did we- oh god..” I heard Aaron say and Angela gasp. It was just vomit. Why was everyone freaking out. I wiped my mouth and saw red. My eyes traveled down and saw the blood.   
“Well, that’s not good…” I wheezed. I grabbed onto Negan’s arm as my knees started to buckle.   
“It’s fine. Probably something normal for this shit. Don’t worry about it.” Negan said, trying to keep me calm.   
“You’re a bad liar.” I told him as he picked me up and put me back in the truck.   
“Step on it Simon! Carson’s in the back right?” Negan barked.   
“Yeah, he’s with us.” Simon said as he sped down the road. My head lolled on to his chest.   
“Negan…” I whimpered. He put his hands on my cheeks.   
“Stay with me Doll….please just stay with me.” He pleaded. I nodded and did my best to stay awake. It felt like years before we pulled into the Sanctuary.   
“We’re here Doll. We made it.” Negan said. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he took me from the truck and started for the infirmary.   
“What happened?” Carson came running up next to us.   
“She just started fucking puking blood. A lot.” Negan said as he laid me down on the bed.   
“Damn. She has internal bleeding.” Carson said. From what I remembered of the few medical shows I watched, that was bad. That needed surgery.   
“How the fucking hell do you fix that?” Negan barked.   
“I-I have to open her up. I have to do surgery.” Carson said.   
“We even got the shit for that?” Negan exclaimed.   
“We have enough for it. The only thing I have is a local anesthetic. I don’t have anything to put her to sleep.” Carson sighed as he started to gather supplies.   
“So...so I have to be awake? You’re going to cut me open while I’m awake.” I said, my voice shaking as the tears fell down my face. Negan sat next to my bed and ran his hand threw my hair.   
“You’ll be okay. I won’t leave for a second.” He said.   
“I’ll put up a barrier, you won’t see anything. We have to do this Mary.” Carson said. I gave a shaky nod.   
“Aaron, wash up and put some gloves on. I’ll need you to help.” Carson said as he washed his hands. Aaron ran over and started washing up. Carson brought over two IV stands and pinned a blanket across it, obstructing my view below my chest.   
“You’re going to feel a little pinch, it’s just the needle.” He said. I nodded and felt the needle pierce my skin. I felt Negan grab hold of my hand.   
“Just breathe.” He said. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.   
“Can you feel me pressing on your belly?” Carson asked.   
“No. Nothing.” I said.   
“Alright, we’ll start then.” Carson said. I watched Negan’s face as he watched Carson and Aaron. His expression changing every so often, as if he could feel the pain I couldn’t.   
“We’re almost done Mary.” Carson said.   
“You’re a fucking badass. Awake for a whole surgery, that’s badass.” Negan smiled. I suddenly felt a panic roll over me. I was stuck I couldn’t ove. My insides were open and exposed and I couldn’t fix it. I tried to steady my breath. It didn’t work.   
“How much long?” I asked with a strained voice.   
“An hour tops.” Carson said. My whole body felt sweaty. I squeezed Negan’s hand.   
“ I can’t….I need over...I can’t….Stop please…” I cried.   
“Negan you have to keep her calm.” Carson said.   
“Mary, can you feel anything?” Aaron asked.   
“No...I just can’t do this anymore...I can’t ...I need to…” I couldn’t catch my breath.   
“Hey! Mary, you have to breathe. You’re doing so fucking well, you just need to hang on for a little while longer. Just breath.” Negan started taking deep breaths and I followed him. He cupped my face with his hands, his thumbs wiping the tears.   
“You’re so fucking badass. I promise, you won’t have to do this again. I promise.” He told me. He was a man of his word and didn’t leave a second, kept firm hold of my hand until I was stitched up.   
“No more field trips until you’re healed. Get some rest.” Carson patted my foot and left.   
“Do you need anything? Food?” Aaron asked.   
“No. I’m okay. Thanks.” I smiled. He smiled and left. Negan sat beside me.   
“I mean it. I’ll make sure you never have to go through that again. I’m going to keep you safe. I swear. I can’t fucking take it when you’re hurt.” He said running a hand through his hair.   
“I trust you. Come here.” I moved over and beckoned him. He stood and looked down at me.   
“I...I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He sighed. I grabbed his hands and pulled him down toward me.   
“I just need to be close to you.” I sighed as he wrapped his arms around me. I rested my cheek against his chest, he was so warm. He smelled like sweat, leather and Irish Spring. It was comforting. I felt safe. Maybe this was the right choice.


	12. Ch 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary is finally allowed out of the infirmary. Negan wants to take care of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut! Finally some smut! Ye be warned!

Negan’s POV

I rubbed the sore muscles in my neck as I stumbled my way down the hall. I needed coffee. I needed it now. It was still early yet, Mary was sleeping. Not many people would be in the cafeteria. It was a perfect time to go. As I turned a corner I bumped into Aaron.   
“Shit...sorry.” I grumbled.   
“Oh, my bad. Heading to breakfast?” He asked, clearing his throat. I nodded.   
“Need coffee.” I grunted. He nodded.   
“Eric’s the same way when he gets up. He could sleep for two days and still wake up cranky and needing coffee.” He chuckled. I hate small talk.   
“How’s Mary?” He asked.   
“Okay. Sleeping.” I said. We walked the rest of the way in silence, but something hung in the air. He clearly wanted to say something. I grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee. Aaron piled food onto a tray.   
“You eat more than I thought you would.” I said sipping my coffee and grabbing an apple.   
“I was bringing food up to Mary. She needs it.” He said. I nodded and we walked back.   
“Thanks for...ya know taking care of her.” I told him.   
“She’s family. It’s what you do.Listen….” Oh here it comes.   
“I just wanted to say...I don’t agree with everything you do. In fact most of it is appalling to me, but you care for her. She’ll be happy and safe here and that’s all that matters.” He said.   
“I...um..thanks? I don’t fucking know what you want to hear after that.” I sighed.   
“It’s fine. I don’t need anything, just wanted you to know that.” He said as we kept walking. We were just outside the infirmary door, we could hear sobs on the other side. I slammed the door open putting my cup down on the nearest surface as I ran in. Mary was rolled on her side crying.   
“Mary? Mary what’s wrong?” I asked reaching for her hand.   
“It hurts…” She whimpered.   
“I’ve got it.” Aaron grabbed a syringe and filling it with pain meds. He stuck into her arm and discarded the needle.   
“Just give it a minute. You’ll feel better in a minute.” He told her. Slowly but surely she stopped whimpering.   
“Sorry…” She sighed.   
“Nothing to apologize for. I don’t want you in pain ever.” I told her.   
“Brought you some breakfast. You should eat. Get your strength back up.” Aaron said as we helped her sit up. He placed the tray on her lap. She started taking bites of her food.   
“Listen, I need to talk to you. I don’t think I can stay much longer. I need to get back to the group. I need to get back to Eric.” Aaron said looking at the ground. He didn’t want to leave Mary alone still, that much was obvious.   
“It’s okay. I understand. You didn’t have to come. But I do appreciate you being here.” Mary said putting a hand on his shoulder.   
“I’ll have you go with the new guard unit heading to Alexandria. They leave in a few hours.” I told him. He nodded and left. Mary picked at her food. She was upset and not hiding it well at all.   
“You okay?” I asked her, sipping my coffee.  
“I’m just going to miss Aaron. It was nice having him here.” She sighed.   
“Listen Doll, I’m not a huge fan of the idea of you going back after the last two times, but I won’t stop you from going to see them. You know that.” I said.   
“They won’t want me back. After everything, they won’t want me.” She said putting her tray on the bedside table.   
“Then they are the stupidest motherfuckers on the planet. I’d kill for you, to be around you. They don’t want you, fuck them.” I told her.   
“It’s...thank you. It’s just...they’re family. We been through hell and back and done it three times over. It hurts, more than I was prepared for.” She sighed.   
“Do..are you saying you want to go back?” I asked leaning forward in my seat.   
“What? No. No, I don’t want that. Even if I did, I couldn’t. Aaron’s my last connection with them. The only one I have left. Him leaving, just makes me feel...alone.” She looked away, she knew it would hurt.   
“Right… I get it. But you’re not. Lacey and Angela like you. Laura actually talks about you with a grimace and that’s saying a lot, Arat actually gives you compliments. You seem to have appealed to Simon’s softer side.” I chuckled.   
“And me. I’m no prince charming, but damn if I won’t protect you with every last breath. I’ll never raise my hand to you. I’ll do my fucking best to not hurt you ever. You got me wrapped around your little finger.” I said clearing my throat.   
“Negan...thank you. I trust you.” She said. I smiled and leaned over and kissed her.   
“Oh! Sorry, I’ll come back!” Carson spun on his heels.   
“No! Doc, come back in here.” I sighed, Mary laughed. Fuck, it was like music. Carson came back in with an awkward smile.   
“I just...I wanted to tell you that you can go back to your room today if you want. You’re recovering well, you don’t need to be here. But you should stay in bed for another couple of days. Keep the strenuous activity to a minimum.” He said.   
“Okay thank you.” She smiled, her cheeks bright pink.   
“She won’t lift a finger. I’ll tie her to the bed if I have to.” I winked. Carson left as quickly as he could.   
“You just like making him as uncomfortable as possible.” She smiled.   
“Yeah, I fucking do. It’s the little things in life.” I smiled.   
“Perverse but harmless.” She chuckled.   
“Let’s get you out of here. It’s so creepy.” I said wrapping her up in my arms and lifting her from the bed.

Mary’s POV

He carried me in his arms as if I weighed nothing. I laid my head in the crook of his neck, his skin was so warm against my mine. He smelled like soap and leather and smoke. He walked past my room and I lifted my head looking at him with a cocked eyebrow.   
“Negan, where are you taking me?” I asked. He chuckled, the vibrations in his chest sent goosebumps all over my skin.   
“You think I’m leaving you alone? No way sugar.” He smiled. He carefully opened the door to his room and entered. He gently laid me down on his bed.   
“What do you think I’m going to do? Run away? I can’t get too far. I’m really fine in my room.” I said sitting up.   
“Well, then do it for me. I want to keep an eye on you. You took a damn bullet for me and then you had to have a second surgery which you were fucking wide a-fucking-wake for! Let me just...take care of you for a bit.” He sat on the edge of the bed.   
“Okay…” I said. Maybe it was the pain meds, but in the light he looked breathtaking. I leaned forward and kissed him, my hands tangling in his hair. I felt his arm wrap around my waist and pull me closer, his other hand grabbing my neck. As the kiss intensified I grabbed his jacket and pulled it off him. He pulled away with a groan.   
“We...we should stop. Doc said you should take it easy.” He said out of breath.   
“Then we’ll go easy.” I told him.   
“This...this is your first time. It should be special.” He said.   
“Please….I don’t care about all that. I want you. You’ll treat me right, and you’ll be gentle and that’s all I need. I need you. I don’t give a damn if there’s rose petals or candles or whatever bullshit people say there should be. I just want you to fuck me.” I purred. His eyebrows were raised, his breath quickening.   
“Alright, but you let me know the minute you’re uncomfortable. I fucking mean it! Even just a pinch, you fucking say something.” He said.   
“I promise. Now, shut up and fuck me.” I growled. He smiled and grabbed my neck, pulling me into a deep kiss. He undid the hospital gown and practically ripped it off me. I grabbed his white shirt and threw it to the floor. He made quick work of his pants and leaned over me. I was completely naked. Exposed. There was a hunger in his eyes, something I’d never seen before. He gave a wicked smile as he trailed kisses down my body until he got between my legs. He looked up at me, a twinkle in his eye, and disappeared between my legs. Suddenly I felt his tongue between my folds, a sensation completely new. It sent shock waves throughout my body, making me gasp. He had all the experience, I had none. I didn’t know what to do but trust him. His hands gripped my thighs as he started circling my clit with his tongue, I couldn’t help the moan that escaped my lips as I grabbed the sheets. He lifted his head, panting and smiling.He kissed his way up to my breasts, his hands grabbing hold and his thumbs rolling over the sensitive skin. He leaned down and bit my neck, I let out a moan. His hand traveled down my body, finding it’s way between my legs. His fingers rubbing between my folds.   
“God Damn….you’re fucking soaked. You ready for this, cause I’m fucking ready.” He said, his voice raspy and guttural.  
“Please...I’m ready...please Negan…” I sighed. He smiled and threw his underwear across the room. His erection standing at attention, bigger than I’d imagined and I had a good imagination. The thought that it wouldn’t fit, ran across my mind for a moment. But I was broken of it as I felt him rub the head along my womanhood. He stilled for a moment, hesitation. In battle he’d never hesitate. But me, I made him hesitate.   
“Please Negan….” I whispered. He groaned and slowly pushed himself in, I tried to keep quiet, but couldn’t help the gasp as the pain washed over me. He stopped and looked down at me, looking for any sign that I wanted him to stop. I gave him none. He kept going, inch by inch until he was buried deep. He laid over me, the sweat starting to cover his body.   
“Oh fuck! So fucking...tight…” He groaned. He started a slow rhythm, pulling out and pushing back in. It was all so foreign to me. All the pain and pleasure. He started to get faster, I dug my nails into his back making him moan. We moved in sync, groaning and sighing and panting. The warmth in my belly was growing. I could feel myself on the edge. Negan buried his face in my tits as he rocked into me. He growled, he was nearing the end too. He slammed into me, hitting all the right spots.   
“Fuck! Negan…. Fuck! Yes!” I screamed as the pleasure rushed over me, enveloping me in a haze. Negan growled as he thrust a few more times and pulled out, cumming on my belly. He collapsed on top of me, wrapping me in his arms as we panted and huffed.   
“You okay?” He panted.   
“Oh yeah...yeah, sore but very okay.” I chuckled.   
“Good to fucking hear.” He laughed and nipped my neck. We laid like that for a few minutes. Just relaxing into each other.   
“Negan...Negan ya gotta get off.” I said.   
“But I like it right here.” He purred.   
“I know, but it hurts, my stitches.” I huffed.   
“Oh shit! Sorry, yeah.” He practically jumped off me. He looked over my stitches, making sure they were still intact and no harm was done.   
“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” He said and wrapped me in his arms, taking me to his bathroom.   
“You know, I can walk.” I chuckled as he put me down on the floor.   
“Eh, I like carrying you. Makes me feel like a knight or some shit.” He laughed as he turned on the shower.   
“I’m not a damsel in distress.” I told him.   
“Oh sugar, I know that. You don’t need me, but you want me as evident by what just went fucking down.” He chuckled and pulled me into the shower. He took a washcloth and poured soap on it, lathering it up. He started scrubbing my skin in rough circles. It felt nice, like a massage. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss.   
“Thank you.” I sighed.   
“No need to thank me. I should be thanking you.” He chuckled.   
“I mean it. Before the world went to shit, I probably would have lost my virginity to some idiot teen boy who didn’t know what the hell he was doing and would have been done in two seconds and made it all about himself. Thank you. You made me feel...special.” I smiled up at him.   
“Well shit….You are special. You deserve to be treated like a fucking queen. You deserve better than some two pump chump.” He smiled. God, I was in deep. We cleaned up and stepped out of the shower. He toweled off and started drying my hair. He ran the towel over my body, drying it, it felt like he was worshipping me.   
“You can borrow one of my shirts for tonight. I’ll have Lacey grab you some clothes in the morning.” He said as he dug out a black shirt and threw to me. I pulled it on, it hit above my knees. I watched as he pulled on some new boxers, his muscles gleaming in the light, still damp from the shower. He turned and caught me, a smile spreading wide on his face.   
“You like the show, sugar?” He said as he walked over to me.   
“Maybe…” I said. He picked me up again, I groaned.   
“Just humor me. I feel like I need to take good care of you right now. Fucking let me.” He said as he laid me on the bed.   
“How long am I going to be able to hold this over your head?” I chuckled as he crawled in next to me.   
“Oh, I say you got a week, two tops.” He said as he pulled me closer to him.   
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I laughed.   
“Shut up and go to sleep.” He said. I smiled to myself and breathed in his scent, slowly falling asleep.   
My eyes fluttered open, the sun beaming through the window. I felt Negan’s arm slung over me. He was dead asleep, a small snore coming from him. He looked peaceful. I felt like I had forgotten something. Something important but I couldn’t put my finger on it.   
“No. Oh fuck!” I bolted up right, instantly regretting it as the pain coursed from my side.   
“Shit! What!? What happened!?” Negan yelled sitting up, a knife in his hand. I looked at him surprised.   
“You sleep with a knife under your pillow!?” I asked.   
“Fuck yeah! Never know when you’ll need it!” He yelled.   
“I-I forgot Aaron! I forgot to say goodbye! He probably thinks I hate him, I don’t care! I’m such an idiot!” I shook my head as I got out of bed.   
“What? No. You’re not an idiot, he doesn’t think you hate him. Just chill the fuck out.” He sighed, putting the knife under his pillow and getting up.   
“He thinks I’m upset with him! He thinks I’m mad! I’m not going to see him any time soon and it will just get worse! I am an idiot!” I said, the tears threatening to fall.   
“Stop. Just stop. You aren’t an idiot. I don’t keep company with idiots and it pisses me off when you say that shit so fucking stop it.” He said as he went over to his radio.   
“Aaron, come in.” He spoke. I looked at him confused.   
“This is Aaron. Who is this?” Aaron’s voice came through.   
“Who the fuck do you think it is? You’re fucking overlord. Negan. Will you please tell Mary you don’t think she hates you so I can go back to fucking sleep.” Negan sighed.   
“Mary? I don’t think she hates me. Goodbye’s are tough. Even more so now, we don’t know when the next time we’ll see each other is. To be honest, I’m not sure I would have left if she was there.” Aaron said.   
“Good. Now fuck off.” Negan said putting the radio down. He walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders.   
“I gave him a radio, so you can talk to him whenever you want. Talk to anyone from there whenever you want. I know that was your home for so long. I know they’re family and you can’t break that easily. But I want this to feel like home. I want to be your family.” He said, sincerity in his eyes. I wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed him.   
“Thank you.” I whispered.   
“Absolutely. Now, let’s go back to sleep. Simon’s running shit today and I want more sleep.” He said grabbing me and putting on the bed.


	13. Ch 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a few weeks since Mary's surgery, since their first night together. Is it domestic bliss?

Negan had barely left my side for weeks. He had been particularly protective. He would bring me meals and chastise me when I’d leave the room. It was nice, but I was ready to be useful again. I needed to do something. I was going to go crazy sitting in that room for much longer.   
“Not sure your stance on pickles, but I brought you some today anyway.” Negan walked through the door, tray in hand. I sat on the couch reading, I set my book down and smiled up at him.   
“Love pickles. You can never have enough pickles.” I chuckled as he handed me the tray.   
“Good. That’s a deal breaker right there, cause I love them too.” He snatched one from my tray and I playfully smacked his arm. I set the tray down on the coffee table.   
“Listen, I wanted to talk…” I sighed. Negan raised his eyebrows.   
“Sure. About what?” He asked.   
“I think I’m ready to work again. Carson says I’m healing up. I just can’t stay in the room anymore.” I told him ready for an argument. He sighed and ran a hand over his face.  
“I know I can’t cage you and all that bullshit. I saw how well that went with Rick. But It seems too soon for runs,” He said.   
“I can handle it! I can do it! I’ve been practicing lifting boxes and moving stuff. I can do it.” I said.   
“I fucking knew shit had moved! Made me think I’m going crazy!” He chuckled.   
“Negan...please. I have to do this.” I said.   
“I can’t let you go out there yet. You’re a danger to yourself and not to mention everyone else on those runs.” He said shaking his head.   
“So you expect me to sit here and what? Clean up, cook for you, be some nice little housewife for you!? Sit around waiting for you to come home and fuck me!? That’s not going to fly!” I barked.   
“Fuck woman! No! I don’t expect that shit from you! If you would let me finish a damn thought! I’ll put you in charge of the training. We have a few new recruits and their hand to hand is shit.” He said leaning back in his chair.   
“Oh...well...good.” I cleared my throat.   
“Listen sugar, I don’t want you to be unhappy here. But I will keep you safe. Give it another two weeks and you can start going on runs with me and Simon.” He told me.   
“That’s fair, I suppose.” I sighed.   
“You’re the most stubborn woman I have ever met. Give Lucille a run for her money.” He smiled and shook his head.   
“Who was she?” I asked, I knew it would be a touchy subject.   
“Not yet, sugar. We got a good thing going. Not yet.” He said and got up.   
“You start training today. Eat up and get your fine ass down to the sparing room.” He said and left. I quickly ate and got dressed for the day. I ran down to the bottom floor and to the sparing room. It was a room they had covered in matts, the floor, the walls, all of it. It was a nice size room, it might have been a conference room at one point. I walked in and there were three people standing in a huddle talking to each other and Arat leaning on a wall.   
“Boss just wants basic fighting skills. Nothing fancy. Make sure they can take a punch mainly.” Arat shrugged.   
“Alright everyone, I’m Mary.” I smiled as the three turned to look at me. Two women and one man.   
“Why don’t we start with your names.” I said.   
“Jack.” The man sighed, he either thought he didn’t need to be here or didn’t want to be here.   
“I’m Lizzy.” A girl with dark hair and tan skin said.   
“Ally.” Said a nervous looking girl, her dirty blonde hair in her face.   
“Okay good. Now that’s out of the way we can start. It’s all about your core. The stronger your core is the better you can fight. Arm muscle counts for some, but if you don’t know how to throw a punch, it won’t be as powerful.” I said.   
“Where did you learn?” Jack asked.   
“Well, my dad taught me some stuff. A lot of it I’ve picked up over the years.” I told him.   
“What the hell did your dad do?” He sniffed.   
“He was a sheriff.” I said.   
“So you aren’t trained and the only place you did learn anything from was your cop dad. Great, I feel real prepared.” He rolled his eyes.   
“Watch your mouth recruit.” Arat growled.   
“I can already tell I’m better than you so just learn.” I said.   
“Why the hell should I listen to you!?” He yelled. I walked up to him and punched him in the nose.   
“Because I could kill you with my bare hands. Now shut the hell up and listen.” I snapped. The two girls smiled to themselves. He got up and stormed out of the room. Arat growled and went after him.   
“Lesson one, surprise.” I smiled. The girls laughed.   
“How could you tell you could take him?” Lizzy asked.   
“You never underestimate your opponent. Always assume they can kick your ass, it keeps you more alert and thinking.” I told them.   
“Alright let’s start for real this time.” I clapped my hands. 

Negan’s POV

She caught me off guard this morning, asking about Lucille. She has every right to. I talk about her too damn much. She won’t look at me the same when she finds out what a bastard of a husband I was. There isn’t anything I can do about it. I tried to forget about it and get some shut eye in the truck. 

 

“Are you ashamed of me, Negan?” I heard a sweet voice ask. I sat up on the bed and looked at Lucille confused.   
“Why the hell would I ever be ashamed of you. You’re the best damn thing to ever happen to me.” I told her, holding her face in my hand.  
“Why can’t you tell her about me?” She asked.   
“Because of how damn awful I treated you. It’s about me baby.” I sighed.   
“I deserve better Negan. She is your love now, respect her. Respect her like you couldn’t respect me.” She said. Her words were harsh, but there was a warmth to them.   
“I fucking loved you Lucille-”  
“Don’t. Don’t you dare. I don’t want to hear it. I’m gone. She’s here. You tell her that. Not me. I don’t want it, not anymore.” She said.   
“I’m sorry…” I sighed.   
“You better be. You treat her better or I won’t let you hear the end of it!” She yelled standing up and storming away. 

 

“Jesus! Fuck!” I jumped awake.   
“Shit!” Simon jumped and swerved the truck.   
“Fuck, sorry man.” I grumbled rubbing my eyes.   
“What in the holy hell were you dreaming about?” Simon sighed.   
“Lucille was yelling at me again.” I groaned. Simon laughed.   
“When isn’t she? Ya gotta let her go man. If you don’t, you’re just going to be in pain and fuck up your thing with Mary.” He said. I looked over at him with a raised eyebrow.   
“Oh gee thanks Dr.Simon! I never tried that before!” I spat. He was right. I had to get my shit together. I can’t fuck up this time.   
“We’re here boss.” Simon announced as we pulled up to the gates of Alexandria. I hopped out with a big smile. They all stared with wide eyes. That was the look I wanted, fear. Rick walked up to us, his shoulders hunched, his head low, but still meeting my eyes.   
“Well, Prick, you better have something good for us.” I said.   
“We’re doing our best.” He mumbled. I shook my head and sighed.   
“That is not a good way to start this pick up. Simon! Get started.” I barked. Simon and the rest of the Saviors went to work.   
“How is she? How’s Mary?” Rick asked. I clicked my tongue and moved closer.   
“She’s doing just fine. Back on her feet already. She’s a badass woman, Rick. Despite having you for a father, she is a motherfucking badass. Her mom must have been a hell of a woman. Wish I could have met her, but you failed her too I guess.” I said.   
“I never failed Mary.” He growled.   
“Didn’t you? Did you forget that slap, I sure as hell didn’t. Did you forget how one of your people shot her!?! I fucking didn’t!! How about when another one of your people beat her to the ground!?! Did you know she had to go through hours of surgery awake because of it!?! You failed her in front of me more times than I can count, I can’t imagine the things that happened before I met her!” I yelled. I could practically feel the heat coming off him he was so damn pissed.   
“Aaron never mention she had to have surgery…” Rick said through gritted teeth.   
“Yeah, not his job to inform you of her well being. You punish that boy of yours for how he talked to her? I’m going to guess no.” I said.   
“Carl was reprimanded.” Rick said.   
“Yeah, sure, no video games for a day. Real tough guy you are Rick.” I scoffed.   
“We got all they had, Boss. really a sad pick up today. You guys gotta work hard, ya gotta want it!” Simon smiled. I walked over to the haul and sighed pinching my nose.   
“This is very disappointing Rick. We’ll give you pass this time, but if I find this next time? It won’t end so well. Remember that.” I said.   
“I want to see her.” Rick barked.   
“Excuse me?” I sauntered closer to him.   
“I want to see Mary. She’s my daughter, I have the right to see her-”  
“You gave up that right when I saw you lay a malicious hand on her! You threw that right out the damn window!! You will not see her! You will- Look at me when I’m speaking to you!” I screamed. Rick slowly raised his head, his eyes burning with rage and tears threatening to spill.  
“You have done enough to her. I will keep her safe. I will keep her happy and you will have nothing to do with it. You will have nothing to do with her happiness.” I growled. I turned and walked back to the truck.   
“Be ready for next time. If you’re not, someone’s gonna die. And boy do I have a list of favorites!” I smiled and jumped into the truck. We left, a cloud of dust behind us as I watched Rick start to scream in the rear view mirror. The ride home felt like ages, but we finally got back and I was greeted by Arat.  
“How’d she do today?” I asked her as I jumped from the truck and stretched.   
“She was good. That Jack guy though, I had to punish him Boss.” She shook her head.   
“What? Why? He seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders.” I sighed as we walked into the building.   
“He didn’t think Mary was a good enough teacher. He mouthed off, squared up to her. I took points from him.” She said.   
“Did he try anything? With Mary?” I asked, my grip on Lucille tightening.   
“Naw, but she put him in his place. Broken nose according to Carson.” Arat said with a flicker of a smile. I laughed.   
“Knew she’d be right for it.” I smiled.   
“Just keep an eye on her during the training for me. Just for a little while.” I asked.   
“Course Boss. She might be better than me though.” Arat shrugged and walked off. I walked the halls, people kneeling before me, my mind was cluttered to say the least. I got back to my room and swung the door open to find Mary reading on the couch. She looked up and a smile spread across her face. She lit up like my own personal sun.   
“Hey Sugar. Heard you broke one of the recruits nose.” I chuckled as I closed the door and put Lucille on the chair.   
“I had to teach him a lesson. I think he’ll be okay though.” She said closing the book.   
“How was the run? Alexandria again?” She asked, there was a sadness in her eyes. I sat next to her with a sigh.   
“Yeah, Alexandria.” I said kicking off my boots. She bent down and picked up my foot and started rubbing it.   
“...that’s nice…” I moaned and laid my head back.   
“I am good with my fingers.” She chuckled.   
“Dirty girl!” I laughed.   
“Did they try anything this time?” She asked, I could hear the trepidation in her voice.  
“No. Everyone was civil. Their haul was pitiful though. Told them they have to step up their game for next time. Rick...wants to see you. I told him no.” I said looking over at her. She stopped what she was doing and stared off into the distance.   
“If you want to talk to him, Aaron can give him the walkie.” I said.   
“No. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t need to.” She said and started rubbing my foot harder.   
“Alright. That’s enough Mary. Mary, that’s good. Ow!” I yanked my foot away.   
“Shit...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…he just makes me so angry.” She sighed running her hands threw her hair. I moved over and gathered her in my arms.   
“It’s okay. He pisses me off too.” I chuckled.   
“I gotta work on this anger, I don’t know where it’s coming from.” She sighed, her head on my chest.   
“I like when you get angry, it’s hot.” I chuckled. She smacked my arm. I held her for a moment before sighing and sitting up.   
“I think I need to tell you about Lucille.”


	14. Ch 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan tell's Mary about Lucille. Mary is emotional.

Negan’s POV

We sat in silence. My throat felt raw, tight, from trying to keep my emotions together as I told her about Lucille. She sat quietly as I told her about the awful things I’d done. Now, there was a look on her face that I couldn’t quite read. It was like she wasn’t even looking at me, but through me.   
“Mary?” I couldn’t stand the silence any longer. She sighed and looked away, pinching the bridge of her nose.   
“Why would you tell me this?”She asked.   
“I thought you had a right to know. I didn’t want it to feel like I was hiding it from you.” I told her.   
“You could have just told me she was your wife, she died of cancer and that’s it!” She said.   
“I wanted you to know the whole story.” I told her, frustrated that she was upset I told her.   
“Am I supposed to sympathize with you? Is that what you want? I can’t. I don’t condone cheating!” She yelled.   
“Is that what you feel is going on now, then?” I growled.   
“No. I don’t feel like you cheat on me, with the wives. It’s a different situation. I know about them, we’ve talked about them. They are a part of this.” She barked.   
“Why the hell are you so damn mad!” I yelled.  
“Because now I know how much of an asshole you truly are!” She threw her hands in the air. I sat breathing heavy, not sure what I wanted to do or say.   
“I never tried to hide it, sugar. Never told you I wasn’t. You can go. You can run back to Alexandria, or you can go back to your room and work for points. Or you can fuck off to god knows where. Your choice.” I hissed.   
“You’re cruel, you know that?” She spat as she stood and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. I groaned and slammed my fists on the coffee table.   
“Are you happy!?! Are you fucking thrilled now, Lucille!!” I screamed to the air. Part of me wasn’t surprised by her reaction. I deserved it. I got up and went down to Simon’s office and collapsed in the chair.   
“I fucking told her about Lucille. She wasn’t pleased to say the fucking least.” I grumbled.   
“She just needs to digest it. Think about it. She’ll come around.” Simon said not looking up from his papers.   
“She stormed off to god knows where. Can you just make sure she has points on her account in case she decides to be independent?” I sighed.   
“Yep. But she hopped on the run that just left so she should be good.” Simon said.   
“What? What are you talking about?” I looked at him confused. He finally looked up at me, worry in his eyes.   
“Um, well you didn’t give me instruction on her going on runs again. Carson said she was ready to go, when she asked I figured it was fine. They were headed out to some town about four hours from here.” He said.   
“She wasn’t supposed to go on any without us! Dammit! It’s my damn fault! Again!” I yelled and jumped out of the chair and headed for the trucks.   
“I’ll try and Radio them. Get them to stop at least.” Simon pulled his walkie from his belt and started calling into it. Nothing came back.   
“They must be out of range.” Simon said. We grabbed a few people and hopped in a truck, speeding out of the Sanctuary. 

Mary’s POV

I had to get out. I had to get air. I just needed to be away from him. I thought I understood his evil. I thought I understood how far he could go, but he keeps surprising me. It was all so much. I know that what he did was awful and no where near as awful as what he’s done since. It was so personal. So intimately horrible, it was hard to accept. We’d been driving for two hours when we pulled up to a blockade. We all jumped out, guns at the ready.   
“Who made this? Had to be a group. No way one or two could do it.” Tom said.  
“Let’s not stick around to find out.” I said, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.  
“Let’s try and clear a path. I’ll use the explosives.” Darren said jogging to the back of the truck. He fixed the explosives to the block and we stepped a few extra feet away before he lit it. Bits of woods and flames shot all around.   
“We should be able to get the truck through.” Tom said and we all climbed back in. We crawled through the opening and started driving. It felt wrong. Something was wrong, we could all feel it.   
“Simon? Come in Simon.” Darren spoke into his walkie. There was no response.   
“Damn! We must be out of reach. We’re on our own.” Darren sighed.   
“Maybe we should just go back.” I suggested.   
“The town is just up ahead. It’ll be fine.” Tom said. As if fate wanted to mock us, after Tom said that gunshots rang out and he swerved off the road as the tires were shot out.   
“Fuck!” Tom yelled as the truck ran into a tree.   
“Shit! She was right!” Darren yelled.   
“Just stay calm. Maybe we can reason with them.” I said trying to get my heartrate to slow. We looked around and couldn’t see anyone. Suddenly my door was pulled open and I was yanked from the truck. I tried to get free from their grip, but they were stronger than me. I screamed and kicked, I was at least going to make it hard on them.   
“Shut you mouth, girl!” The man growled as he gave my body a shake and forced me on my knees, tieing my hands behind my back. I watched as they brought out Tom and Darren. A man came and looked them over, shrugged and sniffed.   
“To the pit, all they’ll be good for. Bring her back.” He said and they grabbed me and started dragging me away.   
“No! No! Stop!! Tom! Darren! Where are you taking them!?! Stop this!!” I screamed.   
“Shut her up!” Someone yelled. I screamed and writhed, trying to get free, trying to get to Tom and Darren, but there was a hit to my head and everything faded to black. 

Negan’s POV

“You drive like a fucking grandma! Fucking step on it, Simon!” I growled from the passenger seat. Any other day and I’d be fine with Mary going out on a run. But she was emotional. She was angry and fucked up and that meant something bad could happen. I was damned if she was going to be on a run as emotional as she was. I could have strangled Simon for letting her go.   
“If I go any faster, the truck will tip over. We’ll get to her boss.” Simon said. I grumbled in reply.   
“I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to her.” I sighed.   
“Neither will I.” Simon said, his words laced with sadness. I scanned the roadside for any sign of her.   
“Shit. Boss. Look.” Simon slowed the truck down as we came up to a blockade that had been blown to fucking bits.   
“Had to be them.” I said. We drove through and saw the truck crashed into a tree.   
“Pull over!” I barked. Simon pulled off the road and we all jumped out. I ran up and looked in the cab.   
“Empty. Fuck!” I growled.   
“Boss. The tires were shot out.” Simon said getting his gun ready.   
“Someone has her. Someone fucking took her!” I yelled, my grip on Lucille tightening. I stomped back into the truck.   
“I’m beating the holy motherfucking shit out of the fucker who laid a hand on her! I fucking swear! That piece of shit is fucking dead!!” I yelled. 

Mary’s POV

I felt hazy. I slowly woke up, my vision slowly clearing. I was in a tent. My hands were tied, my feet too. There was a man with long hair and scruff asleep in a chair next to me. There was a fire burning outside and voices, I could hear plates and cutlery. They were having dinner. I had to get out of there. Everything that they could do flash through my brain. The sleeping man had a knife on his belt. I needed it.   
Back before the end of the world, my parents had forced me to do gymnastics until the world did end. It had been a while since I’d done anything crazy flexible, but I had to try. I careful wiggled my body through my arms, over my legs so that my hands were in front of me. I was impressed I could still do that. I carefully slipped the knife from the man’s belt. I could feel the sweat beading on my forehead, by heart beating out of chest as I tried to control my breathing. I took the knife and swiftly and forcefully plunged it threw his temple. He wouldn’t wake up again. I quickly cut the ties from my wrists and feet. All I had to do was figure out how the hell to get out of the tent. I felt stuck. How the fuck was I going to get out without having the whole group chasing me!? Then I saw a small hole in the back of the tent. I put my knife in it and slit a hole big enough for my body. I careful crawled out and quietly walked into the woods. When it felt like I was far enough away that they wouldn’t hear me, I broke off into a run. I had no clue where I was, but I had to run. I’d hit a road eventually. The sun was about to set, I didn’t want to be out in the woods in the dark.   
My lungs were burning, my breath felt like fire in my chest, but I couldn’t stop running. They took my shoes. Why the fuck did they take my shoes? My bare feet smacked against the forest floor. I knew they were bleeding, but I had to keep going.   
“Oh precious! Sweet thang!! Get that sweet ass back here!!” I heard someone laugh behind me. My blood ran cold and I willed my feet to go faster. The tears started to run down my face, I panted, I felt them getting closer!   
“Gotcha!” The man laughed as he grabbed hold of my arms.   
“No! No! Let me go! Let go of me!!” I screeched. Another man laughed and walked in front of me. He grabbed the knife from my hand. He twiddled the knife on the end of his finger.   
“Honey, you’re not going anywhere, so stop fighting.” He said with a decaying smile. His greasy hair tickled my cheek as he leaned in and took a long sniff from my neck, sending chills down my spine.   
“You do smell nice. Been awhile since we seen a lady quite so nice.” He said. I struggled against the hold of my captor.   
“Ah! I’d stop that if I were you.” He said putting the end of the knife under my chin. I stopped moving, but he placed the end of the knife on my left shoulder and traced it along my collarbone, up my neck. I turned my head away as it reached my jaw bone. My hands fell to my sides, but the grip on my arms grew tighter. My finger brushed briefly on the tops of of knife handle, my captor had in his belt.   
“I’ll be real gentle. Promise.” The man laughed as he trailed the knife up my thigh, cutting a hole in my jeans. He looked up at me and gave a horrifying smile. I put my head back and slammed it forward, connecting with his forehead, sending him stumbling backwards. I grabbed the knife from my captor’s belt and plunged it into his side, making him release his hold of me. I quickly stabbed my captor in the head and whipped around and shoved the knife into the gut of the other man, pulling it up till I hit his ribcage. His eyes wide as his guts fell into his hands.   
“Fuck you.” I spat and ran off. I had to be getting close to a road. I had to get out of here. The tears streamed down my face, flashes of what happened, what almost happened wouldn’t leave me be. Adrenaline flowed through me. I ran, the sun starting to set making everything harder to see. I heard footsteps behind me, I turned to see how far they were, but saw nothing. I turned back just as I fell into a pit filled with blood.   
I gasped as I surfaced, blood covered me, it surrounded me. I saw an eye emerge from the depths. Bile burned the back of my throat. I climbed my way out, grabbing at the ground as I slipped and fumbled, gagging and gasping and crying. I wiped the blood from my eyes and mouth. Horrified and disgusted. Sounds were wrenched from me that I had never made. I ran, stumbling, my feet slick from the blood. I ran. I finally could see a road in the distance, I was tired and wanted to give up. I pushed, I gasped and growled as I ran onto the road. I started running down the road, I could see lights in the distance. I started waving my arms, I had no choice but to plead with whoever was driving towards. Forced into trusting they wouldn’t hurt me like I had already been hurt. The truck came to a stop a few feet in front of me. I got on my knees, hands in the air, the headlights were blinding.   
“Please….please! I need...I need help...please Help me!” I sobbed.The door opened and two boots landed on the ground.   
“Shit!”I heard a voice say. A familiar voice.   
“Oh fuck! Sugar!” Negan. It was Negan. He ran towards me, his face coming into view. I started sobbing harder.   
“Negan…Thank god!” I sighed. He wiped the blood from my face.   
“Who fucking did this to you?” He growled. I couldn’t speak, my throat was thick and burning. Then I heard the sound of footsteps running from the woods. I turned to see the men who took me.   
“Them.” I growled. I felt Negan tense behind me.   
“Looks like you pricks are going to meet Lucille! Oh and she is fucking thirsty as hell!”


	15. Ch 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These men messed with the wrong people. They will learn their lesson. Bloody, bloody Lucille.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I got busy and kind of wrote myself into a corner. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Mary’s POV

The men formed a line a few feet in front of us. Negan had his arm wrapped around my chest, I clung onto it instinctively. The man in the middle, the leader, took a step forward, he had a wicked smile as his dirty hair fell in his face.   
“Thought she was those two boy’s girl. Didn’t know she had anyone else. Have her back then. She’s too much of a fighter anyway.” The man hissed. I felt Negan’s grip on me tighten. He was fuming, his body heating up with rage.   
“Do not speak about her like she’s a thing. You fucking hurt her. You fucking touched her! I’m going to bash in every fucking last one of you cunt’s skulls!” He roared, making my ear ring.   
“No need to fight over a piece of ass man! We just wanted a little fun!” The leader chuckled. I pried Negan’s arm from me and scooted out of his way. Negan stood and ran over to the man bringing Lucille down onto his head. The man stumbled back before falling to his knees. Negan swung again and the man, clearly dead, fell flat on the ground. But Negan kept beating, blood splashed on the rest of the men, standing in shock. Negan growled as he beat the mess that was once my captor’s head. He turned to look at me, blood dripping down his face.   
“Now we match.” He smiled, it sent chills down my spine. He turned back to the men and smiled.   
“You fucks, you’re going to pay. Simon! You ready?” Negan said.   
“When you are Boss.” Simon said as him and the rest of the people pointed their guns at the men.   
“Just...just wait, we can wor-” Before the man could finish his sentence Negan smashed the bat into his head, Simon and everyone behind me started firing. I covered my ears, the gunfire screaming in them. A shot gun shell fell and sizzled on my bicep. There was blood everywhere. It stopped, the men in puddles before me. Negan was panting as he turned and walked back to me. He knelt in front of me, cupping my face with his free hand.   
“Are you okay?” He asked. I shook my head, tears falling down my face. He dropped Lucille and wrapped me in his arms. It was the first time I’d seen him let her hit the floor. I clung onto him and sobbed, my body shaking, my throat was sore. He grabbed onto me tighter. He didn’t say anything, just held me.   
“I need….I need to go home.” I said.   
“Okay, let’s get you home.” He said helping me stand.   
“No...not...I mean...Alexandria.” I said, barely above a whisper. I saw the hurt in his eyes. It tore a hole in me.   
“Not forever. Just for a little bit.” I said wrapping my hands behind his neck.   
“I’ll come back. I’ll always come back for you.” I told him, pulling him into a kiss. His lips tasted of copper.   
“Okay.” He sighed. He helped me into the truck and held me close. We didn’t speak the whole ride. We were halfway there when Negan picked up the radio.   
“Dwight, get Carson ready. He’s moving to Alexandria.” Negan said.   
“No. Negan, you can’t do that. You need him.” I said.   
“I won’t sleep at night, if you don’t have him there. It’s not forever, right? He’ll come back when you do.” He said. I knew arguing was useless. Negan picked up my arm, seeing the bleeding burn.   
“It’s fine. It’s not bad.” I told him. He took his scarf off and wrapped it around my arm. The red blending in with the rest of the blood on my arm. Our truck and Dwight’s pulled up at the same time.  
“Not forever right?” Negan sighed.   
“Right. Just a little bit. You can visit me.” I smiled. He gave a half-hearted smile back as he brushed blood-caked hair from my face.   
“Just call, when you want to come back to me. Aaron still has the radio. If you need anything, I’ll be here in a second.” He told me. The gates opened and my heart felt like it was being torn.   
“I do love you. I’ll wait for you, just tell me when you’re ready.” He said kissing me slowly. I held onto him a moment longer. I went to unwrap his scarf, but he stopped me.   
“Keep it. It’s your’s.” He said. I jumped out of the car and walked into Alexandria. Carson followed me. The guard looked at me, confused. I didn’t look back until the gate was closed. I saw Michonne come walking up to me.   
“Are you okay? Wha-”   
“I’m fine. I just need my feet tended to. This is Dr.Carson. He’s staying here for a while.” I said.   
“Right. Let’s get you two to the clinic then.” Michonne brought us to the house that was used as a makeshift hospital. They helped me onto a bed and Carson cleaned off my feet.   
“Is...is this all yours?” He asked.   
“No. Just the feet.” I said. He patched up my feet.   
“You’re good to go. Try and keep them clean and wrapped.” He said handing me a roll of gauze. I nodded a thank you and got up.   
“You can stay with us. You don’t have to go back to your house. We can look after you until you’re healed.” Michonne offered.   
“No. I just want to go back to my house.” I said. She nodded, looking to the ground.   
“Daryl moved back into his room. I just want you to know. We can move him.” She said. It was then I realized, I hadn’t seen anyone since the night Negan took his arm.   
“No. It’s fine. We have to face each other some day.” I said. I walked into the house. It felt like a bizarre, alternate universe version of it. It was the same house, I wasn’t the same person. Michonne handed me some clothes and I headed for the shower. I stood and let the water fall on me, staring at the drain. The water turning red as it swirled down.   
Why the hell did I do this? Why the fuck would I come back here? Why did I say that? I am so stupid. Now here, alone, my soul cried out for Negan. I didn’t cry often anymore. But I let myself have a moment. After everything, I wanted him to walk through the door, say some ridiculously crude comment and wrap me in his arms. But something was telling me I needed to be here again. I needed to face the demons I left behind. I climbed out and got dressed. I walked into my room. The bed was made, like they were waiting for me to come back. I sighed as I climbed in. It was cold. I drifted off quickly.   
I felt myself wake up, but didn’t open my eyes. I stretched and sighed, not wanting to face the day. I slowly opened my eyes, I was greeted by Daryl’s form standing over my bed.   
“Jesus! Fuck!” I screamed jumping up.   
“You fucking scared the shit out of me! Why the hell are you just standing there staring at me!?” I yelled.   
“You got the damn shower dirty. Go clean it.” He growled and left. I sighed rubbing my eyes. Oh, this was going to be fun. I walked into the shower and scrubbed the red from the rim of the tub. When I finished I made my way downstairs, tentative, not sure what to expect from Daryl. He was eating at the kitchen counter, I walked over and got some water, standing across from him.   
“You back?” He grunted, not making eye contact.   
“For a little while. Yeah.”   
“You still going back to him?” He said finally looking at me.   
“Yes. I will always go back to him.” I told him. He sniffed and went back to his poptarts.   
“Look….I didn’t want...I never want to see you hurt. You know that.” I told him.   
“ I know. You have damn weird way of showing that, but I know. I shot you. I ain’t ever gonna forgive myself for that. I deserved it.” He said.   
“Daryl...stop.” I sighed.   
“Let’s just...move on. I don’t wanna think about this shit anymore. We have you back, I want to enjoy it.” He said. I nodded and sipped my water. The front door burst open and Rick came walking in, Michonne followed. He came up to me, too close for comfort.   
“You’re back.” He said, his voice cracking.   
“For a little bit.” I said. He nodded.   
“You hurt? Michonne said you came in covered in blood.” He questioned looking me over.   
“Just my feet. I got chased. They’re dead now.” I said, my throat tight. He nodded. We stood in silence for a moment before he pulled me into his arms.   
“I thought I’d lost you.” He said. I held onto him.   
“No. I’m never too far away.” I sighed. He let go and held my face with his hands.   
“I’m sorry.” He said. I nodded. Maybe this was a start for everyone to work together. I wouldn’t hold my breath, but I could still hope.   
“He’s...he’s not coming to stay is he?” Rick asked. I shook my head.   
“No. He’s not stopping pick ups though.” I informed him.   
“Look, I know it’s tough. But you’ll find someone right for you, it’s just harder now-”  
“We are still together. That hasn’t changed. It’s not going to change. I just wanted to be home for a while.” I interrupted Rick. Rick slowly pursed his lips.   
“Fine.” He sighed.   
Everyone was touchy, they gave me side eye and glares. Even if Daryl was with me and we were joking around, I could always feel the eyes on me. I had fucked with their way of life, or that’s at least what they thought. I did extra work, trying to look good. I did the jobs no one wanted. I weeded the garden, tended the graves, did extra shifts on the wall. It didn’t change anything. I was a woman without an island. I had no home anymore. I’d lay in bed at night and stare at the ceiling, hoping for something to change. Hoping for Negan to show up. But I didn’t expect him to come for the pickups. Two pick ups and he was a no show. Every time it broke my heart a little.   
I heard the rumble of the trucks and the clang of the gate opening. I stared wistfully out the window, knowing he wasn’t there. Simon jump from his truck, then I heard that booming voice.   
“Alright you pricks! Get to work!” Negan yelled as he jumped from the truck. My heart began to pound in my chest. He set his eyes on my house and started towards me. I felt flustered all of a sudden. I smoothed my hair, it felt stupid. Who has good hair in the apocalypse besides Michonne? I jumped when there came a knocked on the door. I did my best to calmly walk to the door. I opened it and he stood there, in all his glory, that killer smile plastered across his face.   
“I missed ya Sugar.” He purred. I opened the door wider to let him in.   
“I missed you too. I can’t stop thinking about you, as dumb as that sounds.” I gave a nervous laugh. He set Lucille down on one of the kitchen chairs. He walked over to me, towering over me.   
“You don’t understand, I missed you. I don’t miss people. I haven’t...felt truly for anyone since…” He trailed off.   
“Since Lucille.” I finished. He looked me in the eye and nodded.   
“You...you’re special to me. I hate not being here to protect you. It gives me fucking chest pains. You’ve been giving me chest pains from the start.” He laughed. I smiled and wrapped my hands around his neck.   
“I know this is hard. I just...want to mend my bridges. Make sense?”   
“I fucking guess.” He sighed. I pulled him down to my lips. I meant only for a small kiss, but it quickly turned into more. I pulled away breathless.   
“I fucking missed you.” I said. He chuckled.   
“Dido, Sugar. When do I get to bring you home?” He asked.   
“I don’t know. Soon. Daryl forgave me. I don’t know if Rick will. But I have to try. Carl won’t...he won’t even look at me…” I sighed.   
“Fuck him. These people don’t deserve you. They can all go fucking jump in a goddamn hole and die. You’re all that fucking matters. If...if they can’t see that….fuck..them….” Negan said, his face red. He was panting and sweating.   
“Negan? Calm down...are you alright?” I asked walking over and holding his face in my hands.   
“I’m...I’m...I think I’m having a fucking heart attack!” He said as if inconvenienced by the whole thing.   
“Um...okay. Just...try and control your breathing...or something I don’t know!” Panic was setting in. He was the only person that made me panic, it almost pissed me off.   
“Ahhh!” He yelled as he fell to his knees, clutching his chest.   
“Negan!” I ran to him, he looked so pale.   
“I’ll be right back, I’m getting help.” I said getting up and running outside, catching myself on the porch railing.   
“Help!!! Get the Doctor! Now!!!” I screamed. Simon made eye contact with me, seeing the panic in me he ran towards the clinic. I ran back in, Negan was laying on the floor, panting, rubbing his chest.I ran over to him, picking up his head and holding it in my lap.   
“It’s okay. You’ll be okay.” I kept saying it over and over like a mantra. He looked up at me and smiled.   
“If this is how I fucking go, at least your face is the last thing I see.” He said.   
“Shut your stupid mouth, you aren’t going anywhere.” I said tears falling down my face. Simon came bursting into the house, Carson and Rick followed close behind. Carson came running over and started looking Negan over. I kept whispering that he’d be okay.   
“We need to get him to the clinic.” Simon nodded and waved some men into the house. They brought in a stretcher. They rolled Negan onto it. I could tell he hated it. Hated how it made him look. They lifted him and we all quickly made our way to the clinic. We got him inside and onto a bed. Carson started hooking him up to machines and shooting him up with medicine. I couldn’t make heads or tails of what was happening. I kept a firm hold of his hand.   
“Hey. Look at me.” Negan squeezed my hand. I lifted my eyes to meet his.   
“You’ll be okay. It’s okay. Right?” He whispered. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. I nodded.   
“I want to hear you say it.” He choked out.  
“I’ll be...okay...it’s...it’s…” I couldn’t finish, sobs took over my voice.   
“No. Don’t. Finish.” He said giving my arm a shake.   
“It’s okay….Please...don’t leave me…” I said just above a whisper. He smiled, his eyes crinkled, causing a tear to fall across his cheek.   
“I’ll do my best. Just for you Sugar.” He said pulling my hand to his lips.   
“Come on, let’s give the doc some room to work.” Simon said putting his hands on my shoulder. I shook my head, I didn’t want to leave him.   
“Come on Mary. Sweetheart, we need to leave him right now.” Simon said. I let go of Negan’s hand and stood.   
“I love you.” I told him.   
“Love you too Sugar.” He said, his voice rough and gravely. Simon pulled me out of the house. Simon kept hold of my shoulder.   
“You know he’s strong. He’s not going to let this bring him down.” Simon said. I nodded.   
“Come here.” He pulled me into his arms and I started crying. I took a deep breath and pulled away.   
“These...these people...they’re your family?” Rick looked at me confused.   
“They are my family too.” I told him. He nodded and walked away. Maybe I shouldn’t have come back.


	16. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan's fate revealed.

Mary’s POV

I sat on the porch steps outside the doctor’s office. I hadn’t slept at all. I couldn’t. Simon was sitting on the bench, slumped over asleep. The sun had started to rise now. It painted the sky in blood red and pink and orange. Any other time I would revel in the beauty, celebrated something we rarely got. Not today. Negan was on the other side of the door fighting for his life. Had been for hours. Michonne came by and made me eat. I forced it down my throat. My instinct was not to eat, but I knew she was right.   
I started crying again. It came in waves now. I didn’t want to keep going without him. I knew I could, that was clear. I just don’t want to. I heard the door click open and turned to look at Dr.Carson.   
“He’s stable. He’ll be okay, but he needs rest. He can’t be moved for at least a week.” Carson said, a worried look on his face.   
“I’ll deal with that later.” I said getting up and pushing past him. I walked in and Negan was asleep in his bed, nasal cannula on his face, it made him look weak. I’d never seen him like this. It was disconcerting. I moved to sit in the chair next to him. I went to grab his hand, but something stopped me. I was scared. His hand reached up and grabbed mine, making me jump.   
“You haven’t been fucking crying over me, have ya sugar?” He asked in a gravely voice. I gave a half-hearted chuckle.   
“No. Simon just snores so bad, it’s devastating.” I joked. He laughed.   
“I stayed for you.” He said.   
“I know. Thank you for not leaving me.”  
“I’ll do anything for you.” He smiled. I gave a short smile, my eyes falling to the ground. Negan squeezed my hand.   
“Sugar, why are you so upset? I’m okay.” He said.   
“I...I thought I might lose you. I had a lot of time to think, waiting. I don’t want a life without you. I just...I don’t want it…” I said, the tears starting up again. His hand reached up to wipe away some tears, cupping my face.   
“I don’t want any of this without you. Trust me, I know how you feel.” He chuckled.   
“It fucking sucks, don’t it?” He asked. I nodded.   
“Now, can we both agree to try and stay out of trouble for a while?” He laughed.   
“I’ll try.” I smiled. Carson came walking in writing something down.   
“Well, you need a week of rest. I don’t want to move you. I told Mary that already.” Carson said.   
“Well, shit. That is some real fucking inconvenient news, Doc.” Negan grumbled.   
“Don’t worry. I’ll handle it.” I told him.   
“Mary, you should sleep. Get something to eat. He’ll be taken care of.” Carson said.   
“No, I’m fine. My stomach's upset anyway. All this stress.” I snorted.   
“Sleep at least, you look more pale than normal.” Carson smiled. I rolled my eyes.   
“Doc’s right, Sugar. I’m fine. Go get some proper sleep. You can come see me when you wake up.” Negan said. I surrendered and kissed him before leaving.   
“You can go see him, Simon. I’m going to have a talk with Rick.” I told him, Simon nodded and walked in.  
The walk back to Rick’s house, felt longer than normal. I was exhausted. I knocked on the door. Michonne answered.   
“Everything alright?” She asked. I could feel she wanted to know if Negan was dead. I knew she wanted him to be.   
“Yeah. We all need to talk, Rick included.” I said walking into the house. Michonne ran up the stairs and a second later she reappeared with Rick following.   
“What’s going on?” He asked.   
“Negan is fine. He will make a full recovery.” I could see the disappoint in their eyes.  
“Right. Didn’t need to come here at the crack of dawn to tell us that.” Rick growled.   
“Carson says he can’t be moved. He needs to stay for a week.” I said. Their eyes went wide.  
“No. No way. I’m drawing the damn line!” Rick yelled.   
“He still has his army here to protect him.” I snapped.   
“Mary, this is bullshit!” He yelled.   
“I’m going to get some rest. I’ll come by later. Think before you do something stupid, Rick.” I said and turned to leave.   
When I finally got to my room, I nearly collapsed into bed. I had dealt with so much, but it felt as if I had never been this exhausted. I fell asleep instantly.   
My head was filled with bizarre dreams and images. I woke up, unnerved. I rarely remembered dreams, but I didn’t dream quite so oddly. I sat up and shook the sleep off. I stood up and it hit me.   
“Oh crap.” I muttered. I ran down the stairs and out the door. All the way to the clinic. I came running in, alerting everyone to my presence. They all turned to look at me.   
“Wow, Sugar. That eager to see me?” Negan chuckled. I gave a forced smile back.   
“Um...yeah. What can I say? I missed ya.” I said standing at the end of the bed for an awkward moment.   
“Dr.Carson, might I have a word in private please?”I asked.   
“Yes, of course.” He said and lead me to the back.

Negan’s POV

I hated feeling so weak. It pissed me off. It made me want to get up and beat the shit out of someone, anyone, just to show everyone I was still not to be fucked with. But I knew better. Mary would kill me if I got out of bed.   
I didn’t like seeing her worried either. It was taking it’s toll. I hated that I was causing her so much stress. I knew what it was like to be where she stood. All the shit we’ve been through. It’s amazing to me that she still sticks with me.   
She was too good for me. But damn if I wasn’t going to try and be good for her. She deserved to be a damn queen. My killer queen.   
“Simon? Where’s my jacket?” I asked, only seeing Lucille next to my bed.   
“Oh, I took it for you Boss. Didn’t want it to get ruined by anything.” He said as he picked it up from behind the door where it had been hanging.   
“In the front right pocket, there’s something I need.” I told him. He dug around and pulled it out, eyes going wide.  
“You sure about this boss? The others don’t even have one of these.” Simon said bring it to me.   
“There won’t be others.” I told him. 

Mary’s POV.

I stared at doctor Carson, confused, for a second.   
“You’re sure doc? Like, absolutely sure?” I asked him as I bit my thumbnail.   
“Well, these things can be faulty. But not usually this much. And from what you’ve told me. I’m pretty sure.” He told me. I nodded and stood frozen for second.   
“You alright, Mary? If you need me to help you-”  
“No! No. I’m fine. Just...need to digest is all.” I smiled and walked back to Negan.   
“Hey Sugar. Sleep really did you some good. You look a lot better.” He smirked. I smacked his foot.   
“Can we talk? Without Simon here?” I asked hinting for him to leave. Simon looked up and nodded and made himself scarce. Carson remained in the back.   
“Yeah, I want to talk too. I’ve been thinking about you and how you deserve only the best in the world.” He said.   
“Negan...maybe I should go first.” I said, not sure where he was headed. But I knew he needed to know.   
“Why? Are you breaking up with me?” He asked.   
“What? No! I don’t want that. I thought I made myself clear about how I felt about you earlier.” I looked at him aghast.   
“Okay, well, just let me finish.” He cleared his throat. “I found this a little while back, I want to give it to you, with everything it means and implies.” He said picking up my hand and putting a magnificent diamond ring on my finger.   
“Negan…” I gasped.   
“I think the fucking rock asks for itself, but, will you marry me?” He smiled.   
“Yes. Of course.” I said tearing up. He pulled me down to him, kissing me fiercely.   
“Now, what was your thing?” he sighed, looking content.   
“Promise you won’t have another heart attack?”  
“I’ll do my best.” Negan chuckled.   
“I’m...pregnant.” I said. His face was frozen in a neutral state. I was unable to read him. He was quiet, I didn’t like it. I felt myself starting to sweat.   
“Negan?” I prodded.  
“You’re sure?” He asked, clearing his throat.   
“Well, as sure as Carson is I guess. It makes sense. I’m never late. Even with all the stress I’ve been through, not once have I been late. Lack of appetite, all that stuff. I got it all. Plus I took four tests. All positive.” I told him, sitting in the chair next to his bed.   
“Wow. I mean….wow. I...I’m not sure what to say. This is fucking great though, right? You’re happy?” He asked, smiling.   
“I’m...yeah, I’m happy.” I smiled.   
“Talk to me. I can see you’re not telling me something.” He sighed and grabbed my hand. I looked at the floor and sighed.   
“I guess...I guess I’m scared. I’ve seen my brother grow up in this world. What he used to be and what he is. He adapted. But it hurt to see. What this...baby will have to be...I don’t know, it scares me.” I said.   
“We all had to adapt, change to live in this world. That isn’t a bad thing. Just shows how strong the ones still around are. But, with you as their mom, they will still know humanity.” He said cupping my face. I nodded.   
“Alright. I’m still terrified, but you’re right.” I smiled.   
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll be right next you holding your fucking hand every step.” He said pulling me to sit on the edge of the bed.   
“You better. I’ll kick your ass if you don’t.” We laughed. He pulled me down into a kiss.   
“I love you. Like a whole fucking lot.”   
“I love you too. Now, I have to go talk to Rick. We might need to make a plan to get you out.” I sighed.   
“Don’t worry so much.” He said. I rolled my eyes. I got up and left. As I walked toward Rick’s house I heard someone call my name.   
“Mary! Hey, I heard what happened. Everything alright?” He asked.   
“Yeah. Carson wants to keep him here for a week. I’m not sure I can make that happen.” I grumbled.   
“Rick is a reasonable guy. I’m sure we can figure this out. Want me to come with?” He offered.   
“Yeah, it might be nice to have someone on my side.” I chuckled. We walked up the stairs, Rick could be heard yelling from outside.   
“Already off to a pleasant start.” I said, knocking on the door. It flew open and a furious looking Rick stood, staring down at us.   
“Ready to talk?” I asked. I could almost see the steam coming from his ear.   
“Not much to talk about, but come in anyway.” He growled. I gave Aaron an incredulous look and walked in.   
“He’s not staying, Mary.” Rick said.   
“I have to stand with him on this one. Mary, you have to see how bad this is?” Michonne said.   
“I see why you wouldn’t want him here. I do. But he needs rest. It’s not as if he can hurt anyone yet. He wouldn’t. It’s just a week. You don’t have to see him.” I reasoned.   
“It’s not possible. He can’t stay here. His goons could cause more trouble than him! Not to mention he’s taking our medical supplies.” Rick barked.   
“He wouldn’t let his people hurt anyone. I was there for a while. I saw how he worked. As much as you aren’t going to like this, he isn’t much different from how you run here.” Aaron said. Rick’s eyes went dark.   
“You can leave with them.” He growled. Aaron sighed and shook his head.   
“Rick, he’s good to me. Does that count for nothing?” I asked.   
“He’s a monster.” Rick spat.   
“He keeps me safe. Far more than you ever did!”   
“I kept everyone safe! You made it! You’re here! I made sure you and your brother and sister were safe!”  
“No! Everyone else did! Michonne, Daryl, Carol, Tyreese! They all saved us. They all looked after us when you couldn’t!”  
“I was always there!”  
“No! You weren’t! You left us! When...when mom died. You left. Acted like you were the only person who lost her.” I said, tears filling my eyes as it sunk in what that meant to me now, in my current condition.   
“Go. Get him out of here.” Rick growled, eyes dark and cold.   
“If I leave, I won’t come back.” I told him.   
“That’s your decision.”   
“Rick, think about this!” Aaron pleaded.   
“You too! Take Eric and leave with them. You’re no longer welcome here.” Rick said.   
“Rick! No!” Michonne said.   
“It’s done.”   
“Rick, if you do this, I’m not staying in this house.” Michonne threatened.   
“You can take Mary’s room.”  
“Dad, look at what you’re losing!” I begged him.   
“I lost you already.” I looked at him appalled.   
“Fine. You won’t see me again. You’ll never see your grandchild either.” I spat and left.   
“Mary? Mary!” I heard Rick calling after, but I didn’t turn. The tears fell silently down my face. I heard Aaron’s boots running up behind me.  
“How long do we need to get ready to leave?” He asked, his voice rough.   
“I’m sure you can stay. He was angry at me. You don’t need to leave.” I told him.   
“I think we do.” He sighed.   
“We’ll leave within the hour.” I told him. He nodded and ran off. I ran into the clinic, face red and raw. Negan sat up in bed.   
“I’ll kill him. What did he do? I’ll beat him!” He growled.   
“No. Stop it.” I sighed.   
“Mary?” Carson questioned.   
“Simon, get everything ready. We have to leave as soon as possible.” I cleared my throat.   
“He needs to rest, he shouldn’t be moved.” Carson said.   
“I know! But we don’t have a choice!” I yelled. I ran my hand over my face.   
“We’ll be ready in thirty minutes.” Simon said.   
“Make room for two others.” I said.   
“What?” Simon looked at me confused.   
“Rick kicked out Aaron and Eric. They’re coming with us.” I told him.   
“What a prick.” Negan grumbled.   
“Boss, I’m not sure-”  
“They come with us. Make it happen.” Negan barked. Simon nodded and ran off.   
“Mary, come over here.” Negan called. I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled me down into his arms. I grabbed onto him and started sobbing.   
“We’ll be fine.” Negan whispered. I sighed. Everything fell apart so quickly. I wasn’t prepared for so much in one day. There was a knock at the door. I looked over to see Aaron and Eric, bags in hand.   
“Hope we aren’t interrupting.” Aaron said.   
“We’re making room for you two. We’ll get your room settled when we get back.” Negan told them. I got up and wrapped Aaron up in my arms.   
“I did this. I put you in this shit situation. I’m sorry.” I said.   
“You didn’t. I opened my mouth. I thought I knew Rick, thought he wouldn’t be like this. But I was wrong.” Aaron said. I pulled Eric into a hug.   
“I’m sorry for all of this.” I sighed.   
“ I suppose we could use a change of scenery.” He chuckled.   
“Anyway, I had a question. You didn’t really elaborate earlier. But did I hear you say...grandchild?” Aaron questioned, a smirk forming at the corner of his mouth.   
“Hell yeah! I knocked her up!” Negan yelled from his bed. I shot him a look, but he only laughed.   
“Mary! That’s amazing!” Aaron wrapped me in his arms and spun me around.   
“Okay, I’m glad I brought the knitting stuff now. I told you. Oh my god! The tiny socks, the tiny hats, tiny shirts! It’s going to be so cute!” Eric said practically jumping up and down.   
“This is awesome, right?” Aaron questioned.   
“Oh. Oh my god, yeah. No, we’re happy!” I laughed.   
“Alright, Negan we’re going to have to be careful getting you back. Your heart is still sensitive. I’ve packed everything we need. Once we get back, straight to bed.” Carson said.   
“I’m a tough motherfucker, Doc. I can handle a little car ride.” Negan snorted. Carson looked concerned. It put me on edge. Simon came walking, thumbs in his belt loops.   
“We’re ready to go boss. We got the truck backed up so no one has to see you leave.” Simon said.   
“Good. That is why you’re my right hand. Thinking in detail and shit.” Negan laughed.   
“You two, come with me and we’ll get your shit packed.” Simon said. Aaron and Eric followed after him. I sat on the edge of the bed.   
“I’m sorry, my negotiating skills seem to be terrible.” I sighed.   
“Don’t sweat it, Sugar. I knew he would never allow it. But you tried.” Negan took my hand.  
“When I’m back on my feet, we’re starting a nursery. Baby stuff on every run list. They will be spoiled. I promise.” He smiled.  
“Where are you going to put a nursery? We don’t have any room in the our room.” I questioned.   
“I’ll put a door in the wall. Turn the wives room into a nursery.”He said. I stared at him for a long moment.  
“You’re getting rid of them?” I asked.   
“Yeah. You’re all I need.” He smiled.   
“But some of them need you, Negan. They need to be protected or taken care of. You can’t just send them into the workforce.” I said.   
“I’m weaning them in. The ones who need meds, they’ll always have the meds. I’m not just sending them packing. But they need to work.” He told me.   
“That’s better I guess.” He pulled me into a kiss.   
“Boss...sorry. But, um, we’re ready.” Simon said. Negan sat up in bed, grabbed the cane Carson had given him and started for the door. I grabbed his arm to help him. We got him into the back of the truck and sat down.  
“Let’s get the fuck out of this hell hole. I want to go the fuck home.” Negan sighed. The truck revved into life and started. I felt nervous for some reason. My hands were sweaty. I wanted to get home as fast as possible.   
“Sugar, you alright?” Negan put his hand on my back. I nodded.   
“Mary, do feel alright? You’ve lost color.” Carson said across from me. He got up and knelt in front of me and started poking and prodding. I was doing fine, until the truck hit a bump in the road and my stomach turned. I leaned my head out the back of the truck and vomited.   
“Shit Darlin’. Hey stop the truck for a minute Simon!” Negan called as he grabbed my hair and pulled it from my face. I felt the truck come to a stop, I was still throwing up my guts.   
“Just let it out, Sugar. Let it happen.” Negan rubbed my back. I coughed and gagged.   
“Here, I brought some water.” Carson handed me a bottle of water. I sipped it.   
“Swallow this,” he handed me some dried bits of something. “It’s ginger. I use it for tea. It helps settle the stomach. Don’t chew it. It won’t taste good, might make things worse.” He said. I dumped it in my mouth and swallowed. Negan pulled me close, I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder.   
“We’re good Simon, get going.” Negan called.   
“Sorry.” I sighed.   
“Nothing to apologize for. Can’t help if you gotta throw up. Besides, it’s part of making a baby.” He hummed.  
I must have drifted to sleep, I heard Simon announce we were home, I sat up and looked around. It was dinner time, or close to it. Carson helped Negan down, out of the truck. I jumped down next to him.   
“What? You don’t help ladies down from trucks Doc? Bad manners right fucking there.” Negan growled.   
“I’m capable of getting out of a truck by myself. Let’s get you to bed you cranky bastard.” I laughed.   
“I’m your cranky bastard.” He smacked my ass as I walked in front of him.   
“Aaron! Eric! You can come with us. You can have the room across the hall for now. We’ll find you somewhere permeant tomorrow.” I told them. They followed us up to the top floor. Joey had helped bring their things up.   
“You two get settled. Joey, they don’t points for a while. Get them what they need.” Negan told them. Joey nodded and all three disappeared into the room.   
I helped get Negan comfortable in bed. Carson fussed over him. It was kind of funny to watch.   
“Nothing strenuous. I mean it. You both need rest.” Carson said.   
“So, what I’m getting here, is that you don’t want us to fuck?” Negan tilted his head.  
“...yes.” Carson said, leaving with red cheeks. Negan laughed.   
“It’s nice to have you back Sugar. I missed ya.” Negan pulled me close to him.   
“It’s good to be back.” I smiled.   
“I go to get you back, I come home with you, two new guys and a baby to be. It’s never dull.” He laughed. I nodded.   
“You’ve been quiet. What’s going on?” He asked.   
“My mom died having my sister. She died on the floor of a prison, because my sister was breech. My brother shot her.” I said. The room fell silent.   
“Well, you didn’t have doctor then. But we have one here. And medical supplies. That won’t happen to you. I fucking promise it won’t.” He said, almost angry.   
“I don’t you to shoot me. If something happens make it someone else. Simon or Aaron. Not you. I don’t want that on you.” I told him.   
“Shut up! Don’t talk like that! I don’t fucking like it! You aren’t going anywhere. Everything will be fine, you’ll have the baby and we’ll be the happiest fucking family on earth. I don’t want to hear you say this ever again, okay?” He said, my face in his hands. I nodded.   
“Everything will be fine.” He said pulling my into him. His hand rested on my belly.


	17. Ch 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF! It's a fluffy chapter. Enjoy, next chapter gets crazy!

Negan’s POV

A whole god damn week I’ve been stuck in bed, stuck in this damn room. I hate it! Carson keeps saying I need rest. I need to relax. I want to strangle him every time he says it. He says I’m not supposed to leave bed. Fuck him. I’ll get out of bed when I want. Mary keeps me from killing the bastard.   
I rolled over groaning, there was a knock at the door. I felt the other side of the bed, surprised by the lack of Mary next to me. I grumbled as I got up and answered the door.   
“The fuck you want?” I growled. Simon stood smirking.   
“I just wanted to check and see how you were doing. Cranky as ever I see.” He chuckled.   
“Oh fuck off. You fucking woke me up.” I grumbled.   
“Uh huh. We’re starting runs today. Anything I should put on the list for you?” He asked.   
“Baby shit. Just anything for babies. Crib, clothes, all that shit.” I told him.   
“Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Don’t think I said congrats. Congrats.” Simon laughed.  
“Thanks man.” I smiled.   
“You don’t seem as thrilled as you were?” Simon questioned.   
“I just worry about her. She’s scared shitless. She tries to hide it, but I can tell. Her mom...died having her sister. I have a feeling that’s all she can think about. She isn’t enjoying it for damn sure.” I sighed.   
“We’ll make sure that doesn’t happen, Boss. She’ll be alright.” He patted my shoulder. I nodded. I heard a shuffling from the bathroom, some weird noises. I thought Mary had gone down to the market.   
“I’ll make sure baby stuff is on every list.”  
“Yeah...yeah thanks Simon. Keep an eye out for Aaron and Eric. Make sure they’re doing alright. I gotta go.” I said shutting the door. I walked over to the bathroom door. I stood listening for a minute. I heard the distinct sounds of gagging on the other side. I opened the door.   
“Shit, Sugar….” I sweeped the hair from her face as she leaned over the toilet. She spit into the toilet and leaned back. Her face wash pale, her eyes red and puffy.   
“You should have woken me up.” I told her.   
“You need the sleep. I can handle this.” She sighed. I grabbed a washcloth and dampened it with cool water and put it on her neck. She let out a sigh of relief.   
“Thanks.” She smiled.   
“I want to help you. Let me.” I told her.   
“I know. I know you do. I guess...I just don’t like you seeing me like this…”   
“Hey, stop that shit. We’re engaged. I’m here for all of it. It’s in the vows, for better or for worse, sickness...and health. I’m not leaving you. I’m going to take care of you.” I said. She turned to face me, wrapping her hands behind my neck.   
“I’m here for you too. It’s okay. It’s okay that you’re thinking of her. I don’t want you to be upset or ashamed or whatever because you’re thinking about her right now.” She said, tears in her eyes. I looked at her for moment, taken back.   
“I don’t want to. This is us now. Not her. I just want us.” I said.   
“It is us. Just us. But she was a big part of your life and she was sick for a part of that. I see the panic every time I’m sick. Honestly, that’s why I don’t wake you up. I hate that you panic.” She said.   
“I...I can’t lose you too…” I said hanging my head.   
“I’ll do my best to stick around for you.” She smiled.   
“Okay…” I looked up at her and pulled her close to kiss her but she waved me off.   
“I literally just vomited. No kissing until I brush my teeth.” She giggled as she got up and started brushing. I stood behind her, my arms wrapped around her waist. My hands rested on her belly.   
“I think I feel a bump.” I chuckled as I nipped her neck.   
“You do not. It is way too early for anything.” She laughed.   
“Maybe you should lay off the kettle chips then..” She smacked my arm, I pulled her into a kiss.   
“It’s your fault, got me all knocked up and eating constantly.” She sauntered into the living room.   
“Well, if you weren’t so damn fucking hot, I wouldn’t have knocked ya up.” I laughed. She sat on the couch, I fell next to her.   
“Did you and Lucille ever try to have kids?” She asked. I sighed and sat up.   
“Yeah. We did. But it never happened. Thought it was me for a while...then the cancer happened. Figured that was what stopped it.” I said.   
“Do you wish you had?” She asked.   
“I don’t know.” I said. She wrapped her arms around me and rested her chin on my shoulder.   
“I’m happy this happened. I’m glad it was with you.” She said.   
“I’m glad it’s with you too.” I smiled.   
“I think we should go for a walk outside today!” She said jumping up.   
“Aren’t I on house arrest?”   
“I talked Carson into letting you go outside today. Come on, I have been cooped up in here too. It’s so nice out today!” She said.   
“Sugar, I have been waiting to get out of this fucking room, plus who hell could say no to you?” I smiled as I got up. We got down to the bottom level and outside. The sun was shining, it was warm. It was as fucking perfect a day as ever. She grabbed my hand and we walked around to the gardens.   
“We should expand. Make a nice place to be outside, instead of just rocks and grey walls.” She said as we walked through the greenery.   
“You’re right. The little guy is going to need some place to run around. I’ll talk to Simon when he gets back. We’ll work on it.” I told her.   
“Eric can help. He helped in the garden back in Alexandria.” I could see her eyes change.   
“Sugar, I’m starved. I’m betting you are right about now too. Let’s get some grub.” I changed the subject.   
“That was not subtle, but you’re right. I am beyond hungry.” She smiled. I wrapped my arm around her waist as we walked in. This would be the first time I’d been in the cantina for over a week. We walked in and sat down. A shaking kid came up to the table with two trays and ran off.   
“Good to see I still strike fear.” I chuckled.   
“Oh yeah. Real scary.” Mary rolled her eyes as she started eating. Halfway through the meal Arat came over and sat down.   
“You look...alive.” She stated.   
“Wow. Thanks.” I scoffed. She shrugged.   
“There’s a rumor going around the you got Mary preggers.” She sipped the coffee in her hand.   
“Yep. It’s true. Knocked her up!” I smiled.   
“Stop saying it like that.” Mary jabbed me in the ribs.   
“You said it this morning!”   
“Yeah, well, I’m allowed to.” She smirked.   
“I guess, congratulations. Lord help us all.” Arat said.   
“Yeah, that’s my spawn in there. It’s going to rule the whole fucking world.” I smiled. Arat shook her head, a smile on her face, as she got up and left.   
“Spawn? It’s a spawn now?” Mary looked at me.   
“It’s a joke. You know they’re all thinking it.” I said. She hummed as she got up and left.   
“I think you deserve a back rub when we get back upstairs.” I said.   
“I think I do too.” She said waltzing in front of me. I ran up behind her and wrapped my arms around her, nipping her neck. We got back to the room and Mary collapsed on the couch. I sat next to her.   
“I fucking needed that.” I smiled.   
“Me too.” Mary sighed. I sat up and grabbed her shoulders and moved her so her back was to me.   
“Are you actually going to rub my back?” She asked, surprised.   
“Yeah. Don’t sound so surprised. It’s not like I don’t take care of you.” I told her as I kneaded the muscles in her back. I hit a particularly tight knot and she let out a soft moan.   
“Wow, I am way better than I thought.” I laughed.   
“Shhhh...don’t ruin it…” Mary said. I kept on kneading her back until she was completely relaxed.   
“Thank you.” She sighed falling back onto the couch.   
“Anytime Sugar.” I smiled. She smoothed down her shirt, her hands resting below her belly.   
“Do I really have a bump?” She questioned. I put my hand over her belly.   
“Well, I think that’s mostly a food baby not our baby.” I smiled. She smacked my arm.   
“I don’t know, it just feels like it will feel more real when there is a bump.” She sighed.   
“It doesn’t feel real?” I asked.   
“No. It doesn’t feel different. I still feel...the same. I guess, I always thought you felt like different immediately. Like you started glowing right away and felt...I don’t know.” She said.   
“Soon. It’ll happen soon. You were always glowing anyway.” I said. She put her hand on my cheek and smiled.   
“I love you, you sweet bastard.” She smiled.   
“Love you too. I think it’s nap time.” I said as I got up and took my pants off and my shirt, crawling into bed in my boxers.   
“Old man, knocked out by a walk around the garden.” Mary teased.   
“Still young enough to show you a good time. Get in here.” I said.   
“Oh no. That is still off limits.” She giggled getting into bed. She cuddled up next to me laying her head on my chest. We drifted off to sleep.  
I felt the weight lift from my chest. I rolled over still half asleep. The bed dipped. I vaguely heard feet padding on the floor. I ignored it. Mary must have gotten restless. I fell back asleep.   
I woke up to the sound of coughing. I sat up and saw the light pouring out from the bathroom. I rubbed my eyes as I stood up. I heard the sound of retching and realized what was happening. I ran into the bathroom. Mary was hunched over the toilet again. Another sound accompanied the retching, crying. I rubbed her back, I hated there wasn’t much more I could do. She lifted her head, I handed her a towel to wipe her mouth with. Tears streaked down her face.   
“I..just..want it..to..stop..” She sobbed. I wrapped her up in my arms.   
“I know Sugar. I know. It will soon. I’m sorry.” I told her. She cried against my chest.   
“It’ll get better, I promise.” I whispered.   
“I hate this!” She cried.   
“I know. You’re so damn tough though. You’re going to be fine. You’ll get through this.” I told her.   
“This is all your fault!” She sobbed.   
“It is, you’re right. But it’ll be worth it.”   
“It fucking better!” She cried. I couldn’t help but laugh.  
“Let’s get you to bed.” I said. I gathered her up in my arms and brought her back to bed. I laid down next to her. She crawled up close to me.   
“Fuck you.” She whispered.   
“Love you too.” I smiled.


	18. Ch 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protective Negan

Mary’s POV

Mornings were hell. If I didn’t vomit, I sure as hell felt like I was going to. I had avoided leaving the room for a few days. I didn’t want to do much more than sleep. Negan forced me to eat. We both knew we’d see it later. Carson said it was normal. Keeps making me drink that gross ginger tea. It helps some, not enough. Today, I was supposed to help Arat with training. I didn’t want to be a flake. I promised I would help her.   
I was taking my time walking down stairs when I felt a hand on my back. I looked up at Negan and smiled. There was clear worry in his eyes.   
“You think you should be out of bed?” He asked.   
“Relax. I’m fine. Besides, it’s just vomit. Make the new recruits clean it up.” I joked. He didn’t laugh.   
“Just...take it easy. No actual fighting, right? Just teaching.” He said.   
“No fighting. That’s what Arat is for.” I promised. I kept walking. Negan was still beside me. I looked up at him with a cocked eyebrow.   
“You don’t have to walk me down to training.” I told him.  
“I’m not. We just happen to be going the same way.” He said.  
“You’re a better liar than that.” I snorted.   
“I just want to make sure you get there okay. There aren’t any accidents.” He said. I rolled my eyes, but didn’t bother to argue. Since he’d gone back to work and I was stuck in bed, we’d seen less of each other. He was busy planning something, I was busy being sick. To his credit he did come back to the room whenever he could. He and Simon were still phasing the wives into the regular folk. I realized that today might be the first time I see Lacey and Angela since I’d been back. I had no idea if they hated me or not.   
“I can handle it from here.” I told him as we reached the training room.   
“Alright,” he put his hand on my belly, “Be safe.” He told me. I leaned up and kissed him.   
“I will. Go kick ass.” I smiled and walked in. Arat was standing watching a group of girls talking. I looked over and recognized them immediately.  
“Oh shit. He made you three saviors?” I laughed. Angela, Lacey and another former wife Becca, turned around. They squealed and ran over.   
“You’re the trainer? The two girls from the last round said the trainer was this badass chick who didn’t fuck around. I assumed they meant Arat.” Angela said.   
“They probably did.” I laughed.   
“This is cool! We’ll get to work together then! Well, for a little while…” Lacey said.   
“Oh! Yeah! You have to tell us if the rumors are true. All Negan told us when he phased us out was that he found you and you were all he needed. Which was sweet, but then rumors started flying about you being knocked up. So?” Angela smiled.   
“Why does everyone use that term? Knocked up, sounds so redneck. But yeah, it’s true.” I said. They all jumped around, excited.   
“I guess that’s why you look like shit.” Angela laughed.   
“That would be a correct assumption.” I said.   
“Alright, chit chat is over. Let’s get to business, so I can get out of here.” Arat sighed. 

 

Negan’s POV

“Hey Boss, wanted to show you some of the stuff we picked up last run. There’s another truck coming in later. Should have a ton of baby stuff in it. They were going to see if the toys-r-us had anything of use.” Simon said as we walked to the storage building.   
“Did you find that paint I asked for?” I asked.   
“Found a bunch of different ones. Have your pick. Couple of the guys offered to help out with the nursery. I think everyone's pretty excited to have a baby to think about. Really boosted morale.” Simon said.   
“Well, it’s going to be the best damn baby ever. They should be excited. I was going to make some of them help with the door anyway. Nice to have people willing and wanting to help though.” I said as we entered the building. We walked over to a pile of pastel colored shit. I had no clue what any of it was.   
“Here’s the paint Boss.” Simon said pointing to a stack of paint cans. I stared at them for a moment.   
“What the hell do you think?” I sighed.   
“Well, I always think keeping it neutral is a good idea. Sonograms can be wrong. Yellow is nice.” Simon said. I looked at him interested. Didn’t know he knew what a sonogram was. I barely knew.  
“Eh...let’s go with green. Mary fucking loves green.” I said. Simon nodded and picked up the two large buckets of paint and started out. I stopped by the pile of baby shit again. I picked up something that looked like a torture device.   
“What in the holy fuck is this fucking thing?” I asked. Simon turned and chuckled.   
“It’s a breast pump. For Mary.” He said.   
“A breast pump? What the fuck she need that for?” I asked.  
“Okay, I’ll radio the guys, make sure they pick you up some books. Clearly you need them. It’s to pump the milk from her breasts. Pretty self explanatory.” He said.   
“Isn’t that what the baby is for?”  
“Well, she’ll more than likely have way more than the baby can eat in a sitting. She’ll need to pump or it can get painful. Sometimes, babies don’t like to breastfeed and it’s easier with bottles. Also, so you can feed the baby when she isn’t around. It’s pretty important.” He explained. I stared at him, dumbfounded.   
“How the hell do you know that shit?” I asked.   
“I had a wife and we had a baby before all this.I had a shit dad, I didn’t want to be one. I made sure I knew everything.” Simon said, a sad look coming over him. Damn. I knew better than that. We got upstairs with a few saviors willing to help.   
“Alright boys. Paint it green.” I instructed. We all got to work. I wanted to paint it. I wanted to be apart of making the nursery. It felt wrong to just have someone else do it. This was my baby. I would personally make sure they had a nice place to sleep.   
We finished rather quickly. It look pretty damn good. Peaceful. I made the boys clean up and headed downstairs. The truck would be coming in from the run. I wanted to meet it. Simon and I got down just in time. The truck pulled in and a few Saviors started unloading it. Gunshots rang out and that dumbass kid in the hat jumped out with a gun in his hand. My men on the ground, dead. The heat was radiating off me as the anger grew. They got him to the ground pretty easily.   
“Oh kid, this was a real bad fucking idea. I was having a good day. Now you come along and fucked it all up.” I growled. 

Mary’s POV

“Wow, I was not prepared for what a workout that was.” Lacey said out of breath.   
“Really kicking us back into shape.” Angela laughed.   
“You’ll be getting into shape, while I’ll be getting round.” I laughed.   
“Are you excited?” lacey asked.   
“Yeah. It feels like it’s not real. Like it happened in a dream or something. But I am.” I said.   
“If you need anything just tell us. We’ll help out. Babysit when you need it.” Angela smiled.   
“Thanks.” I smiled.   
“Need a few extra people out front. We have a situation. Don’t tell Mary.” Arat’s walkie crackled with Negan’s voice coming through. Arat sighed and looked at me with a sympathetic look. I grabbed it from her.   
“Don’t tell Mary what exactly?” I barked into the device.   
“It’ll upset you. I don’t want you upset.” Negan sighed. I growled and shoved the walkie back to Arat and started for the front gate.   
“Maybe listen to him. It might not be great for your condition to be so riled up.” Arat said. I shot her a look and she put her hands up. I burst through the doors, spotting the leather jacket.   
“What happened Negan?” I growled. He turned, his eyes wide.   
“Sugar, you’re not going to like it.” He sighed. There were men on the ground around him.   
“Who...who killed them?” I questioned. Negan sighed and stepped to the side. Carl was on the ground with two Saviors holding him.   
“...Carl?” I gasped.   
“Sugar-” I put my hand up, stopping him from speaking.   
“Are you that arrogant and stupid? You come in here and kill our people for what? What were you trying to do?” I barked.   
“I wanted to kill him!” Carl growled looking to Negan. My face was burning hot I was so angry.   
“I told you to be better! This isn’t better!” I yelled. “Let him up. He won’t hurt me.” I told the Saviors. They looked to Negan who gave a nod. Carl stood and walked over to me.   
“You shouldn’t be so sure.” Carl growled.   
“You’d hurt your family?” I asked.   
“You aren’t family. You decided that when you left. You aren’t my family!” He growled.   
“Go home Carl. Before you do something stupid enough I can’t save you.”  
“I don’t need you to save me.”   
“Go. Home. Don’t be like dad.”I said. He screamed and threw his fist, connecting with my cheekbone. It sent me flying to the ground. He jumped on top of me, throwing hit after hit, until they finally were able to get him off. 

Negan’s POV

It all happened so fast. Like watching your worst nightmare in slow motion. I was scared. I was angry. I couldn’t move fast enough to stop him. I should have stopped him.  
"You son of a bitch!" I yelled. I brought Lucille up to beat the fucker.   
"Negan!" Mary yelled, her voice cracking. I turned to see her still on the ground, Simon crouched next to her. There were tears in her eyes. Her hand was raised, there was blood. There was blood on her pants, on the ground around her. I dropped the bat and ran to her.   
“It’s okay. It’s fine. Carson will fix it. Arat!” I screamed, unable to hide my emotions. She came running over.   
“Help me get her to Carson.” I said as I picked her up.   
“Boss, the kid?” Simon called.   
“Put that worthless piece of shit in a cell. I’ll deal with him later.” I growled as I ran inside. She was crying in my arms. It broke my fucking heart. I burst into the infirmary and laid her on the closest bed.   
“What happened?” Carson gasped as he saw her, blood everywhere.   
“She got the shit beat of her. Help her!” I yelled. Carson nodded and started working on her. He rolled a machine over put some goo on her belly. He moved the wand around staring at the screen intensely.  
“Is...it..okay?” Mary croaked.   
“It looks like you have a subchorionic hematoma.”  
“Fucking english!” I growled.   
“It’s a bleed between the uterus and the placenta. It’s a bit big, but not the worst I’ve seen. It’s what's causing the bleeding. It can resolve itself. But we need to watch that the bleeding does lessen and eventually stops.” Carson said.   
“So...she isn’t having a miscarriage?” I asked, my voice trembling against my will.   
“No. But if we’re not careful, it can cause miscarriage.” He said.   
“Shit. Thank god.” I sighed grabbing her hand. I looked to her, tears streaming down her face. Her cheek bruised and swollen. Blood falling from her eyebrow.   
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t stop him.” I said shaking my head.   
“No. I trusted him. It’s my fault.” She cried. Carson cleaned her up, gave her a few stitches and I took her back to bed. I laid her down on the bed and went to grab a bag of ice. I wrapped it in a towel and put on her cheek.   
“It felt real.” She murmured.   
“What?”  
“When...when I fell. When he hit me. It felt real. It felt like we were having a baby and about to lose it at the same time.” A tear fell down her cheek. I sighed and hung my head. I thought I had lost everything in a moment. What the hell was I going to do with the kid?


	19. Ch 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan Doles out punishment. There is an unexpected guest. Shit hits the fan.

Negan’s POV

I stood in the doorway of the bathroom, watching Mary’s breaths. She was sound asleep at one in the afternoon. It had been three days since Carl had made the worst mistake of his life. He was sitting in a cell eating dog food. Mary was constantly sleeping now. I think she sleeps so much so she doesn’t have to worry, can’t worry when your asleep. Or at least not outright. Keeps telling me about the weird dreams she has. All anxiety dreams. She won’t talk about Carl. She knows something has to be done. I know. I don’t want to, but I have to punish the kid. I sighed as I walked over and crouched down near the bed. I rubbed her back slightly.   
“Sugar…” I whispered as she started to move. She groaned, not fully waking.   
“Mary...I need you to wake up for a second.” I sighed. She moaned and opened her eyes. She looked me up and down and sighed.   
“We gotta talk. It’s been three days. I have to do something. I’m going down to talk to him now.” I told her.   
“Just...don’t...kill him.” Her voice cracked. I brushed the hair from her face, cupping her cheek.   
“Of course I won’t. I’ll punish him and send him back.” I told her and stood.   
“Negan!” She cried bolting upright, “you’re going to hurt him?” She asked.   
“Sugar, I gotta.” I sighed and started walking for the door. I heard her feet hit the ground and turned on a dime.   
“Negan, please! Don’t.” She said rushing towards me. I ran forward, catching her arms.   
“You gotta get back in bed. Carson said you shouldn’t get out of bed.” I told her. I didn’t want to fight her. The tears were forming in her eyes. She was going to make this as hard as possible. She was so fucking pale. I hate this. I hate it.   
“We can do something else! Like...um...make him work! He can do all the shitty jobs!” She rambled. I hung my head.   
“Sugar, you know that isn’t going to work. I won’t kill him, I won’t make it too bad. But I can’t let him work here. I can’t just let him go.” I told her. The tears falling down her face. Dammit.   
“He’s...he’s my brother...I don’t want him hurt…” She sobbed. I wrapped her up in my arms. I picked her up and carried her back to bed. I laid her down and knelt by the bedside.   
“You need to rest.” I told her.   
“Negan, please. Please don’t do this.”   
“Sugar, I wish I didn’t have to.” I told her.   
“We can think of something else!” She cried. It was breaking my heart, I hung my head so she wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes.   
“I have to do this. Please don’t make this any harder.” I said.   
“Negan, he’s a kid! He’s stupid!”   
“Sugar, he stopped being a kid when he shot that gun.”   
“Don’t, please don’t do this!” She cried. I held her face in my hands, tears stinging my eyes.   
“I love you Sugar.” I told her and I got up and started for the door.   
“Negan! Negan don’t!” She yelled after me. I closed the door and could still hear her sobs. It fucking hurt. It pissed me off, this kid did this. He killed my people. He almost took our baby from us! Now he’s making me do this to her! I started walking, when I saw Angela coming down the hall.   
“Angela, do me a favor?” I asked her. She turned to look at me confused.   
“Um, depends on the favor…” She said. I sighed and shook my head.  
“Not like that. Mary is really upset. Can you keep her company? You’re one of the best friends she’s got here. I doubt she’d want Joey sitting with her and I don’t have time to find Aaron.” I sighed.   
“Oh. Yeah. Is this about Carl?”   
“Yes. I’m heading down to deal with him now. She’s not happy about it. She...she was getting really worked up. I don’t want her alone like that, not with everything that’s happened.” I cleared my throat, trying to disguise any wobble in my voice.   
“Okay. Go, do what you have to. I’ll be with her.” She nodded.   
“Listen...if after this, she doesn’t want to see me, would you stay with her. Like, be her roommate?”   
“Negan, my room isn’t-”  
“No, you’d stay in our room. She needs to be comfortable.”   
“Yeah. I will. But she knows you don’t want to do this. She knows this has to happen. She’ll forgive you.” Angela said before walking away. I wasn’t so sure.   
I walked up to the door Simon stood in front of. This was going to suck. I knew the kid was going to fight, make it hard.   
“He been eating or starving himself?” I asked.   
“Not a bite. Forced water down his throat this morning. He’s been throwing himself against the door. Had Carson come stitch up a gash on his forehead.” Simon said. I sighed and nodded.   
“Let’s get this over with.” Simon swung the door open and I walked in. The kid was huddled in the corner.   
“Kept his clothes on. Didn’t think you’d want it otherwise.”   
“Damn right. He’s a murderer, but he’s still a fucking kid.” I growled walking towards him. He didn’t look at me. Didn’t speak. Nothing.   
“You kill my men, you beat my wife, and you won’t even look at me. FUCKING LOOK AT ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!” I screamed, rage filled every part of me. He lifted his head and glared at me.   
“Much better.” I laughed. I crouched down in front of him. He hated me. I hated him.  
“Now, kid. If you had just killed my men, I wouldn’t have as much of a problem, Hell! I was a little impressed! But here’s the thing, you hurt Mary. That, that is a big no-no. That is a huge mistake!” I growled.   
“She deserved it. Being here with you after all you’ve done.” He spat.   
“You have no idea the deep shit you are in, do you?” I said.   
“Just kill me. I don’t care! I tried to kill you, I’ll keep trying!” He yelled.   
“Hurt me, try to kill me all you fucking want, kid. But when you put Mary in harm's way, that is when I have a problem.”  
“You’ll all fall one day. Mary too.” He said.   
“Just keep digging that hole. Your sister is pregnant. She was pregnant when you threw her to the ground and beat her. She bled because of you. We almost lost….You hurt her, you hurt my baby! DO YOU GET IT NOW!?!?” I screamed. A look of shock came over his face. I didn’t know if he regretted that he hurt the baby and Mary or if it was just the fucking fact she was pregnant with my baby.   
“Is...did...she…” He mumbled.   
“She is still pregnant, despite your stupidity. That’s my fucking kid in there, you think they’re going down easy? Naw.” I smiled.   
“I want to see her. I don’t believe you. I want to see her, hear it from her.”   
“Nope. I have to punish you.” I stood.   
“Let me see her!” He jumped up. I landed a hit to his ribs.   
“Sit the fuck down.” I growled. He stumbled back against the wall. I took the knife from my belt.   
“You can keep still and this won’t hurt too bad, or you can try and fight me and make it worse.” I told him. He looked to the ceiling as I pushed his shoulder into the wall, Simon grabbing the other one. I put the knife on his cheek and pulled down. Blood falling where my knife cut. I cut from below his eye down to the middle of his cheek. He didn’t make a sound.   
“Carson get in here!” Simon yelled. Carson came running in with his med bag.   
“Stitch him up. Not too good. We want that to scar.” I smiled. Carson stitched his face up.   
“It’s deep. It was going to scar anyway.” Carson lowered his head and left.   
“I want to see Mary. I want to hear it from her mouth.” Carl growled.   
“You want to see her? Fine! We’ll go fucking see her and you can apologize!! You can beg for her forgiveness!” I grabbed him by the collar and stomped out of the cell. We stomped up the stairs and down the hall to our door.   
“You say anything I deem unacceptable and I will rain pain down on you.” I growled. I slammed the door open, Mary jumped up in bed. Angela dropped the book she was reading. I brought Carl into the middle of the room and kicked him to his knees.   
“He doesn’t believe me. He thinks I’m lying about you being pregnant when he beat you.” I was seething. Mary looked from me to Carl.   
“It’s true. It’s true...you...you almost took my baby from me…” Her voice quivered. Carl’s face fell, he hung his head.   
“You hurt her. You made her bleed. Then you tell me, you don’t regret hurting her, that she’ll fall one day. That you won’t stop trying to kill me. You got balls kid. But I could kill you right now with my bare fucking hands! I won’t. You should thank Mary for that. You should beg for her to forgive you!” I screamed.   
“If...if I had known I wouldn’t have hurt you. But I don’t regret killing those men. Not for a second.” He said. I backhanded him.   
“Carl, I hate you right now. I probably always will. Just like you will always hate me. You’re my brother, but know that if you try to hurt my baby or Negan EVER again, I won’t hesitate to kill you.” Mary growled from her bed.   
“That’s my fucking mama bear! Simon!” Simon came in and grabbed the kid.   
“We’re sending you home. Put him in the trunk, do whatever you want. Just get him home alive.” I waved Simon off. He dragged Carl from the room. Silence fell across the room. I wasn’t sure what I was in for.   
I wasn’t thinking. I was beyond anger, beyond rage, and I did a stupid stunt. Did everything to hurt him. I didn’t think how it would hurt Mary. Now that it was fading, I realized how stupid I was. I looked up at her, kneeling on the bed. She looked at me, but I didn’t see anger. Her face scrunched up and she fell back onto the bed, sobs wracking her body.   
“Shit.” I sighed. I went to the foot of the bed, just stood there.   
“Um, Angela. Could you have someone bring us up some dinner. She’ll need to eat soon.” I cleared my throat.   
“Yeah, sure thing.” She glared at me. I messed up. Now my soon-to-be wife was sobbing and my ex-wife was pissed. Great. Angela walked over and knelt by Mary’s head.   
“Mary? I’m going to get you some food. I’ll be back. Do you want anything specific?”   
“Chips. Pickles.” Mary sniffled.   
“Alright. I’ll be back.” Angela stood and walked up next to me.   
“You better beg for her forgiveness.” She hissed and left. She was right. I fucking hated it when she was right. I kicked my boots off and climbed into bed beside her, wrapping my arms around her.   
“I’m sorry. I was a hate filled fucking idiot. You didn’t deserve that.” I whispered to her.   
“I didn’t. But he needed to hear that. I needed to say it. But, if you ever pull something like that again, you’ll be finding a new wife.” she said.   
“Understood.” I said pulling her close. She turned to face me.   
“You are an idiot. But I love you still.” She sighed.   
“You’re the best human on this planet. Thank you. I love you.” I pulled her into a kiss.   
“How are you feeling?” I asked.   
“Tired. Hungry. But fine. No bleeding. Just have to keep it up for the next eight months.” She said. I nodded, my hand sitting on her belly.   
“They are going to be such a badass. Just like their mama.”  
“Just like their papa.” She smiled. We held onto each other and unintentionally fell asleep. We were woken by a knock on the door.   
“Shit.” I grumbled shitting up. Mary started getting up, I waved her down.   
“It’s the food, I’ll get it.” I stood and walked to the door. I opened it surprised to see Aaron with two trays of food.  
“Oh. Thought Angela was bringing it up.” I grumbled.   
“Should I go get her?” He asked.   
“What? No. Put it on the table. Mary, It’s-”  
“Aaron!” She was suddenly behind me and taking the trays from him and putting them down. He engulfed her in a hug.   
“I wanted to bring it up. I wanted to see how you were doing.” He smiled.   
“You could just come see me. You don’t need to bring me food to do that.” She laughed.   
“I wasn’t sure the protocol.”  
“Dude, you know her. You can just come see her. I don’t give a fuck.” I sighed sitting down at the table.  
“I’ll let you eat, I still have some work to finish up in the garden. I’ll come by tomorrow. You look good.” He smiled, hugged her and left. Mary sat across from me.   
“Why didn’t you tell him about Carl?” I asked.   
“He doesn’t need to know. He’s been through enough, being kicked out. Let him live in blissful ignorance for as long as he can.” She said as she ate. I watched her for a moment. She was fucking incredible.   
“You’re a badass you know.” I told her. She looked up, a bit of pickle hanging out the side of her mouth.   
“Mmhmm. I know.” She said threw a mouthful of food. I laughed and went back to eating.   
“Negan, I want to get married.” She said, pushing her tray away.   
“We are Sugar. I got you that nice ring to prove it.” I smiled.   
“No, like tomorrow or soon at least. Before the baby is here. It just...it feels like something we should do before the baby is here.” She said. I looked at her for a second, took a sip of water and leaned back in my chair.   
“Okay. We can get married whenever you want. Just thought you wanted something nice.”   
“Kind of. I don’t know. I just want to be married to you. It’d be nice to get dressed up, but we’ll never find nice clothes. Besides, I’ll start ballooning soon and I won’t fit anything. The priority when comes to clothes are maternity clothes and baby clothes not a wedding dress.” She said in one breath.   
“Um, well okay. You want a preacher or what?”   
“I was never religious, I sure as shit ain’t now.” She snorted.   
“Okay. Well, then we can do it now.” I said.   
“Now?” She looked surprised and confused. I got up and went to my dresser and pulled a velvet box out.   
“I told Simon to hit a jewelry store a while ago, start looking for wedding rings. He brought these back.” I showed her the platinum rings. A simple band for me and a ring that looked like a branch with flowers blooming for her. People say I’m not romantic. I got romance coming out my asshole.  
“It’s beautiful. But don’t we need someone to officiate or something?” She asked.   
“Sugar it is the end of the world. We can do as we damn well please.” I smiled.   
“You sure?”   
“I already call you my wife. Mind as well.” I smiled.   
“But you don’t have vows written.”   
“Sugar, I can think of a million things to say to you. I don’t need to write it down. It’ll be a mess, but it’ll be nice. Do you want this? It seems like you’re looking for an out here.”   
“No! I want to. I don’t want an out.” She smiled.   
“Good, ‘cause you’re outs went out the window once that little guy happened.” I pointed to her belly making her laugh. I reach out and held her hand.   
“Mary Grimes, you are the baddest lady I have ever met. You drive me crazy and I fucking love it. I was surviving when we met, but now I’m living. You are a fucking ray of sunshine. I swear to you that I will always keep you and our baby safe. I’ll never hurt you, on purpose. If I make you mad or sad, I swear to do everything to make up for it. I fucking love you, Sugar.” I slipped the ring on her finger I could see the tears in her eyes. She picked up my hand, it looked huge in hers.   
“Negan, You are insane. You’re brilliant, and funny and charming. You frustrate me, but I still love you. You trust me to take care of me. You let me fight. You have given me a future to look forward to for the first time since the world ended. You gave me the most amazing, unexpected gift. I will do my best to keep our family safe and happy. I love you.” She said, tears falling down her face as she put the ring on my finger.   
“I think this is the part where we kiss.” I cleared my throat. I pulled her into a kiss, I ran my hands up the back of her neck, tangling in her hair. I felt her fingers take hold of locks and pull me in deeper. We released as we ran out of air.   
“That was special Sugar.” I smiled. She smiled, but it quickly fell as she jumped to her feet and ran to the bathroom, clearly vomiting.   
“I mean, we just got married and I already make her vomit. I’m sure that’s a good sign.” I got up and went to the bathroom and pulled the hair from her face. She cleaned up and looked at me like a kicked puppy.   
“Negan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to puke after our kiss.” She sighed.   
“Sugar, it’s fine. Let’s just think of it as our little guy got too excited and made you puke.” I chuckled.   
“I like that. That was a good kiss.” She wrapped her arms around my waist.   
“It was, a fucking great kiss.” I hummed.   
“Too bad Carson said no sex for a while or you’d be getting some right about now.” She turned and walked away.   
“Cold. Mean and cold.” I said. She laughed. We crawled into bed and got close, as close as we could. I started kissing her neck, when there was a banging at the door.   
“Oh this better be fucking good.” I growled as I got up and threw my pants back on. I ripped the door open.   
“What!?” I barked. Simon stood in front of me, he was bruised and bloody.   
“Jesus, Simon! What the fuck happened?” I asked.   
“Rick. Rick fucking happened. Boss he’s here. He put a damn gun to my head. He’s outside the gates.” He huffed.   
“Just him?” I asked as I put my shirt back on and grabbed my boots.  
“Rick’s here? Why? What does he want?” Mary asked as she got out of bed and started putting leggings on under her nightgown.   
“Don’t know. But he’s pissed after we brought his kid back.” Simon sighed.   
“If he pulls anything I’m going to fucking burst!” I growled throwing my jacket on and grabbing Lucille.   
“I’m coming.” Mary wrapped a sweatshirt around herself.   
“Sugar, don’t. It won’t end well.” I told her.   
“I might be the only one he’ll actually listen to.” She right. I nodded and we all ran down to the front. I walked out to the edge of the platform at the top of the stairs and saw Rick standing in his truck bed.   
“Prick! The fuck you want? I’m on my motherfucking honeymoon!” I smiled. I saw him tense.   
“You’re going to pay for what you did to my boy!” He growled.   
“Look at you! You’re deranged! I have a fucking army! It’s just you! You think you can get anywhere here?” I laughed.   
“I want Mary home! I’m tired of this! She belongs with us!” Rick yelled.   
“I belong where I’m happy! I’m happy with him, I’m happy here!” Mary said.   
“He cut your brother’s face! He’s killed our people!” Ricked growled.   
“Carl did this to my face!” Mary growled pointing to her swollen, bruised face, stitches in one eyebrow.   
“He hit me, he knocked me to the ground! I almost lost my baby because of him! He got off lightly!” She growled. Rick’s face grew angrier.   
“Come home. We’ll help you. You’ll be safe.” Rick said.   
“I’m safe here. I have a doctor here. I won’t die like mom here.” She said.   
“She would be so disappointed.”   
“In me or you?” Mary said.   
“That’s my lady!” I hollered.   
“This is a big mistake.” Rick growled before he jumped back in his truck and drove off.   
“Angela!” I called across the yard. She came running up.   
“I need you to take Mary back to the room. Remember to get her to drink water. I need to go talk to Simon.” Angela nodded.   
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here.” Mary spat.   
“I’m sorry, Sugar. You need to hydrate. You’re vomiting so much you’re going to have no water left. I won’t be long. I promise. Simon!” I started walking down the halls.   
“Boss? What are we going to do?” He asked.   
“You’re going to build an escape tunnel out of this place. We’re going to make a safe house. I have a feeling Rick the Prick will be back with friends. He’ll need time to plan. So will we. Our first priority is a tunnel out of here and some place safe for Mary.”


	20. Ch 20

Negan’s POV

It had been a month since Rick rolled up threatening me. He had been quiet. It had not gone unnoticed. I upped security ten-fold. We would not be caught with our pants down. Simon had started working on the tunnel. Made some good progress. We stood outside the Sanctuary, at the side of the main building.   
“It seems real fucking obvious. It’s sticking out the side. Can’t we make it smaller? Look like a vent or some shit?” I questioned Simon.   
“If she wasn’t pregnant, and if there wasn’t possibility of her holding a baby while she escapes, then we could. But the safest option is stairs rather than a ladder.” He said.   
“You’re right. I just...hate that they might shoot at it. I don’t know. It’s fine. How’s the rest?”  
“Coming along. We have about half a mile to go before we’re finished. The way we’re working the people, tunnel should be finished in two weeks. We have a team cleaning up the house. Stocking with supplies, medicine. Should be all ready in two weeks.” He said.   
“Just...work as fast as you can without killing anyone.” I sighed and walked away. I didn’t know if we had two weeks. I didn’t know if we had two days. Everything was uncertain now.   
I opened the door to my room and frowned as I noticed it was fucking empty. I looked around for a minute, until I heard humming from the nursery. I walked in to find Mary looking through the books we found, putting them in the bookcase. It fucking broke my heart that she might not get this nursery. That the baby might not get a nice place anymore.   
“You supposed to sit on the floor like that? I could do this ya know.” I sat down next to her.   
“Well, my back does hurt. But I think I’m capable of putting books on a shelf.” She smiled.   
“No doubt. You know….this might be for nothing. Getting it ready.” I sighed.   
“Stop. Rick may be a dick. But he probably won’t hurt me.” She said looking back down at the books, clearly not convinced by her own words.   
“I needed to get away from the noise anyway. They were particularly loud finishing the stairs today.” She motioned to our room, where the new door to the escape route was. I watched her for a moment as she looked through the books, her hand resting absent mindedly on her small belly. She had just started to show. It was adorable.   
“Come on, sitting like this can’t be good for your back. Let’s have dinner.” I said pulling her to her feet.   
“Alright, you persuaded me. I can’t turn down food.” She laughed.   
“I know! Look at that belly!” I put my hands on her stomach. She laughed and smacked my arm. We made our way to the cafeteria, sitting at our table. A few minutes later a shaking teenager placed trays of food in front of us and ran off.   
“I’m drawing you up a map and instructions for how to get to the safe house. Should be pretty easy.” I told her. She looked at me confused.   
“Why? You’ll be there, you can just show me.” She shrugged and went back to eating. I sighed and put my fork down.   
“Sugar, I probably won’t be. If something happens, I’ll need to try to defend the place. I’ll have to buy you some time.” She looked at me, there was sadness and anger in her eyes.   
“No. You’re coming with me.” She stated.   
“Sugar, you’ll need time to get the fuck out of here. It’s my job to give you that. But I’ll come for you as soon as I can. I’ll be there.” I told her.   
“I can’t do this without you. I won’t. You better fucking come back to me.” She growled.   
“I’ll do my best. Just for you.” I smiled. 

Mary’s POV

I sat in the rocking chair in the nursery, thinking. This was perfect. It looked like a proper nursery, a nice one too. But I couldn’t hold on to it. It seemed I didn’t get a chance to enjoy having a baby. That’s what is supposed to happen. You’re supposed to be all happy and getting ready and thinking of names and buying cute clothes and just excited. We didn’t get to have that. It was back to survival mode. But it was different now. Now, I had another life to worry about. One that wasn’t even born yet. It felt like too much. I put my head in my hands and started to cry. I wanted a normal life. But that didn’t exist anymore. I didn’t hear Negan walk in, but felt his hands on my thighs. I looked up at him with raw, red eyes.   
“I just...I just want to be with you, I just want to be happy with you. I don’t want to fight anymore!” I sobbed. He wrapped me up in his arms. I clung onto him, burying my face in the crook of his neck.   
“I know, Mary. I know. We just have to fight a little longer.” He rubbed circles on my back.   
“I don’t know if I can…” I sighed.   
“I know you can. But I’m gonna fight for the both of us. And we’ll be okay. We’ll have the baby and be a great big happy fucking family. Wearing shit-eating grins all the damn time.” He said.   
“Just...promise you’ll come back to us.” I sighed.   
“Always will.” He cupped my face in his hands, wiping the tears with his thumbs.   
“Maybe we can negotiate a truce. Maybe if I talk to him, he’ll see we don’t need to do this.” I sniffled.   
“I’m not sending you there to talk to him. I know he’s your father, but I won’t take the risk.” Negan sighed.   
“He won’t hurt me. He wouldn’t hurt a pregnant woman. He’s not gone that crazy.” I said.   
“I can’t do it, Mary. I can’t put you in danger like that.”   
“Negan, let me try to get through to him. Maybe Michonne will listen-”  
“No! It’s too dangerous and we have a baby to think about! We already almost lost them. I can’t take it again…” He stood and walked out of the room. I followed him in the room. He wouldn’t face me.   
“Negan...I just hate that there isn’t anything I can do. I feel like I should be doing more.” I sighed.   
“You’re doing more than most. Can’t that be enough? Can’t you just stay here and be safe and that be enough?” He said his head hung low. I put my hand on his back.   
“Negan…” He abruptly turned and pulled me into him. I wrapped my arms around him, confused by the sudden emotion.   
“It fucking hurt to see you like that, when we almost...it fucking hurt. It broke my damn heart that we almost lost them. I can’t go through that again. I fucking...can’t.” I felt drops fall onto my shirt. I clung onto him tighter.   
“I know.” I whispered. I pulled away to look at his face. I don’t think I’d seen him cry. He told me he did when I was shot, but I never saw it. His face was red and puffy, his eyes were bloodshot. I held his head in my hands.   
“I won’t bring it up again. I’m happy here, I’m happy with you. I guess I just want to protect all of this. But I have to stop now. I have to give it to you. It’s hard for me. I always defended my family and myself. I never had a moment when I could just stop.” I sighed.   
“I’ll make sure you’re both safe and happy. You never have to doubt that.” He said pulling me to his lips. We were interrupted by a knock at the door. I leaned my head against his forehead.   
“Just, don’t answer it.” I sighed.   
“I won’t.” He smiled. The banging continued.   
“Boss! Boss, he’s here!” Simon’s voice called. Our heads shot up and we looked at each other as if it might be the last time. Negan pulled paper from his pocket and handed it to me.   
“Follow the instructions. The tunnel isn’t built all the way, but there is a way out where they finished for the day. Things are more vague then I’d like but you’ll make it. Walkie?” I ran to the bedside table and pulled it out of the drawer.   
“Channel two. Simon will give you the signal to go.” He told me. He started for the door.   
“Negan! Wait!” I ran after him, he met me halfway. I pulled him to a kiss, tears streaked down my face. He held onto me for a long while, Simon banging on the door.   
“I love you.” I sobbed.   
“I fucking love you too, Sugar. Remember, get out of here fast when you get the signal. I’ll come get you when I can. Or...Simon will. Somebody will find you.” He sighed brushing the hair from my face. He opened the door and left. I sat on the bed, tears streaking down my face, alone. My hand fell to my belly. I started to wonder if I would have to do all of this alone. I started to wonder if I could. 

Negan’s POV

I ran down the halls. My mind racing. Would she make it there? Would they figure it out? What would she do if I had to kill Rick? I shook my head. I needed to focus. I walked out onto the platform. Rick and his crew had cars around the front gate, metal welded to the cars. They were shielded completely.   
“I’m sorry, I was in a meeting.” I smiled.   
“Now it’s no use wasting lead on ya, with your redneck barricade. I won’t march my people into the line fire because I wanna play my dick is bigger than yours. It is. We both know it. But I’m also comfortable enough to accept the fact if it wasn’t. I’m certainly not going to let my people die over it, like you’re about to. So let’s talk.” I said.   
“You’re Simon. You’re Dwight, your name is Gavin. You...what’s your name?” Rick called from behind his metal shield.  
“Regina.”   
“Give up now. You will be shown mercy.” Rick called. I laughed.   
“Come on Rick, what about me?” I said.   
“I told you already. You’re going to die.” He growled.   
“Killing your son-in-law, father of your grandbaby. That isn’t a good look Prick!” I snarled.   
“She’s coming home with us. You brainwashed her, we’ll fix it.” Rick said.   
“I. Did. Not! Brainwash her! She loves me with her own free will!! You come here, threaten me! Insult me!” I growled banging Lucille on the metal railing.   
“You took her from me!!”  
“I offered her a safe place, where she can be herself, be independent! She took it! Can’t blame me for your failings Prick!”   
“Stop!!! Just stop!” I squeezed my eyes shut. Her voice breaking through all other noise.  
“Please, Mary, go back inside.” I turned and pleaded with her.   
“Just...just let me try.” She said looking up at me with her big doe eyes. I rubbed a hand down my face with a sigh. I gave a small nod.   
“ This has to stop. We can negotiate. Work together.” She said walking closer to the rail, I could feel their shaking guns pointed at her. My blood was boiling.   
“Mary, stop this. I’ve had enough, you’re coming home whether it’s on your own or by us taking you.” Rick yelled.   
“You’d take me from a place that I’m happiest? From the person who makes me happy?” She asked.   
“He’s not good for you! He’s a monster!” Rick growled.   
“He’s my husband, he’s the father of my baby.” Her voice cracking, her hand resting on her belly. All of this was making me nervous. There was a long pause. It was silent. I could feel Rick’s wheels turning from where I stood.   
“Mary, you tried. Now, go back inside.Please.” I whispered to her.   
“Just...give him a minute.” She begged.   
“Please, go inside. For them.” I put my hand on her belly. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. She gave a nod.   
“I want to kiss you, but I think it might aggravate things.” She whispered. I nodded and she disappeared back inside. I cleared my throat before speaking again.  
“Now, Rick. What happens now?” I asked. There was more silence. Maybe she did stop it. Maybe she fixed all of it. If anyone could, it’d be her.   
“Now!” Rick’s voice screamed. Gunfire screamed in the air, they aimed at the glass, they hit the windows, glass raining down on us. Their RV came bursting through the gates. I ran for cover behind a large bit of metal that fell from the RV. I couldn’t catch my breath. I felt a sharp stinging in my leg. I looked down and saw red seeping through my pants. They clipped me, dammit! I had to get out of here or I’m lunch for the dead fucks! I had a small window to run from the gunfire and dead fuckers. I took a breath and ran. I brought Lucille down into more than one walker. I ran into the trailer. Fuck. How the hell was I getting out of here. 

Mary’s POV

I heard the gunfire start, despite myself I ran toward the door. Simon caught me and held me back.   
“You can’t go out there! You can’t! It’s overrun.” Simon told me.   
“Where is he? Simon...where is he!?!” I grabbed his shirt.   
“Mary...he got clipped. He fell, I couldn’t grab him. I don’t know. I don’t know if he made it…” He shook his head. I looked at him aghast.   
“No...no. Simon we have to get him! He might need our help!” I said trying to shake him off, but he kept his firm hold.   
“He’d kill me if I let you out there. We can’t go out there without a plan.”  
“You’re wasting time!” I yelled.   
“I’m not putting anyone in danger without a plan!” He yelled.   
“Just let me go!”  
“You have to stop!! You’re being stupid and selfish! You got a baby in there to think about!!” Simon yelled, shaking me. I looked up at him surprised. He’d shaken me to my core. He was right.   
“I...I can’t do this without him…” my voice cracked.   
“Yes, you can. But we don’t know if he is dead. Let’s go figure out what’s next.” Simon sighed. I nodded and walked away toward the conference room. My hands won’t stop shaking. He can’t be dead. I feel it. He’s alive. I need him to be.


	21. Ch 21

Ch 21

 

Mary’s perspective.

  
  


The sunlight danced across my eyelids, gently waking me up. I squinted, looking around the room. It was quiet, but there was a distant sound. Music? I groaned as I sat up, rubbing my eyes. Something was missing? What was missing. I stood next to the bed, looking around. I was cold. My hand was cold. The music hit my ear again. I padded toward the noise. I tripped over a bunny. 

I walked into the nursery. The music louder. No. Singing. Bad singing. Negan sat in the rocking chair, holding something? What? Baby. My baby? My baby. I smiled and stood in the doorway. 

 

_ “She overheated! I’m doing everything I can!” _

_ “You better fucking fix her up doc. Nobody will be able to save your pathetic ass if Negan’s alive and you don’t save her!”  _

 

“I didn’t know you could sing.” I smiled. Negan looked up at me and raised his eyebrows. 

“Did you hear me just then? I can’t.” He smirked. I walked over to him. Pink. Blanket. I looked down at the baby. No face. Beautiful? Why?

“She doesn’t seem to mind.” I smiled. 

“She barely has a brain. She’ll hate it later.” He chuckled. 

 

_ “Her blood pressure is dropping. Get me the IV kit!” _

_ “She can’t fucking die doc! She fucking can’t!” _

_ “I’m trying Simon!” _

 

“You can’t stay here, ya know. You have to get back.” Negan said. 

“Get back where?”

“Home.” He reached up to caress my face. Warm again. Home. 

“You’re home.” He smiled up at me. He looked at the baby. My heart aches. I want to cry. Pink. I want to cry. Negan. I want to scream out. I feel broken. 

“Let’s have another one. I want to try for a boy.” He smiled. 

“What if we only have girls?”

“Then I’ll be happy with my gaggle of girls.”

“Gaggle? How many are we having?”

“As many as we can.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“Go Sugar. Home.” He said. Something in his eyes. Orange?

 

_ “Her blood pressure is evening out. Breath is coming back to normal. Pack the ice. We got her.” _

_ “Come on Mary. We need you.” _

 

Fire in his eyes. I turned. Flames climbing the walls. Panic. Have to get out. Baby? Have to get out. I turn. Negan lumbers towards me.  _ His eyes. Glazed. Blood flowing from his neck. Bit. Green. Gone. I scream. I scream. Baby!?  _

 

“Her temp is coming down. Mary? Mary, can you hear me? We need you to wake up now Mary.”

“You’re fucking lucky Doc.”

 

_ I can’t find her! I can’t find her! The flames roar around me. Negan groans and chases after me. I can’t do it! I can’t! He lurks towards me. Where is she!? I turn. Something on the ground. Moving? I go towards it. What? Groans. No. Green. Baby. No!  _

 

“No!!!” I screamed snapping up in bed. My head spinning. The light too bright. 

“Easy Mary. Easy. You overheated. You had a heat stroke. But we got you back. You need to take it easy.” Carson told me, pushing me back down into bed. 

“Where’s Negan?” I mumbled. 

“We still don’t know.” Simon sighed. I shook my head. 

“The baby?” My voice cracked. 

“Looks okay. You’ll stay in here for a while until I’m positive you’re both okay.” Carson said. I nodded. What the hell was that dream? I’ve never dreamt like that in my life. 

“Have you come up with a plan yet?” I asked Simon. He looked to the ground and shook his head. 

“Why the hell not!?!” I barked. 

“We’re all working on it. It’s complicated.”

“Fucking do your job and fix it!!” I yelled. He gave a shaky nod and left.

“What happened, Carson?” I groaned sitting up. 

“They had to turn the generators off to conserve fuel. You were in the meeting. Everyone is hot. But it’s easy for you to overheat. You started speaking odd, got pale. You passed out. We got your temperature down. They are going to make sure your room is kept cool still.” Carson told me. 

“I have to help. I have to figure out a plan.” I mumbled as I tried to get up. Carson pushed me down. 

“You need to rest. They will work on it.” 

“Negan is still out there!! I’m not stopping until he’s back in here!!” I growled. I climbed out of bed. My skin wet from the ice packed around me. I threw on my clothes and started for the conference room. I wasn’t going to leave Negan hanging. If no one could figure this out. I fucking would.

 

Negan’s POV

I stood staring at that creepy priest fucker. Sizing him up. He was shitting himself. I ran towards him, threw him to the ground. 

“Gun, full clip?” I chuckled. 

“I didn’t have enough, there was no point.” He groaned. 

“Yeah but you could have gone out fighting, ya pussy.” I smiled putting the gun in the back of my jeans. 

“I ain’t gonna kill ya. Not yet anyway. Have to get the fuck out of this first.” I sighed sitting against the wall. The groans of the dead loud from outside the trailer. 

“Why is a priest fighting a war? Seems...un-priestly.” I smiled. 

“My fear is dying for no reason. If I die, I want it to be for a purpose.” Father said. 

“Well, Gabby. That sucks, because that’s how we all go. Every single fuck on this planet wants to die for a purpose, but we don’t. We die for no damn reason.” I grumbled. 

“That’s your’s to believe.” 

“Yeah? You think I’m wrong?”

“Yes.” He glared daggers at me. 

“Well then, Gabby. Tell me what the purpose my death will be if we get fucking munched on today?” I growled.

“So others may live a better, more peaceful life.” He smirked. I snarled.

“And what about Mary? Our unborn baby? There lives won’t be better.” I growled. 

“Perhaps I’m here for another purpose. Perhaps I’m here to hear your confession.” He gave a creepy smile. 

“I ain’t got nothing to confess to you. Except that I rubbed one out where you’re sittin’.” I smirked. 

“You’ve done things, terrible things. You have nothing to confess?” 

“I just want to get the fuck out of here and back to Mary.” I sighed. 

“You care about her? Truly?” He asked. I looked at him. I could feel the rage bubbling.

“Who do you think you are to question my love for her!?! She is everything! She could try to kill me and I’d thank her! I love her more than anyone...than anyone.” I seethed. Gabriel stared at me for a moment, taken back. 

“Who did you care about before?” He asked. 

“Shut your fucking mouth now.” 

“We’ve seen what you have done. What you can do. Rick...he tells us how terrible you are. But...you’re human. A man. I had doubts about you. About your true love for Mary. But maybe I was wrong.” He sighed. 

“I want to kill ya Gabby, but I won’t. As much as people think, I don’t like killing people.” I told him. The panels of wood keeping the walkers away from us started to moan. A dead fuck broke through. We both jumped back. 

“Tell me, would you die for her to survive?” Gabriel asked me. I punched him in the nose.

“Stop talking.” I barked. 

 

Mary’s POV

 

“We have to figure this out! We’re running out of water and food!” I yelled, slamming my fist on the table. 

“Maybe we go on the roof-”  
“They have snipers.” I grumbled. 

“This is ridiculous.” Simon sighed. 

“Yes, it is. You people are supposed to be the best here and you can’t fucking figure this out!!” I yelled. There was a loud crash and screams. 

“What now!!” I ran to the door and started towards the noise. A fucking truck ran through the wall, letting the walkers into the sanctuary. People were screaming, dying. 

“Shit!” I yelled. Simon grabbed my arm. 

“Go. Get to the safe house.” He said shoving a walkie into my hand. I nodded and ran. My heart was beating out of chest. I ran up the stairs towards my room. I didn’t see Negan in the hoard. Maybe that was a good sign. Maybe they’d eaten too much, there wasn’t anything left. I shook my head, bursting into the room. I opened the door and started down the stairs. I was sweating. Everything was going so very wrong. I ran as fast as the mud would let my feet. I tripped, falling into the mud. I groaned and pulled myself up. Mud and sweat dripping down my face. I got to the end and climbed my way up. I was completely unfamiliar with where I was. I pulled the paper from my pocket. 

_ Keep walking west until you come to the tree that is split in two. _

Simple enough. I can do this. I started walking, looking for the tree. My nerves were starting to get to me. Ten minutes in and I still found no tree split in two! I wanted to punch things, throw things. Throw a temper tantrum. But I took a deep breath and forced myself to keep going. The sun was setting. I had no flash light. I was starting to get cold, and scared. I finally found the tree. 

_ Turn left and walk for about five minutes. You’ll see a house with a bush that looks like a dick. Stay there. I’ll come get you. _

I wanted to laugh, but I wanted to cry. He might never come get me. Shit. I did as he said and came upon a mansion not a house. Looked like it was a plantation house back in the day. I walked up, gun drawn. I carefully walked in the house. I went through every level making sure I was alone. I was completely alone. I walked into the living room. There was a note taped to the light switch. 

_ Basement. Turn on the generator. _

I went to the basement and revved it up. I had power. More than what we had back home. I light up the living room and saw another note on a dvd case that simply said,  _ play me. _ I sighed as I put it in and hit play. Negan’s face popped up. A big, dumb smile on his face. 

_ Hey, Sugar. Glad you got here. Not too shabby, right? I gotta keep my girl comfy! I know you aren’t happy that I’m not there. I will be soon. I’ll always come back for you. I love you. Even if I don’t….I swear to you my damn ghost will keep you safe. I’ll haunt Simon and all of them if they don’t keep you safe and happy! But since I might not get the chance, I wanted to tell you some important things.  _

_ When you told me you were pregnant, I almost shit myself. I swear! I’ve never been so scared in my life. But god damn if I wasn’t the happiest bastard on the planet! I just...don’t want to mess this kid up. All I know is that they have the best momma in the world. Sugar….You gave me more than I deserve. Sugar, I would give you the world on a silver platter if I could. I need you to be strong for me now. This is the hard part. Ya gotta trust me. Everything I’ve done is for you. I need...I need you to know that you finally gave me a reason to live. You’re my whole reason. Sugar, I fucking adore you.  _ He let out a sigh and turned the camera off. I didn’t realize I was crying until the screen faded to black and I saw my reflection. I laid on the couch and sobbed. Everything was going wrong. 


	22. Ch 22

Mary’s POV

 

Two days and no sign of anyone coming to get me. No Negan, no Simon. I Kept my head, didn’t think too much. Luckily, Negan had supplied the house with thousands of books to occupy my brain. Try and keep it from going to the worst case scenario. Which still happened. All the time. 

How long would this last? Would there be a Sanctuary to come home to? Would I see him again? As much as I tried not to think, I couldn’t stop it. I just want to see him one last time. Kiss him one last time. 

Night was the worst. My nerves would get the best of me. My anxiety high, as the dark lurked in. I sat on the couch, playing Negan’s video, one more time before bed. A nightly ritual. I heard the muffled sounds of someone falling outside. My head snapping towards the front door. I quickly turned the tv off, as well as the lights. I grabbed my gun from the side table and stood up against the wall. I heard the door creak open. I felt the sweat starting. Could I fight back? Should I? Would fighting make it worse? Would they spare me for the sake of my baby? Or might the fact I’m pregnant make it a twisted highlight for them?

I heard muffled sounds of whispering. I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I heard someone walking closer. With each footstep, my heart sped up. They stood next to me and I brought the handle of my gun into their face. They let out a scream, as did three other people. 

“Wait! Wait! It’s me! It’s Aaron!” He held his hands up, cursing under his breath. I flicked the lights on to find Aaron holding his nose as blood poured from it and Lacey, Angela and Eric behind him. 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” I said putting the gun down and rushing to him. 

“It’s okay, just protecting yourself. Maybe should have announced our presence.” He chuckled. I grabbed a washcloth from the kitchen to put on his nose. 

“I thought you were going to! Who just barges into someone’s home, let alone a pregnant woman’s in the apocalypse!” Eric scolded as he set down bags.

“It’s so good to see friendly faces!” I said engulfing Eric in a hug. 

“We’re happy to see you alive. No one was getting your transmissions. The walkie was too far out of range. Simon never had a chance to put in the extension stuff for the walkie.” Angela hugged me. 

“We brought extra supplies with us too! Oh! Negan asked us to give this to you,” Lacey said handing me a photo album, “didn’t look incase he threw in nudes.” She snorted. I chuckled and took it. 

“He said...he promised that he’d come get me when things were alright. You guys are here, don’t get me wrong I’m happy you are, but this means it got worse. Right?” I asked. They all looked at each other.

“It got worse. Rick...he got the other communities together and started a war. I mean...the Sanctuary looks like a warzone. There’s bombs and gunfire every minute, all day. He couldn’t put you in harms way like that.” Aaron put a hand on my shoulder. 

“Love, I know what’s going on in that head of yours. This isn’t your fault. Rick...he was always going to start a war. It’s his nature, or at least it is now. Negan said he’d come get you when things stopped or it got bad enough we had to run. Let’s hope  for the former.” Eric smiled. He always had a weird ability to read my mind. I nodded. I looked at the cover of the book in my hands, leather, with some intricate floral design. I sat on the couch and opened it. It’s pages were a soft green. A letter sat folded in the first photo pocket. I pulled it out and unfolded it. A grainy, grey picture fell onto my lap. I picked it up and started crying. It was an ultrasound picture from the day Carl attacked me. I took a deep breath and read the letter. 

 

Hey Sugar, I know you’re pissed as shit that I’m not there. I said I’d come for you when it’s safe, I mean it. It ain’t safe yet and you have our little bean to worry about. I know we haven’t had a chance to get a real ultrasound picture and I hate the only one we have is from that shitty day, but we need somewhere to start. Simon found this on a run a while ago. I was going to wait until the baby shower the ladies were planning, but things are complicated now. I started you off. Don’t be mad, I took a few pictures in your sleep. But you wouldn’t let me when you were awake and I know you, you’d hate that we didn’t have pictures of when you started to show. And I put some pictures of me in there for you. Not dirty ones. I was advised against dirty ones. Anyway my dick would take up most of the book, probably for the best. If I don’t make it back to you, make sure they know me. I want them to know what their daddy looked like. It kills me that I can’t be with you. I will end this fucking war for you. So I can get back to you. You just keep safe, keep the bean healthy, that’s all you need to worry about. Dammit Sugar, I love you.

-Negan

My tears stained the page as my shaking hands put the picture in the pocket. Eric sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I turned the page and saw the first page had been filled by Negan. There was a picture of us he took in the long mirror, we’re smiling, his hand on my flat stomach. A picture of me, asleep, Negan kissing my bump. Pictures of us together filled the page. My heart ached for him.  Aaron cleared his throat as he sat in the chair across from me. 

“Well, we were given strict instructions to help you fill that book while he’s gone.” Aaron pulled the polaroid from his bag. 

“I know we aren’t him, Love. Nobody can be that for you. But we’ll keep you safe and try and make this as fun as it used to be.” Eric smiled. 

“Thank you. What a terrible welcome for you guys.” I chuckled and wiped my face. 

“It’s not the first time someone cried when I entered a house.” Lacey said. The room laughed. 

“Well, I can show you your rooms.” I said getting up and placing the book on the coffee table. I lead them upstairs giving them rooms to sleep in. Everyone got settled and went to bed. I went back down and stared at the picture of Negan and I smiling in the mirror. If only we’d known what would happen. We could have left together. I looked at the picture until I fell asleep. 

  
  


Everyone fell into a routine fairly quickly. There was less for me to do with more people here. They all shooed me away from most of the jobs I was doing. It was two months since they came, and they kept their word to Negan. I was forced to take a picture everyday for the book. The bump was no longer barely there. It was most definitely there now. I could still hide it if I needed to, but most of my clothes didn’t hide it very well. I was okay most of the time, only cried once in a while. 

“Are you supposed to be on your knees like that?” Angela and Lacey stood on the back porch, hands on their hips, watching me dig in the garden. 

“I am fine. Plus everyone is busy. I wanted to get the weeds out of this garden. Negan put seeds in the basement to be planted. It’s warm enough now.” I told them, sticking my tongue out at them. 

“Can we at least help?” Lacey smiled. 

“Yes, I could use the hands.” I told them. They came over and started digging up weeds with me. It took us most of the afternoon to get the garden in tip top shape. I stood up and sighed, content with my work for the day. 

“Tomorrow we can start planting.” I smiled. 

“You think we’ll be here that long?” Lacey asked looking sullen. 

“Maybe.  This is war. Even when it’s over, there might be nothing to go back to. We need to prepare this place for the long term.” I told her, trying to sound realistic and not hormonal. 

“And we can always make this an outpost if things aren’t so bad.” Angela smiled. Lacey nodded, though it was obvious she was still upset. 

“Let’s go make some ice tea. Negan put lemon juice in the fridge. We can pretend there’s real lemons in it. I think we even have sug-” I stopped mid sentence, my hands on my belly and my brow furrowed. 

“What’s wrong? Aaron, Eric!!” Angela cried as she put her hands on my shoulder. 

“Huh? No! It’s okay...it’s okay...they just...kicked. They haven’t done that before…” I trailed off, enamored by the little nudges in my belly.

“What!? What happened!?” Aaron and Eric came running out in a panic. 

“It’s fine. The baby just kicked.” Everyone started laughing and smiling. Aaron ran inside and got the camera. I was happy. Or I was supposed to be. I didn’t realize I was crying until Lacey wiped a tear from my face. 

“Sorry...I’m just...hormones.” I cleared my throat and rubbing my eyes. 

“Love, it’s fine. He was supposed to be with you for this moment. It’s okay to feel sad.” Eric told me. 

“Yeah...but I’m angry. He was supposed to be here. I’m pissed he isn’t and I can’t do anything about it.” I sighed. Lacey pulled me into a hug. 

“That’s okay too.” She told me. We went inside to prepare dinner. We sat at the dinner table with our MREs and ice tea. I tried to relax, forget about my anger. We laughed and it felt like a normal dinner. It was actually nice. Aaron told some corny joke, causing the group to groan. I looked over at Lacey who was looking out the kitchen window, her brow furrowed. I looked and saw someone hobbling towards the house. Shit. 

“It’s probably just a walker.” I said getting up and grabbing the shotgun. I looked out the front window, the sun was setting, casting a shadow across the figure’s face. I walked out, before anyone could protest. I shot the ground at their feet, they jumped back. So, not a walker. 

“Who the hell are you? You have three seconds to tell us before I starting aiming at body parts.” I growled, cocking the shotgun. A groan came from the person. 

“I...I know I look like shit...but am I that unrecognizable Sugar?” I nearly dropped the gun as I heard Negan’s voice. 

“Oh my god.” I said barely above a whisper. I thrusted the gun to Aaron and ran down the steps to Negan. I grabbed onto him and held on tight. 

“Miss me?” He chuckled but groaned. I pulled away, his face a cut and bruised, he was beaten bloody. 

“What happened?” I asked looking him over. 

“Dear old dad gave me a run for my money. You should see him though. He looks worse. Couldn’t kill him though. Kept seeing your face, knew you wouldn’t want that.” He sighed. 

“Let’s get you inside and cleaned up.” I told him and wrapped and arm around him to help him walk. Aaron and Eric came running to help. 

“Was wondering if you fuckers were gonna make my pregnant wife carry me.” He grumbled. We got him up stairs and into the master bathroom. Aaron and Eric sat him on the toilet. 

“I can take it from here. Thank you.” I told them as I came walking in with the first aid kit. 

“Let us know if you need anymore help. I mean it, don’t go lifting him by yourself.” Aaron said, wagging his finger at me. I nodded and they left. 

“They been taking care of you?” Negan asked. 

“Yes. Very good care. They even make me take stupid pictures everyday, for you.” I chuckled as I dabbed a cut on his forehead. 

“I want to see them.” He coughed. 

“Later. Right now you need a shower.” I told him. 

“You just want me naked. How long has it been?” He smirked. I shook my head. 

“Too long. But we aren’t doing that right now. You need a shower, food and rest.” I told him. 

“Not even a hand job?” He winked. I shook my head, stifling a laugh as I pulled his jacket off.

“No, now lift your arms.” I smiled. He raised his arms as far as he could and I slipped his shirt off. His body was covered in bruises. He probably had a broken rib at least. I’d get Aaron to wrap him later. I turned the shower on and helped him to his feet and unbuckled his pants. 

“Damn...not how I pictured the first time seeing you in a while. Getting naked and not even getting a hand job. I might just go back and kill Rick now.” He chuckled. 

“Stop being a smartass and get in the shower.” I told him. He climbed in and put his hand out for me. 

“Please. I need you.” He sighed. I looked up at him, tears filled his eyes, as they did mine. I got undressed and got in with him. He looked me up and down, his lip quivering. His hands went to my belly. 

“I missed so much…” His voice cracked. The tears fell down my face. 

“They...they kicked today. First time. All I could think of was you.” I said. He looked at me, there was a hurt shock in his eyes. 

“Damn. I almost made it. I was supposed to be there.” His voice sad and filled with anger. I wrapped him in my arms. 

“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.” I told him. He buried his face in the crook of my neck. We stood holding each other until the water went cold. We got out and into dry clothes. 

“I want to see the pictures.” He told me. 

“Alright, I’ll go get the book. You get in bed.” I told him. I went downstairs and grabbed him a protein bar and the book. 

“He alright?” Aaron asked. 

“Yeah, I think he just needs to heal. Tomorrow I want you to wrap his ribcage, I think he might have broken some. Just leave it for tonight.” I told him. He nodded. 

“You alright?” Angela asked. 

“Um...yeah. Just...it’s a lot. Trying to process.” I smiled and ran up to the bedroom. He was sitting up waiting for me. 

“I got you a protein bar to eat.” I said giving it to him.

“Thank you. I forgot I was hungry.” He said as he started eating. I put the book in his lap. He smiled and flipped it open, looking over all the pictures. 

“You grew so fast…” He sighed. 

“I guess I hit the point where it gets fast.” I smiled. 

“You look so beautiful…” He smiled. 

“I missed you.” I sniffled. He looked at me and put the book aside and wrapped me in his arms. 

“I can’t even describe how much I missed you. It’s like half of me was gone. I fucking hated it.” He said. 

“Promise you won’t leave again.” I sobbed.

“I promise...I promise.” He leaned down and kissed me. It took my breath away. I ran my fingers threw his hair. His hands held my jaw. We broke the kiss only for the need of air. 

“I’m never leaving you two, ever again.” He told me, his hand on my belly. 

“Good.” I chuckled. 

“We made an agreement. I would leave them alone, never go back. They would let us have Carson until the baby is born. I don’t know if it was the right choice, but I wasn’t in the place to be bargaining. He’ll be here today or tomorrow.” Negan sighed. 

“That sounds better than nothing.” I told him. 

“I...I tried to get them to take you and the baby in. Said I’d leave everyone alone, go off by myself, if they took you. They said no…” He grumbled. 

“Oh. Well. I don’t want to do this without you anyway. At least he still loves me enough to give us Carson.” I cleared my throat. 

“It...was Maggie. Rick didn’t want to give us shit. Maggie and Michone convinced him to let us use Carson.” He sighed. 

“Oh...I guess that’s it then.Nothing to go back to, all we can do is move forward.” I said. 

“I love you, ya know.” He smiled. 

“I know.” I said. I felt the little nudges again and gasped, grabbing Negan’s hand and putting it on my belly.

“Feel it? They’re kicking again.” I smiled. I watched Negan, his face was scrunched up in concentration as he waited to feel something. Then the baby kicked under his hand. His face burst with excitement. 

“Holy shit! That’s fucking awesome as hell! Little fucker kicking around in there!” He shouted, happy to have been here for it. 

“Don’t call the baby a ‘little fucker’!” I smacked his arm. 

“You’re right, you’re right.” He laughed. He put his cheek to my belly. “Hey little bean, sorry I called you a fucker. I got excited, I swear when I’m excited. You’ll figure that out soon. Papa is so happy to be here for you kicking and moving. Just don’t give your mom too much shit.” He kissed my belly and looked up at me and laughed. 

“Aw, Sugar. I didn’t mean to start the waterworks.” He laughed pulling me to his chest as I wiped the tears from my face. 

“I just...wasn’t sure we’d get to do this together. I’m a little emotional. You’re back and I’m full of hormones, it’s a lot.” I sniffled. 

“I know, Sugar, I know. You never have to apologize for crying. You cry all you want. I’m just gonna hold ya.” He hummed, his voice rumbling in his chest. I closed my eyes and reveled in his presence. Home, finally.


End file.
